#like my dad doesn’t go out in public or see any friends or anything because he’s ashamed. and my parents keep talking about just moving and

[ratwars2023]

teehee

[joelscurls]

best kept secret

pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

words: 6.7k

summary: In an attempt to keep your relationship secret, Joel agrees to a blind date set up by his best friend / your father. You don't take it well.

warnings: 18+ minors dni, pre-outbreak, age gap (reader is in her early 20s, Joel is 36), secret relationship, angst, explicit smut, oral (f!receiving), unprotected piv, semi-public sex, car sex, creampie, some fluff; lmk if I missed anything!

a/n: so sorry it took me almost a month to post something new ffs - life got busy and my inspiration simultaneously disappeared. but we're back, baby! anyway, dbf!joel owns my ass, so here's my rendition of him. as always, ty to my baby @javisashtray for reading this over for me and helping me through the creative process <3

Joel’s bedroom window offers a perfect view of the sunrise; of shy, pink light creeping over treetops and the roof of your dad’s house across the street.

It’s gorgeous — breathtaking, even — maybe because you can count on one hand the number of times you’ve actually seen the crest of morning. You’re far more privy to late nights and sleeping in as long as you can push it,  never been one to be up with the lark, so to speak.

You don’t mind the early wakeup call, though, not when it’s this: Joel’s head tucked between your thighs, his tongue rolling lazily over your clit, your eyes still adjusting to the light as he spreads you open for him.

He’s humming against you, his coarse beard tickling soft skin, thumbs dug into muscle to hold you in place as your back bows reflexively off the mattress. He looks so sweet like this, so eager to please, staring up at you with blown pupils.

“C’mon baby,” he purrs. “Just gimme one before you go.”

They’re the first words he’s said all morning, the first thought that’s necessitated utterance. His voice is hoarse and deep and drips honey-sweet at your core. 

Even so, despite how badly you want to — because you always want Joel’s mouth on you — you’re not sure you can. 

Because you need to get home before Denise next door leaves for her early shift. Before Susan a few houses down takes her dog out for a walk.

Before the neighborhood wakes and somebody sees you leaving Joel Miller’s house. Or worse, before your dad catches you slipping into the house in yesterday’s clothes, your car in the driveway still cold.

But with another experimental flick of Joel’s tongue, you forget all that, a content little sigh slipping past your parted lips, betraying you.

Just one, you tell yourself, and then you’ll head out.

“Fuck, okay — yeah,” you breathe, twisting your fingers into the roots of his curls.

With your permission, he buries his nose in your mound. Licks at you again — with more purpose, this time. One long, drawn out lap followed by another.  

He’s so gentle with you, so careful, caressing your folds with his tongue like they’re made of paper. It’s a dizzying juxtaposition to the way he laid you down last night and fucked you, teeth scraping your neck and cock bruising your cervix.

You’re still sore, your walls tender where he stretched them, but your pussy is drooling nonetheless, surely making a mess of the bedsheets underneath you.

Because you’re insatiable when it comes to Joel. 

For the past few weeks, since the first time you’d found yourself in his bed, you’ve craved him. Regardless of how sated he’s left you each and every time, you’ve needed more. 

It’s dangerous and stupid and undeniably wrong, having a fling with your dad’s best-friend. But you’re finding it difficult to consider the morality of it all when just his tongue makes you come harder than any other man’s cock ever has. 

That tongue, now dipping into your apex, drawing more slick out of you as his thumb finds your swollen clit — It’s overwhelming how good it feels, how good he is at this.

He’s bringing you to the edge languidly, savoring the taste of you, the feel of your silky flesh. It’s like he doesn’t want this to be over, needs to stretch the moment as far as it’ll go, milk every last second before you slip from his grasp.

But it’s going to end soon; it’s inevitable with the way he’s laving your pussy, the crushed velvet of his tongue gliding through your folds so wet and warm. Your orgasm is building, and you’re powerless to stave it off any longer.

“Joel,” you warn, his name a high-pitched whine. 

“Shh, I know babygirl; it’s okay.” 

Two of his fingers hook at your entrance and push in, pacifying you as his thumb continues working your clit. “I got you. Let go for me, sweetheart.”

The soothe of his voice floods your senses like nitrous; renders your body loose and your head foggy. You come apart with a string of shattered breaths, eyes rolled back and fingers twisted into the duvet.

Joel talks you through it: that’s it, pretty girl; so good for me; always so good for me, and though he sounds so far away, his words are the only thing keeping you tethered to reality.

The world comes back into view slowly. Air settles in your lungs. And you can’t help but laugh at how fucked-out you feel when you peer down at Joel, his gaze already locked on you, expectantly.

“Okay?” he asks, rubbing at your inner thigh.

“Yeah,” you exhale, corners of your lips pulling taut. “More than okay.”

He smiles back at you. Props himself up with hands planted either side of you on the mattress and hovers over your feeble form.

“Good,” he whispers, dipping his head down to kiss your forehead, your nose, your mouth. He licks into you, letting you taste yourself on him — a little sweet, a little bitter — and his lips are so soft that you nearly melt. “Did so good, angel.” 

You want nothing more than to spend all day in this bed with him. Return the favor a few times over. Learn what he looks like in the afternoon sun against the backdrop of navy blue sheets. What he tastes like after his coffee rather than before.

“I don’t want to leave,” you admit against his mouth and he frowns, taking one of your hands in his. He presses a kiss to each of your knuckles, one by one, his eyes never straying from yours.

“I don’t want you to either, darlin’. But you can come back tonight, yeah?”

Tonight. Hours away. A whole day between now and then. But it’ll have to do. 

“Tonight,” you repeat. Solidify it. 

You slink home just as the street lights dim.

The house is quiet when you enter, apart from the incessant ticking of the grandmother clock in the living room. It sets off a throbbing in your head, a dull pang right at the front of your skull that you massage with two fingers as you ascend the stairs.

You move cautiously up each step, wincing at every creak of old wood. It must take minutes to reach the second-floor landing, and then you’re tiptoeing past your father’s room, listening for signs of sleep behind the seal of his door. Sure enough, you catch it, a single, drawn-out snore, loud enough that you let your feet fall, shuffling the rest of the way to the bathroom across the hall.

You immediately crank the shower on, climbing in as soon as you see steam. Lathering your skin with citrus-scented body wash, the smell of sex washes off your body and down the drain.

The warm water soothes your sore muscles; bittersweet relief. You stand there until the stream grows icy, stepping out and toweling yourself off just as you hear the familiar blare of your dad’s alarm on the other side of the wall.

By the time you’ve dressed and made your way downstairs, he’s already in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee with his back to you. 

Sink empty, counters borderline sparkling, a coaster tucked under his warm mug — your father is a neat man. He does not take kindly to mess.

God forbid, anybody disrupt the sacred balance of his home; move something and forget to put it back, break something of his that should be kept intact.

“Hey.”

“Hey, kiddo,” he yawns. Turns to face you. “You were up early. Heard the shower going.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” you lie.

“Something on your mind?”

Heat blooms across your chest and up your neck. There’s no way he knows — you’ve been far too careful. Still, you’re on edge, and the question lodges itself between your ribs uncomfortably as you frantically search for an answer.

“Uh, n-no,” you stutter. “Just work stuff, I guess.”

He seems to buy it, reaching for the percolator and re-filling his mug with a sigh, “Just gotta give it time. You only just started. Plus, it’s your first job out of school. They don’t expect you to know it all right away.”

It’s good advice, if not misguided. You nod as if you’re absorbing it, taking it straight to heart. As if your mind isn’t preoccupied.

You grab a mug from the cabinet. Fill it with coffee and creamer. Perch yourself at the breakfast table and take a slow, steadying sip.

The caffeine has just about seeped into your bloodstream when-

-there’s a knock at the door.

Your dad shoots you a puzzled look, one which you immediately return. Who could that be, so early on a Wednesday morning?

And when he pushes open the door to reveal none other than Joel, you just about fall out of your chair. Your nails absentmindedly dig into the wood of the table in an attempt to brace yourself.

“Oh, buddy — hey! Come on in,” your dad says, patting him on the back as he steps over the threshold. “Wasn’t expecting you.”

You grasp the handle of your mug like a lifeline. For a fleeting moment, you worry the ceramic will shatter in your hands.

Joel is dressed — blue cotton t-shirt covering his broad back and the deep, red scratches you left there when you dug your nails into skin, your legs hiked over his hips and your face tucked into his chest.

The pair of boxers peeking over the waistband of his jeans are different from the ones you pulled off of him last night, the ones he shimmied back into before you slept cradled in his arms.

He’s a different Joel here, now — your father’s friend, your neighbor — not the man who breaks you down with his tongue or the one who calls you his good girl while you take his entire, throbbing length. 

No, this Joel, standing in your kitchen in the presence of your father, has never betrayed him. Hasn’t tasted his friend’s daughter or felt the tight embrace of her wet, warm cunt around his cock. This Joel is reliable, honest, not one to do harm.

You do not desire this Joel, cannot. You must look at him with apathetic eyes. Must keep the boat of your longing at bay. 

Easier said than done. It’s as if your desire for him is a feral beast, fed by his touch and left starving in its wake. You feel like you’ve just run a marathon, sweat beading at your collar as you not-so-subtly follow the subconscious flex of his hands, the bunching of fabric over his biceps.

His voice bounces off the backsplash, and your fingers tighten around the handle of your mug.

“Yeah, I uh — I went to make myself coffee and realized I was out. Was hopin’ you might have some to spare?”

He can’t be serious. He came over for coffee? He couldn’t get some on the road?

“I’m afraid she took the last of it,” your dad’s eyes point to you, and you ignore the burn of Joel’s gaze when his follow.

“Ahh,” he says. “‘ts okay. I’ll grab some on my way in.” 

His fingers taptaptap on the edge of the countertop, bottom lip tucked between his teeth like there’s something else. Another reason he came here.

And then you spot it — your wallet, dark red leather, poking out the top of Joel’s back pocket. 

You must’ve left it in his room before you hurried home. Somewhere amongst the mess of trinkets and trash on his dresser. You half-remember dropping it there last night as he’d kneeled in front of you and peppered kisses up the length of your leg.

Thankfully, your dad is oblivious as ever, giving Joel the perfect opportunity to inconspicuously slip you your wallet when he turns around and crosses the kitchen, placing his empty mug in the sink. 

Joel sidesteps once, twice, extending his arm and snapping it back as soon as you have the wallet in your grasp.

Your father clears his throat. Spins to find Joel exactly where he was. “I’ve been thinking,” he starts, wrestling a slice of bread out of the bag and dropping it into the toaster, “I gotta set you up with this co-worker of mine, Deb.”

Joel freezes. You watch as the color drains from his face and his large hand anxiously cards through dark curls. You’re pretty sure you freeze too, breath caught somewhere in your throat until your dad turns to you and you remember to exhale. 

“You know Deb, right, honey?” he asks. You mentally flick through the rolodex of your dad’s coworkers. 

There’s Leanne, tall redhead, hosted a potluck a few months back at which you tasted the worst mac & cheese you’ve ever had. And Barbara from accounting, who he got into a heated argument with over who makes the best BBQ in the city. You only remember her name because he hadn’t shut up about how wrong her opinion was for a full week. 

This woman actually thinks the Smoke Shop has got better ribs than Lou’s. I said to her, Barbara, your taste buds must be absolutely torched.

But Deb? You don’t recall a Deb. Still, you’re pretty sure you hate her, just in hearing her name in this context. 

You shake your head, no. 

“Well, I guess you haven’t seen her in a while. She was there that day I brought you into the office.”

“When I was ten?” you retort. 

“Yeah, I guess it was that long ago, huh?”

You shrug. He returns his attention to Joel. “Anyway, Deb – she’s around your age, just got divorced about a year back, and she’s a real nice woman. I think you two would really hit it off.”

“Is that so?” Joel replies. You swear his voice wavers. If your dad notices, he doesn’t say anything.

“You’ll like her Joel, I promise. I mean, when’s the last time you went out with a nice lady? Not since – what was her name — Jean? And if things were going well with her, I’d hope you’d tell your old friend.” The toaster pops, and he retrieves his slice of toast. Grabs a butter knife from the utensil drawer.  

“No, I ain’t seeing Jean,” Joel sighs. Flashes you an apologetic glance as your dad slathers his toast in artificial purple jam, blissfully unaware.

“Well, you gotta get back out there!” 

Joel’s gaze rolls to the ceiling. “I don’t know – I’m just not real interested in datin’ right now.”

You exhale, then — a quiet declaration of relief that seems to go unnoticed — unperturbed even when your dad continues his pitch. 

I’ve known this woman for years Joel, I’m telling you, the two of you’d be the perfect match; she’s a looker too, real pretty.

Ew. Tuning him out, you check the clock, find that you only have a few minutes before you need to get going. You stand from the table and make your way toward the sink with your now-empty coffee mug in hand.

Would I ever lead you astray? your dad is asking just as you brush past Joel. His hand, idle by his side, catches the fabric of your blouse and you have to fight to ignore the pinprick of electricity it ignites under your skin.

“No, I know,” Joel grumbles. “I trust your judgment ‘n all, ‘ts just-”

“Will you just give her a chance?”

“Jesus; fine.”

The mug slips from your grip, falls into the sink with a clang.

Your dad glares at you, expression softening only when you gesture to the still-intact ceramic lying on its side in the basin.

He’s quickly distracted, then, jotting a series of numbers down onto a scrap of notebook paper, the blue ink pressed in so hard that it’s beginning to bleed through. 

“Atta boy,” he drawls, sliding it across the counter. Joel pinches it between two fingers, folds the paper without looking at it and stuffs it into his front pocket. 

“Promise you’ll give her a call tonight? I may or may not have already talked you up, and I need to know you’re not gonna make me look bad here.”

Joel has to see you staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He must. If looks could kill, he’d be six feet under already. But he’s refusing to meet your gaze, eyes glued to the cabinet directly in front of him as he nods. “Yeah, I’ll call her tonight,” he says, a small, unconvincing smile pulling at the corner of his lips. 

He’s actually agreeing to this?

You need to get out of here before you say something rash.

The anger bubbles in you slowly, then all at once, threatening to boil over as you slip on your shoes and sling your bag over your shoulder. 

Marching toward the door, you offer a half-hearted bye, not bothering to look back before you leave.

The office is already milling with people by the time you stroll in, ten minutes late. 

The conversation between Joel and your dad is still running laps in your head as you sneak past your boss’s door.

It sticks there through the morning and well into the afternoon, your dad’s words an incessant earworm: I think you two would really hit it off.

The thing is — you can’t blame Joel for saying yes to the setup. Not really. Your situation is complicated, messy, bound to end badly.

Maybe he’d be happier with Deb. 

They could take walks together, stroll through the grocery store or down the street  hand-in-hand. Throw dinner parties and shamelessly gush about their relationship to their friends. All without fear of being caught doing something wrong.

Because that’s what this is, you and Joel — it’s wrong. Not like you weren’t already well aware of that. Leave it to some woman you’ve never met to rub it in.

The day passes infuriatingly slow.

The pile of emails in your inbox only grows larger by the time you’re due to clock out, stack of reports on your desk barely touched. You wince when your boss stops by your cubicle on her way out, eager for an update.

“Sorry, Linda; a couple of these were more time-consuming than I’d hoped,” you lie. But you can tell she doesn’t buy it, not one bit, her expression souring as you shuffle through papers.

“I need these done by the end of the week, no matter what.”

“Of course,” you mutter, face heating with embarrassment. “I’ll get them done and on your desk by Friday.”

“Thanks.” Her heels are already clacking on tile when you open your mouth to apologize again, your sorry lost to the ether.

You gather your things and scramble to your feet as soon as she’s out of view, not sticking around to watch your computer power down. By the time you get to your car, Joel’s number is already dialed on your phone.

He picks up after two rings.

“Darlin’ — are you okay?”

It’s admittedly uncharacteristic for you to call him so early. You usually wait until after dark, when you’ve both retreated to your respective bedrooms, away from listening ears.

But this can’t wait. It’s been eating at you all day, digging into your work. If you don’t talk to him about it, you’re going to end up unemployed. You don’t bother to ask if he’s still on the job site, around other people. “You’re going on this date.” It’s not a question. More of an accusation.

“Baby,” he sighs. You try your best to ignore his molasses drawl and the way it seeps into your chest. 

“Why didn’t you say no?” 

“How could I?” he groans. “There’s your dad, askin’ me if I’m seein’ someone, sayin’ he’s already told this lady about me – what am I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know.” Your voice comes out a whine. “Make something up. Tell him you’ve taken a vow of celibacy.”

He laughs, low and breathy on the other end. “Yeah, baby. Think he’d believe that one, f’sure.”

“Fuck,” you huff. “I just— I don’t-“

You want to tell him not to go. To cancel. Fake his own death. Do whatever it takes to get out of this. But you have no right, not really. The two of you aren’t dating. You don’t have any control over what he does or who he sees. And you don’t want that, no. You just want him to choose you.

“I don’t wanna go, darlin’. I really don’t. But if I do this, I think it’ll get him off my back for a while. He won’t have a reason to suspect that I’m foolin’ around with his daughter.”

Fooling around. His phrasing is a metaphorical punch in the gut.

It’s not exactly a lie. You haven’t put a label on this thing, whatever it is. It’s been purely physical: lips slotted to lips, tongues pressed together, swapped sweat and saliva. But hearing it reduced to two words, words with such a casual connotation — as if you haven’t been driven by overwhelming desire — makes your stomach churn.

Joel doesn’t seem to clock it when you go quiet, a cocktail of rage and sorrow sloshing around your insides. “It’s for the best,” he adds, a shot of hard, burning liquor. 

“Yeah,” you say defeatedly. Choke back the pathetic tears that creep up your throat. “For the best.”

He ends the call with the excuse of bad cell reception. Promises to talk to you later. You’re not sure that you believe him.

The phrase fooling around curls up in your head, a wet dog, its fur dripping into the crevices of your rattled brain the entire drive home.

You dodge Joel’s calls for the remainder of the week.

There’s no use in talking to him when you have nothing to say, when you know any words you attempt will be overtaken by tears.

Even so, it doesn’t stop him from trying. His number lights up the screen of your phone at least twice a day.

He leaves voicemails that you do not listen to. You can’t. The last thing you need is his syruppy drawl in your ear. You’ll break; you know you will.

So instead, you delete them. Rid yourself of temptation.

But you still ache for him — a devastating truth. You lumber through the days, bones heavy with hurt. Find yourself kept up at night by thoughts of Joel and the infuriatingly soothing timbre of his voice, the intoxicating callous of his fingertips against your soft skin. 

It’s a lonely thing, yearning for Joel Miller.

On Friday, your father beams at the dinner table. He’s grinning like a child as he stuffs a forkful of rice into his mouth.

“Joel and Deb’s date is tomorrow,” he says. “Think they’ll really hit it off, don’t you?”

You’re dumbfounded for a long moment — can’t believe that this is your life now: being asked about your thoughts on Joel and the ever-elusive Deb as a couple. When it takes too long for you to answer, your father’s fork stills pointedly on his plate, and you sputter.

“Oh! I mean, I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t remember Deb.” You can’t help your condescending tone. Your dad doesn’t seem to catch it anyway. 

“Well,” he says, “I think they’ll be a match. Hoping so, anyway. The man has been such a hermit lately — maybe if he has a lady, he’ll get out more!”

“You sound real excited,” you grumble. Stab four peas on the prongs of your fork.

“It is exciting. I’ve never set anyone up before. And the best part is, the place they’re going to — the Tavern — it’s got rooms you can rent out for wedding receptions. Just imagine if down the line, they got mar-“

“Dad,” you stop him. You think you’ll be physically sick if you let him finish that sentence. “Sorry, I just — I’m really tired, all of a sudden. I think I’m going to head to bed early.”

It’s not a complete lie. You’re emotionally exhausted as a result of the past couple days. Sleep sounds like a much-needed, blissful escape right now.

Your dad doesn’t question you. He just nods. Swipes your plate from in front of you and brings it to the sink along with his.

Of course, you find it impossible to actually drift off that night. Tossing and turning, you battle the glaring urge to get up, slink into the home-office and look up directions to the Tavern. 

Not that you’re planning to go there anytime soon — you’re just curious. That’s all. 

Around midnight, you give up, pad down the hallway and into the room parallel yours. The computer dials up slowly, and you chew your bottom lip as you wait. 

You snatch a piece of paper from the printer and a pen from the #1 Dad mug that sits next to the monitor. Click on the internet icon and type the words into the search bar.

This is definitely a bad idea. Maybe the worst you’ve had in a while.

You jot the address down anyway.

Downtown Austin is buzzing with life. 

Patrons spilling out of bars, tourists striding down the street in their brand new Stetsons – it almost distracts you from the task at hand. 

At just past seven, you’d told your dad you were going out, meeting a friend for drinks. He’d been a bit taken aback, seeing as you’re not very social these days, but he’d seemed happy. Relieved. 

That’s not what you’re doing, of course.

No – in reality, you’re turning into the parking lot attached to the Tavern. It’s packed to the brim with cars, but you still manage to find Joel’s truck, its license plate number burned into the back of your mind after countless mornings of absently reading it as you snuck past.

It’s idle and empty when you inch by, and even though you knew he’d be here, on this date, your heart still sinks. Because maybe a tiny part of you had hoped he’d stand Deb up. 

You should leave. It was stupid to come here in the first place. What are you going to do — storm inside and demand that he leave with you?

You consider it for half a second, groaning when you realize how pitiful you are. Defeated, you swing your car into a spot at the back, facing the building, and shift it into park. You hug the steering wheel dejectedly.

From here, you have a straight-shot view of the restaurant’s entrance, a set of double doors at the side of the building. Groups spill out every so often, every pair that emerges causing your back to arch reflexively.

Joel and Deb are probably discussing their interests right now, bonding over a shared connection with your dad. You can vividly picture the smile likely plastered across his face — the same one you’ve elicited with sweet filth whispered in his ear.

And you’re here, sitting in your running car, watching the door. Your pulse thumps obnoxiously loud in your ears.

Minutes pass like molasses, slow and thick. You watch the clock on the car radio obsessively, betting with yourself on what time they’ll leave. After thirty minutes of nothing, you’re convinced that they’re going to close the place out.

But then the door opens again, and you straighten up, immediately met with the sight of Joel and Deb. 

She’s talking animatedly, eyes widening every few words, blonde hair wafting around her narrow face. It’s undeniable that she’s stunning, even from far away; possesses the kind of beauty you see on magazine covers in line at the grocery store. The jealousy that pools in your gut burns like acetone in an open wound.

She takes his arm as they walk toward the parking lot, and he lets her, despite the rest of his body appearing strangely rigid.

You wonder if he’ll take her home. Lead her to his truck, help her up the step to the passenger seat and sneak a look at her ass under her dress before shutting the door. If they’ll leave her car in the lot for the night, come back to retrieve it in the morning once he’s helped her forget about her loser ex-husband; let the scent of her perfume seep into the bed sheets to cover up yours.

But he doesn’t lead her to his truck. You watch as they unexpectedly turn down a row of cars, disappearing from your view completely, his arm still locked with hers. 

He could still kiss her. Press her against the car. Promise her that he’ll call — and he will, first thing tomorrow. He’s probably just being a real gentleman. Treating her like a woman he might want to marry someday. 

Maybe he knows, after just one date, that she’s his soulmate. He’ll buy the ring in a couple weeks. They’ll be engaged in a month’s time, and he’ll say he just couldn’t wait any longer. 

She’s the one thing I’ve been missing.

You stew in the agonizing unknown for what feels like hours before Joel materializes once again, backside illuminated by headlights as he strides toward his truck.

And then — he stops. You see the exact moment he notices your car in the parking lot, his eyebrows threading together and his hands splaying over his hips.

He’s staring directly through the windshield. At you.

Fuck.

He takes a few slow steps. Stops in front of the hood. Narrows his eyes and flexes his jaw.

With a deep breath, you unlock the doors. Gesture for him to get in the passenger side. 

He immediately rounds the car, prying the door open and climbing inside just as a SUV pulls out the row he and Deb had walked down. 

The door slams when he yanks it closed. The sound echoes through the cab of the car.

“You wanna fuckin’ explain what you’re doin’ here?” he snaps. You’re afraid to look him in the eye, embarrassment and now, anger, spooling hot behind your ears.

You know you’re in the wrong. You shouldn’t have followed him. But does he have to be so hostile?

When your gaze finally meets his, he looks — distraught — jaw clenched and lips set in a straight line. His fingers absently dig into denim-covered thighs.

“I don’t know,” you mumble, “I just wanted to see how you were with her.” And it’s the truth; not one you want to be admitting right now, to him, but it’s the truth nonetheless.

“Doesn’t give you the right to spy on me.”

“So what was I supposed to do? Sit at home and mope while the guy I was seeing is on a date with someone else? Oh no, I’m sorry,” you throw your hands up, form air quotes with your fingers, “the guy I was fooling around with.”

This seems to strike a nerve. His jaw twitches, and his fingers still on his lap.

“It wasn’t like that,” he grits

“No? Isn’t that all this was to you: fooling around?”

There’s a beat. Joel sighs. 

“No — fuck, no. Of course not.”

His expression softens. A crack in solid stone. “I tried callin’ you,” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” you admit.

He nods. Another beat.

“Did you kiss her?” you ask.

“No.” He says it with intent, with promise, eyes firmly locked on yours now. 

Your mouth goes dry.

“No?”

“No,” he repeats. “I didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t want to.”

“You don’t want her?” 

“No,” he says flatly, his pupils bulging in the lamplight, black bleeding into the brown of his irises. “I don’t want her.” 

“Why not?” 

He leans forward. His weight presses into the center console and his breath fans your face — warm, tinged with the scent of cheap beer.

“I don’t want her,” he says, voice an octave lower, “because I want you. I thought you knew that?” 

The radio drones between the two of you, some classic rock song you think you recognize flitting through the speaker. Your pulse beats staccato in your throat, off tempo.

“You want me?” you ask, a little breathless, and the next words you say are beyond dumb, beyond reckless, but you say them anyway. “Prove it.”

Joel doesn’t hesitate. He closes the slight distance between you and kisses you, hard, his tongue frantically sliding against yours through parted lips.

It’s sloppy, and desperate, and you feel drunk on the taste of him, on longing laced with carnal need. He’s groaning into your mouth, grabbing your head with both hands, burying his fingers in your hair — as if he can’t get close enough, as if he’ll only be satisfied once he’s swallowed you whole. You’re pretty sure you want him to.

Your hands move frantically to his t-shirt, then, bunch into the fabric and pull. You need to feel the skin underneath, need to rove your hands along his bare chest. He accommodates, tugging the shirt by the back of the collar, lips separating from yours ever-so-briefly to bring it over his head and toss it onto the backseat. 

And then he’s back on you, licking into your mouth again, eliciting a whimper from you when his hand wraps around the side of your throat, just under your jaw. 

Your palms splay across his torso, wander over warm, golden skin. You’ve missed this, god, you’ve missed this — but it’s still not enough. You need to feel more of him. In your mouth, in your hand, in your cunt — you’re not picky. Just need him in whatever way he’ll provide.

“Joel,” you whimper into his mouth, fingers winding around his bicep. 

He pulls back. Peers at you through hooded eyes. “What is it, baby?” he asks through labored breaths. 

“Need you — please.”

He immediately unbuckles your seatbelt. Lowers his seat back and manhandles you onto his lap. You go easily; slot yourself to him with legs folded on either side of his thighs. 

Wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, you grind down into his lap. His cock strains against denim underneath you. He groans when you swivel your hips and brush the heft of it again with your clothed heat.

“You gonna let me fuck you?” he asks into your mouth, his forehead pressed to yours.

Your breath catches. 

You know what he’s really asking: are you going to  let him fuck you here, in the parking lot of a public establishment, where anybody could see?

But you don’t care. In fact, you’re way past caring, the emptiness of your cunt too painful to ignore any longer. Let them watch him take what’s his.

You nod frantically. “Yes,” you pant. “Please.”

Joel nods too, as if he’s accepting his fate. He’s going to fuck his friend’s daughter in the passenger seat of her car. There’s no way around it — not when you’re begging for it. He’s going to give you what you need.

“Okay,” he soothes, “I got you baby.” 

He helps you out of your pants, then; clumsily maneuvers them down and off your legs along with your panties and tosses them aimlessly into the back.

He doesn’t bother to take his jeans off. Lets you unzip them and pop the button open, your nimble fingers making quick work of it. And then you’re pulling his cock out of his boxers, stiff and leaking in your grasp.

You steady yourself with hands on his shoulders just as he begins to pepper placating kisses along your neck. “Go ahead baby,” he whispers into your ear. “Take it; it’s yours.”

His head falls back against the seat as you stroke him a few times and line his cock up with your dripping entrance, his hands clasped around your waist. 

You sink down slowly, savoring every inch of him as he burrows in deeper. He’s so thick, stretching you like it’s the first time again, your walls fluttering as they relax around his cock.

“Fuck,” Joel slurs, fingers digging into your skin impatiently when you still, fully seated on him.

“Gotta move baby — please move.”

He’s so fucking deep, though, his cockhead bumping your cervix, and your entire body feels gelatinous atop him. A cloying sort of heat hangs around your head. You swivel your hips weakly, your forehead falling to rest on his with a heavy sigh.

Joel is happy to take control, bucking up into you so hard you see stars. You can’t suppress the string of moans that spill from your mouth, and Joel doesn’t seem to mind. He’s just as loud, anyway, his broken sounds bleeding into yours, bouncing off glass and leather.

Neither of you can muster an actual word, though, not with him rutting up into you, sheathing himself in your pussy over and over again. He’s relentlessly hitting that spot — the one that has you practically clinging to him for dear life. 

It’s approaching too quickly; he’s going to make you come.

One of your hands flies to the roof of the car in an attempt to brace yourself, flat palm pressing into it so hard you worry it’ll pop. 

Joel takes the opportunity to drag you down in his lap, spearing you on his cock, and the sudden change in angle makes you cry out.

“Oh f— ahh, oh my—“

“That’s it,” he coos, “you got it, babygirl.”

His words tip you over the edge, your entire body locking up as you gush around him. You’re wetting his lap, slick splattering his thighs, and he loves it, his fervid moan telling you so.

His movements begin to falter then, hips stuttering underneath you as he chases his own high.

“Cmon, baby,” you goad, “please fill me up.”

He grunts when he spills inside, his face nestling in your chest, heaving as he works through it and begins to come down. You don’t move, not that Joel would let you, still holding you on his lap like he’s afraid to let you go.

You nuzzle into his embrace as his cock softens inside you.

You stay like that for a while, probably too long given that anybody could easily look into the car and see you straddling him. You don’t have the energy to care.

Eventually, you lift your head from its spot on Joel’s chest. Look up at him with bleary eyes.

“Joel,” you say.

He meets your gaze, face shiny with sweat and his hair a mess. He looks gorgeous like this, you think. The way only you get to see him.

“Yeah?” He grazes along your arm with featherlight fingers. His touch raises goosebumps on your skin.

“Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“About wanting me.” In truth, you’re not sure you want the answer. But you need to know, definitively, if Joel is yours. You’re done sharing him.

“Oh, baby,” he drawls. “Of course I do. You’re all I want. Do you want me?”

And it’s a stupid question. He has to know that. You’re nodding before he can even finish it. “Yes,” you breathe. “I want you, Joel”

“Then it’s settled. It’s me and you. No more…interlopers.”

You giggle. Reluctantly separate yourself from his body and re-dress. You settle back into the driver’s seat with achy legs.

You’ve never felt more content than you do in this moment.

Still, you’ll have to hide — won’t be able to share the news of your new relationship with friends or coworkers, your dad — and neither will Joel. 

You don’t care much, not as long as he’s yours, but you need to be sure he feels the same.

“Joel,” you stop him as he opens the passenger-side door to get out. He stills with one leg swung out the door.

“Yeah, darlin’?”

“Are you sure you don’t mind…being a secret? Don’t mind keeping me a secret?”

He looks at you like you have two heads.

He pulls his leg back into the car. Shuts the door and leans over the console again.

Taking your chin between his fingers, he forces your gaze. Makes sure you’re listening.

“I want you — doesn’t matter who knows or doesn’t know. Long as you’re mine.”

Your chest tightens, and your heart squeezes inside your ribcage.

“I’m yours?”

He smiles. Presses a chaste kiss between your eyes, on the tip of your nose, on your lips. The same way he did the other morning. 

It all feels somehow sweeter, now.

“Yeah, angel. You’re mine. My girl.”

end notes: tysm for reading! please consider commenting and/or reblogging if you enjoyed! I've been toying with the idea of turning this into a series so lmk if that's something you'd be interested in hehe.

Also, I hopped on the bandwagon and made a sideblog for notifs! I'll be doing away with a taglist from here on out, so follow @joelscurlsupdates & turn on notifications if you wanna be notified when I post a new fic :-)

tag list: @janaispunk @amanitacowboy @fhatbhabie @frannyzooey @lola8888673

[guiltyasdave]

i can see the end as it begins

chapter 1 • series masterlist

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: You meet your father’s new friend for the first time, but he’s a lot different than you expected.

word count: ~5k

tags/warnings: explicit smut -> 18+ mdni, dbf!Dave, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, angst, daddy issues (reader’s dad isn’t a nice person), able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, unprotected p in v, semi-public sex, fingering, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation kink, spanking, pet names, let me know if i missed anything 🫶🏻

a/n: my favorite person on this app @joelscurls planted the idea of dbf!dave in both our heads and after many many feral dms, porn gifs, plotting and just generally freaking out, we have finally managed to put the first chapter together :) we’re currently planning with 4 chapters in total that we’re gonna take turns posting, so go follow jess if you don’t already (criminal behavior tbh)! i’m beyond excited to be able to do this with someone whose writing i adore sooo much, we’re both beyond excited about this story, and we hope that you enjoy it 🫶🏻

follow @joelscurlsupdates and @guiltyasdavenotifs for updates and find jess’s masterlist here and my masterlist here :)

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics!

“I want a divorce.”

It’s been almost a year since Carol spoke those words into the tense silence of their dining room and they still echo in Dave’s mind as if it happened yesterday.

He doesn’t mourn the marriage, doesn’t miss Carol, not in the way he probably should. But he mourns the life that he had, the perfect suburban family, the stability. A little boring maybe, but safe, calming. Predictable.

And he misses his girls. He misses the sound of small feet on the hardwood-floor greeting him as soon as he opened the front door, giggly exclamations of “Daddy’s home!” and tiny hands grabbing at him, begging to be picked up. Now he opens the door to an empty, silent apartment. He has them every second weekend, which he rationally knows makes the most sense with his often irregular working hours, but it’s simply not enough. It’s like time is constantly running through his fingers and he just can’t make it stop, can’t bring his life back under control.

He’s doing what he can to keep himself busy, anything to keep his mind occupied and his thoughts from spiraling into that pit of loneliness that he’s found himself in. He started reconnecting with friends, going out with his colleagues and contacting people from his army days that he hasn’t spoken to in years, trying to build a social life outside of his family and the neighbors that he no longer lives next to.

It’s tedious, making him realize that he really doesn’t like people all that much, but it’s better than spending his evenings by himself and wondering where things went so awfully wrong.

He spends a lot of time with Jim, one of the guys that trained with him and that he always got along with rather well. Jim was delighted when Dave called, promptly inviting him to join him at golf the next day, which somehow turned into a weekly event on Dave’s schedule. It’s nice enough, giving him some sense of routine and he finds that he’s rather good at it. Jim runs his own company by now, the thing that he invests all of his time in, which got him a lot of money, but also a divorce.

It’s all he talks about, too, but it’s fine with Dave, not being forced to contribute that much to the conversation – because really, there’s not much worth mentioning happening in his life anyway – and he’s content to just nod along and hum in agreement most of the time.

Jim has a daughter too, a lot older than Dave’s though, already out of the house, attending law school. He can tell that Jim is proud when he talks about her, but it always seems to be connected to achievements, an underlying pressure to their relationship that leaves Dave a little uneasy and he silently vows to himself to never apply any sort of conditions to his love for his daughters.

But he's never met the young woman and he probably never will, so he doesn’t dwell on it, because what does it matter to him, really?

You huff a sigh as the familiar sight of the country club that your father loves to frequent comes into view and hand the Uber driver a tip before sliding out of the car.

You had thought you’d be getting a night out with your Dad, just the two of you, a rare occurrence. Not that you had been particularly looking forward to being grilled about law school, your grades, networking and internship opportunities, but at least he would be listening to you, paying attention. Joking that he was making sure that the money he put into your education was well invested, a joke that felt less funny every time you were reminded just how financially dependent you were on your father.

If the topic of conversation wasn’t school, it was what kind of acquaintances you’ve made, if maybe you’d met a guy with good connections, someone who could introduce you to the right people. Cautionary warnings not to get involved with the wrong sort, not to get on the wrong track.

Just once, you would like to talk about if you were enjoying school, what living on your own was like, how you got along with your roommate, the fun times you had with your girlfriends, anything about your life that wasn’t somehow connected to success or keeping up appearances. But your relationship wasn’t like that. He didn’t care about these sorts of things, he never had.

You continuously swallowed down the heavy feeling of envy in your stomach when your friends talked about their parents, painting a picture of unconditional love and support that was foreign to you, telling yourself that everything was fine the way it was.

“I invited Dave to join us tomorrow,” he then told you yesterday morning, offhandedly, sipping his coffee and his eyes already glued to his phone. You nodded silently, forcing your lips into something that resembled a smile. He had mentioned someone named Dave before, an old friend from his army days that he had recently reconnected with, if you remembered correctly. It didn’t matter, really, your father’s countless acquaintances blurred into a mix of vaguely familiar faces in your head anyway. If you had mixed feelings about the evening plans before, this new development made it clear that you wouldn’t partake in the conversation much, just smile politely, sit pretty and let the grown ups talk.

Steeling yourself, you walk in, your heels clicking against the floor. After spotting your dad almost immediately and waving in his direction, you make a beeline for the bar. He was sitting alone, you think, furrowing your brow in thought. You’re running a little late yourself, maybe that Dave guy couldn’t make it? You don’t hate the idea of that.

Dave had been reluctant to come out tonight, couldn’t help the feeling that he was intruding on his friend’s father-daughter time, something that he was desperate to have more of, but Jim had insisted.

“Lots of women you could meet there!”

He had scoffed under his breath, not able to picture himself meeting someone new, going through the motions of getting to know them, opening up, adjusting his routine to someone else’s again. He could much less picture himself meeting a woman he’d be interested in at a fucking country club of all places. Eventually, the thought of another evening in his silent and empty apartment with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company made him accept anyway.

He’s drumming his fingers against the polished wooden bar, waiting to pick up the second round of beers for Jim and himself, when someone slides up to the counter beside him. He glances over, eyes focusing in on the woman who is studying the drinks menu.

He feels an inexplicable pull towards her, couldn’t look away again even if he tried. She’s beautiful, he thinks as he takes in her features in the soft warm light, lingering on the shape of her lips, before his gaze trails down her body, over the short black dress that’s clinging to her in the most enticing way. She’s also younger than him; too young, the responsible part of his mind argues. Not the kind of woman that he should be interested in meeting. He still can’t look away.

“Evening.” The greeting comes out before he can stop himself. She looks up, a hint of annoyance on her pretty face, but her gaze softens as her eyes meet his. A smirk plays on her lips.

“Hi.” Her eyes flicker down his own body and up again, something akin to excitement taking over her expression. He’s rusty, hasn’t done this in ages, but her interest is palpable, and it shoots a thrill of pleasure through him.

“I’m David,” he introduces himself. No one has called him David in… god knows how long, but it feels better than Dave in this moment, right somehow. Like he can be a different person, just for a little while.

“Pleasure,” she grins, tells him her name and shakes his hand, her eyes glinting in the warm lights of the bar. Her touch on his skin, even just his hand, is like electricity is flowing through the air between them. She feels so soft and his life has been so devoid of softness lately that he has to force himself to let go of her hand again.

Something tugs at the back of his mind, like this name should ring a bell, but he shoves the thought aside. He’s too busy picturing himself taking her home this evening, imagining how soft her skin would feel in other places, how she would look splayed out underneath him on his sheets, how her breath would sound when he–

“I’ve never seen you around here before, are you new?” her melodic voice interrupts the vivid daydream playing in his mind. She has taken a step towards him and hints of the sweet notes of her perfume are beginning to surround the air around him. It’s getting a little hard to think straight.

“I– yes. First time actually,” he laughs and delights in the way her face lights up at the sound. “You come here a lot, then?” The cliché line makes him want to cringe, but she doesn’t falter, only shrugs and lets her eyes slowly trail down his body once more, obviously wanting him to notice.

“Depends. I might be here more often if it means I get to see you.”

She reaches out until her fingers softly graze his wrist and it demands a great amount of willpower not to take her home right this instant.

The heartbeat in your chest is thrumming along to the butterflies that are erupting in your stomach. You’ve never been this bold, too shy to flirt at all most of the time, but the stranger in front of you is clouding your sense of judgment and has your insecurities flying right out of the window. His interest is written over his face clear as day and you feel an immediate pull towards him that you can’t explain.

He’s so handsome that your hands are itching to touch him more, to find out if he’s as broad and solid as is large frame suggests, if that jawline would feel as strong under your fingertips as it looks, and if his deep brown eyes would soften before you press your lips against his. No wedding ring either, you note in the back of your mind, sending another surge of excitement through you.

The fact that he seems old enough to be your father, something that your therapist would probably have a few words to say about, is only adding to the arousal that’s coursing through your veins. You want him.

You almost jump when your drinks arrive in front of you; you had all but forgotten where you are, and that you’re very much in eyesight of your actual father. Suddenly, you feel silly, reality catching up to you. Surely he was just being nice and you read way too much into it, making a fool of yourself.

“Well, I–I’ll see you around then.” You hastily grab your glass and are ready to make a run for it, when his large hand wraps around your elbow.

“Looking forward to it,” he purrs, before he takes the two beers off the counter in front of him.

Awkwardness slowly sets in when you start walking in the same direction, but it doesn’t fully hit you until you both stop at the same table, your father beaming up at you.

“Sweetheart, you already met Dave I see, that’s great. Come, sit!”

You’re frozen, stupidly blinking between your father and the man beside you a few times. The man who introduced himself as David.

David. Dave. Oh. Oh.

“Y–yeah,” you stutter out eventually and plaster a smile on your face as you take a seat beside your dad. David looks just as dumbstruck as you feel when he slides into the chair opposite from you, quietly handing one of the beers over to your dad. His friend.

Your father launches into a story about their army days together and you’re nodding along, but not one word actively registers in your brain. The conversation eventually moves on to your dad’s recent work projects, the majority of the talking done by him, with the occasional question from David, while you’re silently sipping on your drink.

The initial embarrassment of the whole situation makes you want to sink down into the ground, but still you can’t keep your eyes from flicking to David again and again. They linger on his lips, constantly in a pout that you would give anything to feel against yours, the slight shadow of stubble on his cheeks at the end of the day that you know would scratch against your skin so deliciously, the way his hand dwarfs his beer on the table, thick fingers that could stretch– No. No, you’re not going there.

Your cheeks are burning and you stare down at the tabletop in front of you.

When your gaze lifts back up, David’s eyes are already trained on you, glinting like he knows exactly what you’ve been thinking about. You reluctantly look back at your father, who’s still rambling on about some big client that he’s currently dealing with, completely oblivious to the charged energy between his friend and you.

David shifts in his seat and his leg bumps against yours under the table. You grasp your drink tighter, forcing yourself not to react in any way, but you don’t move away either. Neither does he. You shoot him a look and the hint of a smirk plays around his mouth. He looks too damn good like this, so excitingly wrong in a way that makes your pulse flutter.

It feels like you’re burning up from inside and as little attention as your dad is paying to you, you’re certain that he’s gonna notice that something is off with you eventually. You hastily scramble to your feet and excuse yourself to the bathroom. You feel David’s eyes on you as you walk away until you’re out of sight.

The cool water that you run over your wrists and splash onto your cheeks does a poor job of calming you down. Stupid, stupid, stupid, you admonish yourself. It’s certainly not more than a tiny bit of flirting to him, if at all, just some harmless fun to amuse himself probably, and you’re getting this worked up about it.

No. You need to get out of this situation. You’re gonna walk back out there, make something up about a headache and catch a cab home. It will probably earn you a lecture about politeness later in the evening, but you’ll gladly take that.

When you approach the table again, your dad is just getting off his phone, his expression already far away. You know that look all too well, being subjected to it almost daily.

“Work emergency?” you ask, without a real question behind your words.

“Yeah,” he grumbles, getting up, barely looking at you, already all business. “Sorry, I gotta get to the office, Dave will drive you home. Right, Dave?”

Your eyes fly to David and you catch him swallowing hard, but he nods regardless, lips quirking up in a forced smile. “Of course.”

You both silently watch your father’s retreating back, already speaking into his phone again. The fabric of Dave’s pants ghosts against your bare leg below the table once more. You wish it were his fingers instead.

You hadn’t anticipated to be alone with him and all the reasonable thoughts that you’ve come up with in the privacy of the bathroom are wiped from your mind. It feels like you’re buzzing, a rush of excitement thrumming through your veins, like your body knows that you’re on the brink of doing something really stupid and really fucking tempting.

“I’m sorry, about earlier,” you murmur, looking up at him through your lashes. He smirks, a knowing glint in his eyes as he takes in your expression. He still hasn’t moved his leg.

“I don’t think you are.”

Your stomach swoops at his words. You bite your lip. He wouldn’t be acting like this if he didn’t want you, would he? His eyes dart to your lips at the movement and darken. Fuck it.

“No, I’m not.” You pray that he doesn’t catch the slight tremble in your voice. He’s fucking intimidating and this is wrong on so many levels and you want him so badly to want you.

The tension between you is a palpable thing, almost making it hard to breathe when he leads you out of the club, his hand at the small of your back and causing you to shiver. Will he really just drive you home? Will he say something, do something, touch you more? You don’t know how to ask for any of it and desperately wish that he’ll take the reins, that somehow he already knows what you want. You have a feeling that he does.

He opens his car door for you, another thing that really shouldn’t affect you this much, before he walks around the vehicle and gets in beside you. You catch a hint of his cologne in the confined space and press your thighs together before you can stop yourself. Your heart is racing and you just know that he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

He clears his throat. “We gotta stop at my place, I have some paperwork that I’d like your–” He interrupts himself, his grip on the steering wheel tightening until his knuckles are white, “that I’d like Jim to look over for me.”

You nod, a small hum leaving your throat. The implication of going to his place has you reeling. He nods back, stealing a glance at you before he starts the car. You can’t help watching him as he drives, the subtle control that he exudes, the way the muscles on his thighs are flexing underneath the fabric of his pants. He looks over at you a few times, and you don’t have it in yourself to pretend that your eyes aren’t glued to him.

“See something you like?” he asks eventually, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Yeah,” you answer, so breathless it’s embarrassing and you shift a little in your seat. Your dress rides up at the movement, revealing more skin, and his eyes fly down instantly.

“Me too,” he rasps.

When he stops the car in front of his building, you decide that it’s time to be brave.

“Do you want me to come up with you?”

“No,” his answer comes instantly. His tone isn’t cold, but determined, not to be argued with.

“Oh.” Your cheeks are heating up again. You hate how small your voice sounds. “I thought–”

He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, avoiding your gaze.

“I can’t. You’re– You know why. You know I can’t.”

“I don’t care. I’m an adult, I can do what I want.”

He shakes his head, still not looking at you.

“Sweetheart, stop. Trust me, I want to, but–”

“Please?” You’re begging, no dignity left in you, only want want want. “Just one time. Please, David?”

His eyes fly up to your face at that. You can see the shift, the way his expression hardens, turning into something feral that has heat growing between your legs.

“Just one time,” he repeats, his voice dark with desire, no longer trying to conceal it.

His hands find your thighs, grabbing at you roughly, moving you until you’re in his lap, legs spread wide, his breath fanning against your lips. One hand is in your hair, the other gliding under the hem of your dress, his touch turning you into a trembling mess.

“This is what you want?” he growls, the grip in your hair tightening. You don’t think that you’ve ever wanted anything as much as this.

“Please,” you whine again, and he presses forward, lips clashing against yours, the kiss all tongue and teeth and desperate need and you’re melting into him.

“Fuck,” he breathes, his hands all over you now, grabbing at your dress, your skin, any place he can reach.

Your mouth travels over his cheek and down to his neck, sucking kisses and bites into his skin. The stubble scratches against your face just like you thought it would and you start working on the buttons of his shirt with trembling fingers, rolling your hips, desperate for friction. His grip steadies you, pulling down the neckline of your dress, kissing along the lace of your bra before he pulls the cups down too. A groan rises up in his throat as he cups your tits, thumbs circling over your already hardened nipples before he leans forward and sucks one into his mouth.

“Fucking perfect,” he rasps, breath hot against your damp skin. You arch into his touch and he chuckles, sucking on the bud again before he bites down, eliciting a loud moan from you. His touch travels up your thighs, leaving a burning trail behind, until his fingertips rub over the soaked fabric of your panties and you gasp at the barely-there touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he coos, pressing down harder. “Already dripping for me, huh? You want it that bad?”

You nod eagerly, pushing down onto his fingers.

“Alright.” He sounds just as wrecked as you feel. He starts undoing his belt buckle and his pants and you lift up just enough to allow him to shove them down his hips.

At the first glance at his cock, your mouth falls open, a silent breath escaping you. He’s big, certainly the biggest you’ve ever had, and maybe you should think about how you’ll take all of him inside of you, but you find yourself craving him, craving the stinging stretch, craving the feeling of being as close as possible to him.

“Don’t worry.” He seems mildly amused, catching your lips in another kiss. “We’ll make it fit.”

Another shudder runs through your body at this. “I’m not worried,” you admit in a whisper.

He laughs at that, a breathless sound that you instantly want to hear again.

“Good.”

He pulls your underwear to the side and thrusts one thick finger up into your slick heat without warning. His thumb rubs around your clit and you already feel an orgasm creeping up on you. He adds a second finger, his rhythm relentless, and you cry out, grabbing his shoulders, trying to steady yourself, but it’s pointless. You’re already clenching, so close to the edge, when he pulls out of you and fixes you with a hard glare.

“Not yet. You’re only gonna come on my cock tonight, understood?”

You want to scream, want his fingers back, but you realize that you also want this authority, want him to take control, to take whatever he wants from you. It’s a heady feeling, one that you’ve never experienced before, but you’re already desperate for more.

“Okay,” you agree, and his responding smirk is enough for another wave of wetness to gather between your legs.

With one steadying hand securely on your hip, he leans over to the glovebox, mumbling about protection, but you stop him, fingers looping around his wrist.

“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean, I promise. You don’t need–”

He leans back, the grip on your hip tightening again.

“Fuck sweetheart, are you sure?”

You nod quickly, another “please” falling from your lips.

The grin on his face is downright feral as he hikes your dress up higher, eyes raking over your body. You’re sure that you look a mess, all intimate parts of you on display, your skin damp with sweat, your hair a wild nest. You curl in on yourself a little, but David won’t have any of that.

“Hey,” he growls, fingers digging into your thighs. “If I’m gonna do this, you’re gonna look at me and beg for it, are we clear?”

You lift your head, wide eyes searching his. Desperate to do what he asks, desperate for his approval. He’s gorgeous in the low lights, his cheeks flushed, a thin sheen of sweat covering his face and chest.

“Please,” you whine. “Please David, I need you.”

His movements turn frantic at your words, moving you around until you’re positioned just above him, your panties pulled to the side, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance, already soaking him.

“Just one time?” he rasps once more.

“Just one time,” you agree. You’d agree to anything right now.

He pulls you down slowly, beginning to part your walls. You whine loudly at the stretch. It burns, but you relish in the feeling of getting filled by him, and his responding groan has your lips pulling up in a smile.

You keep sinking down, moving until he’s completely sheathed inside you and your eyes fall shut at the overwhelming sensation. His fingers are on your chin in an instant, giving your head a light shake.

“Nuh-uh, eyes right here, sweetheart,” he reminds you, gritting the words out. He twitches inside you and you force your eyelids to open again.

“Feels so good,” you whine, your voice reduced to a broken, breathless thing, but then he starts moving and you’re not able to form words any longer.

He rolls his hips up into you and you meet his thrusts with your own movements, clinging to his shoulders for dear life. His hands are everywhere, digging into your hips, pinching your nipples, gripping your chin whenever your eyes are starting to slip closed again.

So you keep your gaze obediently on him, your eyes locked, delighting in the way his face scrunches up in pleasure, in the sounds that are falling from his lips, matching your own.

“Good girl, taking me so fucking well,” he groans, his hand connecting with your ass in a light slap. An obscenely loud moan escapes you in response and you clench around him, more wetness covering his length and your thighs.

He stills and leans back to take in your heated face and blown pupils, an amused smirk forming on his face. “You liked that, huh?”

You nod, once again unable to meet his eye.

“Hey,” he demands, his fingers grabbing your face again. “Eyes on me, remember?”

Your gaze reluctantly trails up and his smirk grows.

“So…” he drawls, slowly picking up his thrusts again, “what exactly did you like, huh? When I called you a good girl… or when I did this?”

He smacks your ass again and you grind down onto him almost instinctively. You’re burning up in shame, but you obediently hold his gaze.

“B–both,” you whisper, in disbelief that you’re admitting this to him, but you feel too good to hold back now.

“Fuck,” he growls, his movements speeding up and his grip on your hips bordering on painful, “knew you were a dirty little thing.”

Another slap lands on your skin, harder than before, at the same time that he thrusts deep into you. The combined sensations are enough to throw you over the edge that you had been teetering on since he first touched you and you scream out his name as you fall apart.

He holds your shaking body close, cock grinding into you as you pulse around him and he groans, burying his face in your neck, spilling his own release deep inside of you.

“Fucking perfect,” he whispers, mouth pressing against your skin. “Can’t believe that you let me–”

You barely make out the words, ecstasy still coursing through your veins, but you lean into him, holding onto his broad shoulders, feeling like his body is the only real thing in your world right now.

You stay like this, entangled in each other’s embrace until your breaths even out and he carefully lifts your face, pressing one more kiss against your lips. It hits you suddenly, that this might be the last kiss that you share with him. Just one time, right?

He helps you to properly put your clothes back on, supporting your weight as you slink back into the passenger seat, before he pulls his pants back on and jogs up to his apartment to gather the paperwork for your father.

Your father. His friend. Fuck. Now that the lust-induced haze has lifted a bit and you’re able to think more clearly again, the weight of tonight’s events starts crashing down on you. He would kill you. He can’t know, no one can.

Dave returns within minutes, his brow furrowed as he takes you in. You think that he clocks the growing panic that is probably written all over your face. He reaches for your hand, slowly enough that you could retract it if you wanted to, but you long for his touch, for the reassurance of it.

“You alright?” he asks softly.

“Yeah.” You nod, trying to convince yourself as much as him.

He nods back, not prying, which you are grateful for, and starts the car, making his way over to your house. Your hand still clasped in his. Both your release and his pooling in your panties.

You only let go of him when he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine. You don’t think that your dad checks the footage from the security cameras regularly, but it’s a risk that you’re not willing to take.

“Thank you,” you mumble, once again unable to meet his eyes. “I– I had a great night.”

He smiles, appearing more relaxed than he’d been all evening.

“Me too, sweetheart. Good night.” You feel his eyes on you as you walk up to the door.

You shower, reluctantly washing away all traces of the evening and crawl into bed. You still feel his hands on your skin, the sensation following you into your dreams.

When the morning comes, hushed promises of just one time echo in your head, but the desire to do it again, for more, is burning through your body, consuming your thoughts.

“Hey Dad,” you ask, stepping into his office where he’s brooding over documents, “I think I left my jacket in Dave’s car, could you give me his number? Maybe I can go pick it up.”

if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending in an ask – it’s really the thing that keeps writers going :)

[kraviolis]

i told y’all. i told y’all i was gonna go crazy over this post made by @gummy-goat-galaxy​

full disclosure i drew literally all of this before looking into the details of the AU so this is 70% my interpretation of his original post but i need to explain my thought process so. here’s the post explaining the details of the actual AU!!! and below is what my brain made up on the spot

ok so belos finds tiny child luz and is like “fuck everyone. this is mine now” and treats her like a goddamn princess. to him, she is a Gift From God to remind him to stay on his Righteous Path. an innocent little girl who is just so bubbly and always tries to see the good in everything, including him. she is a reminder of how Pure and Good humanity is, and seeing as though she’s the literal only human he’s had any contact with besides caleb in 400 fucking years, he is never letting the demon realm corrupt her like it did to him.

she’s basically his Lamb and he the Shepherd, and because he’s so desperate to keep her “““pure”““ he strictly keeps her within the castle and even then not all of the castle is available to her. he keeps her contact with witches to an absolute bare minimum.

he entrusts her protection specifically to hunter, despite the fact he’s only 2 years older. his reasoning is “caleb did a pretty good job raising me so this’ll be fine probably.” when belos himself cannot keep an eye on her, it’s hunter’s job. luz and hunter end up being raised in a sorta similar situation to catra & adora from she-ra but they are actually siblings and not just best friends.

(if u havent seen she-ra, basically its their abusive caretaker creating a golden child + scapegoat dynamic, where one kid can do absolutely no wrong (which doesnt mean they cant still be abused/manipulated!!) while the other kid is blamed for literally everything that goes wrong. the caretaker also regularly pits them against each other to encourage competition & keep the all power in the caretaker’s hands.)

similar to catra & adora, the whole competition thing doesnt really work. luz is just too damn kind and too damn good for hunter to ever resent her, and she’s all he really has. because hunter is the scapegoat, he grows wise to belos’s manipulations WAY sooner. it’s easier to figure out when you’re being mistreated when you literally watch ur guardian treating ur sibling so much better than how they treat u.

unfortunately, because luz cannot help but see the good in absolutely everyone and can be empathetic to a fault, she doesnt realize belos’s game until she ends up sneaking out of the castle. she actually really loves belos and is thankful for him taking her in for a long time. she calls him uncle like hunter, despite belos nudging her towards seeing him as a father bcus he sees her as a pseudo-daughter. (but luz remembers her dad, and has no desire to replace him with someone else no matter how much she cares for belos)

belos does love & adore luz, he would do almost anything to keep her happy and “innocent” and “pure”, but not to the extent that he could still end up redeemed. he still manipulates & subtly emotionally abuses her to keep her in line, but it’s only when she sneaks out and meets eda the owl lady does she start getting clued into this. and once luz learns what belos has done to hunter it’s all fucking over.

hunter loves luz. she is his sister and always will be. but while he’s stuck to belos because of his duties as golden guard, she sees how green the grass is on the other side and doesn’t even hesitate to hop over there. watching her slowly grow more and more distant while she keeps sneaking out to visit with her new friends (eda, king, willow, gus, amity, etc.) is one of the most painful things hunter has had to deal with.

he feels betrayed at first, as if luz is replacing him with other people who arent broken like he is, and when luz actually leaves for good- belos lies to the public and says she was kidnapped- hunter is the one who leads the hunt to find her and bring her back home safely. when they confront each other, luz tries to do her whole dramatic speech about how wrong belos is and how he’s been lying their whole lives, but hunter already knows. the only reason he stayed was for luz, but she couldnt even stay from him? it fuckin hurts man.

they end up on opposite sides for a minute. hunter gains no satisfaction from trying to ruin this new life she’s found for herself but goddamnit, he has a job to do. he cant just defect. and then he defects after watching belos try to kill luz because she’s let herself become corrupted by the witches.

thats about all my brain got for this so far. TL;DR basically just listen to the “first time in forever” and “mother knows best reprise” and “broken crown” by mumford & sons and thats pretty much the gist of it.

[55sturn]

Hey!!!! Do you think you could do a husband/dad Matt headcanons???

✮ HUSBAND + DAD!MATT WHO…/ HEADCANONS

BF!MATT who was so nervous to propose, he takes you back to the place you had your first date in boston, it was not your first official date overall, but it was the first one you had in his honetown after you met his parents a year prior, the same night his mom gave him her engagement ring.

the two of you were sitting on a bench at some park late at night, just talking about everything and cuddling, and he just blurts it out because he can’t wait any longer, he’s not on one or anything, just sitting there beside you.

“marry me.” “w-what?” “i’ve got a ring in my pocket right now and i’ve had it for a year, i’ve carried it around for a year straight because i’ve been wanting to ask you since the second my mom gave me the ring the night you met her. you are the person i want to spend my life with, my family adores you, i adore you, there’s no better match for me, so marry me?” “you’d be an idiot if you think i’m saying no.”

and the second you two get back to his parents house, he’s waking up his brothers and telling them you said yes.

FIANCÉ!MATT who doesn’t want a big wedding, but he is willing to give you whatever you want because he has already and will forever dedicate his life to making you happy.

FIANCÉ!MATT who settles for a small-ish wedding with close friends and family in the backyard of his parent’s cape cod house.

FIANCÉ!MATT who decides chris and nate are going to be his best men and he asks nick to get ordained so he can play an equally as important part in the wedding.

HUSBAND!MATT who the second you two are officially husband and wife and in your way for your honeymoon, he’s doing the cheesy movie scene and carrying you through the door way.

HUSBAND!MATT who is such an acts of service husband, like he’s doing everything you want and ask for.

HUSBAND!MATT who 100% gets cheesy mr and mrs. monogrammed mugs and dishes for you both.

HUSBAND!MATT who cries when he finds out your wedding gift to him, which, with the help of his family, is his own vacation home in vermont.

HUSBAND!MATT who gifts you your own house to raise a family with him in.

DAD!MATT HEADCANONS

DAD!MATT who knows you’re pregnant before you even tell him, he tracks your periods and everything and has your cycle memorized so when he sees that your box of tampons/pads is unopened underneath the sink two weeks after your period was due, alarms are going off in his bed because he’s sure you should’ve used majority of them by now.

DAD!MATT who and picks up a couple tests for you, and places them on the table in front of you and you’re shocked that he’s aware because you had only just started suspecting that you were pregnant.

DAD!MATT, who the second you see the positive test, is pulling you into such an intense kiss, one so full of love and passion that you have to pull away to breathe and then you’re joking “be careful a kiss like that is what got us here.”

DAD!MATT who when you guys find out the gender, you also find out that you’re having two twin girls and is so unbelievably happy.

DAD!MATT who wanted to do a big surprise when you guys’ visit his family back in boston but matt being matt, he accidentally tells them so casually in the middle of dinner that his mom chokes on her water and is like “wait what?”

DAD!MATT who is buying every tiny pink thing he sees, you’ll tell him that the babies don’t need another pink pacifier because you’ve already got a drawer full and he’s like “i don’t care i’m buying it for them.”

DAD!MATT who, just like chris, had his brothers help put all the furniture together while you’re out because matt doesn’t want you do anything heavy lifting.

DAD!MATT who is extremely overprotective of you.

DAD!MATT who will not hesitate to bitch someone out in public if they stare at you funny.

DAD!MATT who had to-go bags in the car before you found you were pregnant, they were packed and ready the moment you agreed to try for a family.

DAD!MATT who, the girls are born, is an emotional wreck, he’s just so in awe and love of what you did, of the fact that you carried and made life. he doesn’t acknowledge his part in it because he’s like “you did all the hard work.”

DAD!MATT who is wrapped around his daughter’s fingers.

DAD!MATT who struggles to say no to them all the time.

DAD!MATT who is so protective of all his girls.

DAD!MATT who raises them to not take any disrespect because he girls deserve the best.

DAD!MATT who also sets the standard for what kind of partner the girls should be with.

DAD!MATT who is so supportive everything they choose to do.

[queenofallimagines]

Hiori yo x black reader

(A/N): was literally complaining bc like how is he black but there’s NO black readers??? But I found out who’s clogging up the blue lock tag😒And then I realized I can do it my fucking self lmao. HC him as Nigerian bc like we’re never gunna get any cultural background info on him bc they never tell us about the parents(unless it’s central to their backstory and even then they’re the main characters not their parents.) so I’m making up my own lore✨ his dad is Nigerian who immigrated to Japan and hiori very rarely sees his dads side of the family bc they live elsewhere and his parents don’t care about him knowing family he’s supposed to be their trophy

Hiori yo:

- okay so boom

- This happens in his blue lock era obviously

- His parents rarely let him play w kids bc he was always training if you peep in the manga

- Only has some idea of some form of cultural heritage

- He was blessed cursed with only his mothers genetics so looking more like her has him skirt around a lot of that racism

- He probably makes friends with all the other mixed kids but gets viscerally uncomfortable when he sees them getting micro-aggressed

- Makes him think twice about showing up to school with his hair not styled like his mom

- Spends 90% of his time gaming anyway so like he doesn’t have to go outside

- When he runs away to blue lock life starts to have color

- I think post U-20 arc he spends those two weeks at home hanging out with karasu because he’s not gunna let him sit inside and rot around his shitty parents for two weeks

- Karasu definitely introduces you to him

- You were one of his friends from school he used to chill with and he’s like you would be good for hiori

- Karasu 100% condones your bad influence like lmao he wants to see hiori be a MENACE to society

- He’s smirking in the background as you bring his inner ultra sadist out

- He messes up your hair and will laugh when you get mad

- “stoooop iiiiit you’re messing up my hair!”

- “aww does the princess not like their hair being touched?”

- “Not when I took a long time to do it this morning!”

- Will immediately get flustered if you say you like his hair

- hide the flat iron from him!!

- I feel like he’s lowkey insecure about usually being like the only black kid in the room

- And he speaks in a different accent than a lot of them?

- Yeah pack it up!

- *he doesn’t really think much of his appearance. he thinks he looks okay and he isn’t really confident about his skin complexion. he isn’t dark skin but he isn’t light skin either.*

- His chat Ai gave me that unprompted so it’s canon now sorry :/

- Yknow how boys will say the most traumatic shit out of nowhere?

- “do you really think that I’m pretty? even my skin complexion and everything?”

- “I sure do! Anyone who says differently is a colorist racist loser . There’s nothing wrong with you or your completion. Like you’re one of the only people who made me feel welcomed here are you fr?”

- Karasu is glaring at you though for having him make pale people jokes.

- He’s very lowkey about how snake like he is so he’s the “you can’t say that shit in public!” Friend, while you don’t care about getting cancelled😭

- “but please don’t let anyone the shade of printer paper make you feel bad about your melanin beloved.”

- “The snow roaches are usually too scared to try something because I’m tall:/“

- “WE ARE IN A CONNIVENCE STORE PEOPLE CAN HEAR YALL”

- he’s trying his best really but he’s just one crow😔

- Don’t let tea about his parents make it back to your ears bc it’s really on sight for that man AND that snow bunny 😡

- “Does your dad ever like talk to you about his culture?? does he say anything outside of trying to make you into some star striker??”

- Mf just shrugs his shoulders.

- “not really. my parents don’t care about anything other than my success. they don’t care about my happiness or how i feel..”

- “Yo, baby ….. imma beat your parents ass😐 is your dad Nigerian? Bc that feels like textbook immigrant parent behavior.“

- “……. I REALLY don’t like how you knew that.”

- “My next guess would have been Guyanese.”

- Hes giggling tho bc I don’t think he really talked shit about his parents w nobody like REALLY really

- Just watching them fight 24/7 as a kid took a toll on my poor baby soul IK

- Spoiler for his backstory but I mean not really??

- His parents saying that if he didn’t become the best they would get a divorce made my jaw hit the stairs of hell

- ““you really know a lot about this kinda stuff?,,,,but yeah, nigerian parents are hella strict. they expect high grades from us and if we don’t reach those high grades, we’re basically disowned..”

- See me personally I have tattoos, colored hair and piercings and my mom fresh off the banana boat carribean

- “Like Dr umar said “you will be never get freedom unless you take it” It’s like a hostage situation!”

- “Is that how you have them long ass acrylics?”

- “….I took it😙”

- He will never bring you home bc you’re always 5 mins from punching his mom in the mouth and he really cannot handle that especially when he’s gone 24/7 in blue lock and can’t talk to you

- They don’t know you but know you’re a bad influence so they hate you from afar

- Very pro “traumatize your parents back” and karasu right there w you

- He’ll he can even scoop up yukumiya to be on demon time👀

- “hit em with the “what if I stop soccer?” And they have nowhere to run but just sit there seething because they need you.”

- “Right the cards are in your hands.”

- “…..Respectfully love, you’re a whole ass delinquent and karasu you’re a scammer. I’m not taking advice from people with active warrants😐”

- Now back on my bullshit

- He be so fine when he use metavision

- Like he knows that if he glances over at you during one of his games he’s gunna find you squirming in your seat

- Looks at you after he scores a goal every time and flashes you that shit eating grin

- Win or loose he’s getting his dick wet!!

- Have a safe word

- He’s never gunna try to push you past your limits in a way that will hurt you

- Buuuuut he is pretty mean

- Imagine that cute innocent looking face smiling down at you with his round doe eyes

- Calling you a dumb slut

- Man is a menace and probably gets a higher sex drive the more he fucks

- Not even out of like lust overtaking him he just will be randomly thinking about how he had you on your knees in this very locker room before

- And now feels the strong urge to split you open on his cock

- It’s fun for him like a game

- And he always wins

- Only way you can get him is to outsmart him but like that’s once in a blue moon so good luck Charlie😅

- Mans is 6”1 so he’s effortlessly manhandling you and giggling at how much your body is screaming for him

- “Shit, ya keep squeezing me like that and I won’t be able to pull out.”

- Again because he dosent have a high libido as a carnal thing certain NORMAL shit will set him off

- Like you was talking about the weather now he has you bent over the couch??

- Nicknames would be one

- You call him blueberry and he’s ready to go

- The cute look on your face and the smile he can see that’s reserved for him

- The way he can same the hearts in your eyes when you look at him

- He wants to ruin you and make you cry

- Edging is his go too thing

- Will do it until your grabbing at his hands begging him to let you come and he’s laughing his ass off

- “Why? ‘S real funny seeing you this pathetic.”

- He’s very mean in that soft sweet condescending way that pisses you off

- “Ow! Yo that hurt!”

- “Mmm, don’t care.”

- Bites you all over like you’re a chew toy

- Feel like he’s tied with rin and shidou for leaving marks

- He’s a cheeky little bastard so he will have you in public looking like a mess and he couldn’t be more innocent standing right next to you

- “You good?”

- “Yeah,karasu I’m fine.”

- “You sure because you’re limping right now.”

- And this fucker is there like ☺️☺️☺️

- Weakness is distracting him while gaming

- He’s very whiney if you suck him off while he’s gaming and has vc on

- Like he’s barely holding back his whimpers and wines as you’re head is buried between his thighs

- (Rin , nagi and him def game like I know they play Minecraft together)

- “Oi, hiori you okay? You’ve been pretty quiet.”

- “M good.”

- He is fighting for his sanity!!

- Has locked the door a few times to keep you out

- Accidentally left the mic on when he thought the coast was clear and came HARD

- Rin will never EVER bring that shit up and is taking that secret to the grave

- Does get flustered when he sees you and hiori not-so-subtly sneaking off to have your hands all over each other

- Keeps that memory square in the back of his head to jack off to

- Hiori Yo is a very sadistic man with a lot of confidence

- So he has absolutely no qualms about fucking you in front of his teammates in the locker room

- Oh, the team walked in on him blowing your back out? Nothing is stoping them from showering and changing

- Shares you with isagi like that’s just what happens

- He wants to see the egoist be mean to you

- This has happened more than once and bastard München straight up knows if he’s nowhere to be found when they are heading back to the locker rooms

- He’s in there making you cry on his cock

- “Cmon, tell em how much you like creaming around my cock dollface.”

- Particularly of Kaiser is kicking attitude he’ll glare at him while you’re on your knees and dare him to try something

- Oh he don’t care about doing it in the pxg locker rooms either

- Shidou has unfortunately walked in on him sitting beside you on the ground pushing your head down so you can take Rin’s cock even deeper

- “Ne, Rin-Chan. Look at how I can see you in their throat.”

- Hiori if anything isn’t going to play by the rules or be fair about it

[castianii]

my Ninjago headcanons!!!!

Kai

• Is TikTok famous. He likes to put his camera in everyone’s face while they do normal everday things then says “ooh this is perfect, everyone will love this!!” and then everyone does love it.

• Spends most of his time trying to annoy his teammates. He finds it funny how easily Nya gets ticked off, so he annoys her most often. ex) going into her room and just singing really loud.

• Thinks Tarayummy is his soulmate. He sits in his room in the dark and just watches her videos. He has a hatred for every man she has ever talked to.

Nya

• Says she hates dressing up/wearing dresses, but at night she secretly puts on pretty ball gowns she hides in boxes in her closet. (I do this)

• Loves art, but she mostly paints. She picked it up after seeing the paintings Jay did after seabound. He taught her a lot of it.

• Anytime she sees a friend or someone she knows out in public she has to talk to them. It’s like when you were little and your mom/dad saw someone at the store and they just had to talk to them forever. She does that.

Zane

• There’s a desk in his room with the most random junk on it. He doesn’t even know where most of it came from. This junk varies from model airplanes to defused pipe bombs.

• He’ll give himself weird accents sometimes. If he’s bored he will just put on a new accent and talk to the others to see their reactions. One time he did a Russian accent that scared Jay so much he peed his pants.

• He could watch those videos of dancing fruit for hours. He just loves brain rot, and that’s okay because it keeps him busy.

Cole

• Religiously watches edits of himself of TikTok. Once he accidentally reposted one and everyone lost their mind.

• Thinks Halo by Beyoncé is the greatest song ever written. It’s the only song he will sing in front of other people and he will put his whole heart and soul into it every time.

• Likes to skateboard, but doesn’t have enough time. He thought it would be a fun hobby to pick up before he was a ninja and actually got really good at it. He isn’t as good now, but he can still do some tricks.

Jay

• This man is so zesty oh my god. Everyone in Ninjago thought he was gay until he got together with Nya. There are still people who think it’s all just an act to cover it up.

• If this guy sees a river he is getting in. It doesn’t matter if it’s 10 or 80 degrees, this man is ready to jump in any river he sees. He tries to get everyone else to join, but they aren’t as stupid (except Cole who obviously has to join him)

•Watches Instagram reels instead of TikTok. He thinks they’re funnier, and Kai thinks that it’s the funniest thing in the world and never shuts up about it.

Lloyd

• A lot of people think this, but I think that he bleach’s his hair. He doesn’t want to look anything like his dad, and he thinks his dark hair makes him look evil.

• Also likes art, but mostly draws. He likes to do art with Nya, but picked it up when he was younger. He used to make his own comic books about the ninja in S1.

• Wants to be a theater kid so bad, but he has to focus on his ninja work. He’s made everyone watch Hamilton at least 5 times (so far).

I have other headcanons about a lot of other characters, and more about these guys if you’re interested.

[erwinsvow]

I know this isn’t the usual speed around here but slightly pathetic whimpery s1 Rafe is to die for!! He’s obviously cocky and entitled but it’s in a more spoiled and almost bratty way so he throws his little temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way… I think s1 has seriously overlooked toxic Rafe potential

- 💓

wait i know im allllll about season 2 rafe like hes loml seriously but i just started rewatching season 1 and i dont like his hair lol but hes so toxic and gross. i know everyone on here has been talking more about him and like fratboy rafe and i usually refrain but something about being his gf through all of season 1..... im hornee.

in particular im thinking of like how he acts so douchey with everyone in public but its so visible he has a huge soft spot for you.. waves you over when he's just hanging out with his friends to check in that you're doing okay, goes and gets you a fresh drink before giving you a kiss and sending you off back to ur friends.. makes some gross comment about how you were screaming for him in the back of his truck last night after you walk away... kelce is like bro. i always sit in the back.

you'd be lurking in his bedroom when he goes down to 'have a chat' with his dad, like when he gets yelled at about the generators. comes back all angry and literally folds you in half and fucks you until you cry because you are his favorite way to calm down <3 ... (i have no idea what the vibes on this blog are and i dont wanna make people mad but he gets so manipulative... esp if you're just like i don't feeling like fucking again right now or esp in public!!!! which he looooves.... starts going on a tangent about how he provides for you and takes care of you and he's the man of the house and if he needs to relax you should be on your knees already.... sorry omg if ur reading this n youre starting to hate me i apologize in advance. i never talk about scummy scummy rafe but hes real and hes so hot. fully wants you to be like a hyperactive horny bunny just waiting for his dick at all times.... i would 110% start doing it too... ANYWAYS)

he's so spoiled so he likes spoiling you with anything you want... most of the stuff he gets you is pretty much for him tho... gets hard because you wear an RC necklace.. lots of pretty lingerie and babydolls that he likes to rip up...handcuffs because duh.. it's almost always you in the handcuffs but every once in a while he can be convinced to get in them lol

but the temper tantrums are soooo real like especially if you're out with friends or made plans with your parents. like he seriously loves making you abandon your plans to come see him. but then youll show up and hes at a party and selling or ignoring you and ofc you cry because it's like he made you come here and not even giving you any attention... then he'll drag you out by your hair and fuck you SOOO mean in the back of his truck talkin about "just needed this dick, yeah? s'okay, dad's gonna give it to ya hard. then you'll be good as gold won'tya?" ugh. hes so mean.

im still in my rewatch but the scene where him and topper beat up pope:( this especially hits sooo hard w my pogue reader but i can just imagine that being the cause of your first real fight, like you're so upset he can be that cruel but there goes his manipulation tactics.. telling you he needs to be a proactive man to protect you and his friends and his turf. he's not letting anyone walk all over him, regardless if you like them or not. fucks you until you forget all about your pogue friends, and then you end up bandaging his bloody hand for him.

ooohh and when they go to that movie showing.. can just imagine curling up on a lawnchair with him under a blanket, him n the boys are on high alert for jj and pope but he keeps a tight arm around you, goes and gets you a soda and popcorn which you two share.. you don't want him to leave and you whine when he does.. can just imagine the scene where jj and pope turn back to look at him when kie tells them rafe is right behind them. rafe is staring so hard at them while ur tryna feed him a piece of popcorn. LOL

[heymeowmao]

2024.01.06 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324986957909590120

[t/n: wow, so laggy.]

1:10 LYN: Today we have an outdoors stream, a little like the last one. We’ll be taking everyone out to play, today. A special outing. LYN: Xiao Fang- Fang Yilun- has arranged a very cool itinerary for us. As for what it is, let’s go find out together. FYL: It’ll be Activities for Young Folk, mostly because we’ve been cooped up in Hengdian for too long. We have to be positive! LYN: We’re headed for the big city. FYL: Yes! We’re going to celebrate your birthday as an eighteen year old should! I’ll show you how an eighteen year old in Hangzhou should spend their birthday.

2:03 - LYN asking fans not to send presents, otherwise he can’t see the comments. LYN: You don’t need to wish me a Happy Birthday, either. Today isn’t my birthday- it’s on the 8th. - FYL laughing bc he’s thinking LYN’s fans don’t know when his b-day is, probably. LYN: It’s not my birthday today, but I probably won’t have any time on the 8th, so I thought I would have my “birthday stream” today. Of course, I would like to thank weibo and all of the friends who have come to my stream today to support me. LYN: I know the presents are free, but you don’t need to send them so aggressively. C: The sound is so small. LYN: WHAT?!? Seriously? Is the sound small? C: Can’t hear clearly. LYN: You can’t hear clearly? We’re wearing mics, and you can’t hear us clearly?? What are you talking about?! Let me test it. / You should be able to hear it…? C: We can hear FYL’s but not yours. FYL: Why don’t I switch with you? LYN: No, no. / You can hear clearly now? FYL: I was thinking, maybe I should switch with you? Because I have a loud voice. LYN: It has nothing to do with how loud your voice is- I have a loud one, too. - adjusting the mic position to see if that helps (it doesn’t).

4:20 LYN: Another thing- I just want to say. We just want to relax and wander around today, so if you figure out where we are, please don’t come to find us. Okay? Thank you. PLEASE don’t come to find us. If that happens, and we get surrounded we’re probably not going to able to stream and we’ll leave. Because these are public spaces, okay? Promise me. If you know where we are, please don’t come to find us. You’ll take cars by the droves and then come surround us like you’re watching monkeys in a zoo. That’s uncomfortable. Okay? I really hope you can let us have a smooth stream today. We have a lot of things planned, so we’ll probably stream into the night and through to midnight. FYL: Let us have our together time with just the two of us. LYN: Right, of course. But we’re also spending our time together with you in the stream.

5:15 LYN: Let’s go, then! FYL: We’re off. - masking up & LYN tells FYL he doesn’t have to have the camera on him while he does that. FYL: Okay, then I can only let you reluctantly see me. C: How handsome! FYL: Are you talking about him or me? FYL: !! Wait, what should we call each other when we’re out there? How about you call me Shisan? LYN: No, it’s ok. Anything’s fine. FYL: Just call you by your given name?? LYN: No, just like “Hey!”

6:30 - hallway FYL: I’m not that familiar with these parts anymore, but if it were 20 years ago- FYL: 20 years ago, I was really familiar with these parts. Because my dad used to be in the clothing business-foreign trade, so after my dad got off work he would pick me up from elementary school and we’d wander around here.

7:10 - elevator LYN: If the sound continues to be low, later we’ll just stop using the mics. We’ll just use the phone’s audio input. FYL: /looking at their reflection in the mirrors/ Wow, we’re so fashionable! We look like some sort of duo.

8:00 LYN: We’re heading directly there? To our first destination? FYL: Straight there. LYN: Is it a far walk? FYL: Not too far. 300+ meters. Do you think that’s far? LYN: No, it’s okay. FYL: If you think it’s far, we can also take a car there. XD - discussing methods of transportation

8:27 FYL: There are quite a lot of people by West Lake today. I was really afraid that it would be raining when you came, today. If it were raining, we’d be under an umbrella… then we can visit the Broken Bridge. [t/n: known for the love story between Xu Xian and the White Snake]

8:47 - still trying to troubleshoot the audio FYL: I still think I should switch with you. LYN: There’s no need. I’m closer to it than you are. FYL: No, it’s okay. - /switched mics/ FYL: Ask them how it is, now. Because I have a naturally loud voice, anyway. LYN: How is it now? Is it okay? / /to FYL/ You try. FYL: Hello, hello. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. LYN: Is it okay now? Ok. LYN: I’m sorry. As a singer, I can’t believe I’m not louder than an actor.

9:46 LYN: See. Earlier you said that there are a lot of people by West Lake, and now everyone knows we’re in Hangzhou. FYL: Oh no! LYN: It’s okay. It doesn’t make a difference.

10:48 LYN: It’s normal that it’s lagging. That’s the charm of a livestream. The charm is that it will lag. It’s random like that. LYN: Wow, there are really a lot of people. LYN: /seeing a comment/ You can’t hear Xiao Fang anymore? /deep sigh/ See. These things aren’t very reliable. FYL: Oh. Here- there are two... squirrels? LYN: Oh!! I see them. FYL: There, there! LYN: I see them! FYL: People will come to feed them.

- FYL listing all the things they could do, if they had more time. 12:44 LYN: Someone asked an embarrassing question: The two of you are walking along and no one has recognized you? LYN: No, it’s normal that they can’t. We’re not some big/very popular celebrities or anything. We’re just average. It’s not important. It’s better that they DON’T recognize us. - psa: please don’t come to find them - discussing where to go

C: I can tell that you’re handsome guys at a glance! LYN: No, no. He’s very handsome, but in real life I am very basic. FYL: Wow! If you say that, I’m gonna get cyber-bullied!! LYN: Pu Xin Nan. The “most trustworthy man in all the world.” (普天之下最适合信任的男人) FYL: The “most confident man in all the world.” (普天之下最有信心的男人) LYN: Yes! That’s also right.

14:20 - looking into how/where to buy tickets for the ferry 14:48 - lyn showing us all the people

14:57 FYL: You probably don’t have these in the North, right? LYN: What? FYL: They’re like… those insects that make noise? Guoguo (katydid)? LYN: Ququ (fighting cricket)? FYL: No, not ququ. LYN: Then, probably guoguo. FYL: Right- the ones that chirp. When I was little there were a lot of those around. And people selling flashlights and lanterns. I loved playing with those and had a row of them in my house.

LYN: The first time I came to Hangzhou it was the year I participated in Super Boy. FYL: In Hangzhou? LYN: Yeah. Me, from Dongbei, attended Super Boy in Hangzhou. But I didn’t even pass the auditions. FYL: No way. LYN. Yeah. Then I was pretty down and came around West Lake to wander.  FYL: Is it because the pool in Dongbei was too poor and you couldn’t prove yourself? LYN: No, it was because they’re too good! There’s the Shenyang Music Academy, there; and various music schools. But then when I got here I found out that the music academies here are even more impressive.

15:52 - got distracted by more squirrels and decides to show the stream bc he feels like there’s no content going on. [t/n: they’re cute and fat. (or is it because they are well fed?) the tails look shorter than those of squirrels around me. :p]

17:27 - found the line for the ferry. it’s super long, with about a 30 minute wait for the next one. LYN: Let’s find some place with less people to hang out, then. LYN: For our first stop he was planning to take me on a boat ride on the lake. How romantic is that? FYL: I just didn’t expect there to be so many people. LYN: That’s probably normal. But anyway… we’ll not go boat riding this time. FYL: It used to be that there were a lot of boats docked at the side, and it would be like catching a cab to get on one. FYL: I guess we’ll have to find a bench or something. LYN: Let’s look for somewhere with less people. We’ll have a chat.18:50 - FYL recalling how there used to be aluminum boats around that you could rent and steer yourself. (the ferry is more expensive.) FYL: A friend and I came to ride a boat, and we were trying to get to the middle of the lake. Have you ever ridden in an aluminum boat? LYN: No. FYL: We used up all of our strength to row to the island in the middle, and then we couldn’t row back. It was July and the sun was huge. I could see as clear as day as my friend started “frothing at the mouth.” He looked like he was being cooked silly, and I asked him, “Are you okay? You don’t have heatstroke, do you?” He just smiled back at me, and his lips were so white. LYN: When you’re young you just have to go all out.

20:00 - still looking for a less populated area to sit and chat LYN: Don’t send us any special effects- I can’t see the comments that way. There’s nothing planned- I just wanted to take you around, since I’m usually always streaming from home. It just so happened that FYL had time, so he agreed to keep me company. LYN: If you know where we are, please don’t come to find us. Thank you. If you really come then it would become a bit more troublesome. We just want to wander around. There are other places we’d like to go, as well.

21:28 - found a place to sit! FYL: Alright, then let’s make some of Hangzhou’s specialty. LYN: What is it? West Lake Dragon Well tea? FYL: Lotus Root Powder. LYN: Lotus Root Poweder??!

21:59 - C: The two of you, please explain what you meant by “HE” (happy ending of YNGS). LYN: They finally caught us. The fans of the drama have been trying to catch us for half a month, and they’ve finally got us. They need an explanation. 

LYN: What are you up to? FYL: I’m making the lotus root powder! LYN: Oh! / I’ll get it on camera for you. This looks like the way a fashionable young person would spend their days! FYL: Young people in Hangzhou spend their birthdays just like this! / How come it’s not coming out right? LYN: They come out and drink a bowl of porridge to start? FYL: It’s lotus root powder… LYN: I- OMG, is that drinkable?? FYL: It’ll definitely be good! No problem!! Trust me. Wait for me a second. 22:50 - FYL leaves to find some tools. LYN: /picks up the cup and jiggles it/ WHAT IS THIS??? How come it looks like the mucus that you’d spit out- Is this edible?? Eurgh. LYN: I don’t think we made it right. WE probably need some sort of tool. C: You need to mix it. LYN: He went to find a pair of chopsticks. C: Use your hand. LYN: Use my hand to mix it, then down it?? 23:45 - FYL came back, and LYN’s surprised that he found any tools. FYL: /picks the cup up to mix it/ Oh? How come it become one chunk? I’m going to dumo it and try again. FYL: Give me another chance!

C: How long will you stream for, Ning-ge? LYN: We don’t have a time limit or things that we need to do. We’ll stream for as long as we want to. FYL: I think I poured too much! It’s too thick, LYN: Right, maybe less? FYL: Does anyone know how much I’m supposed to use?? LYN: Why does this seem like the sauce we make in Dongbei? I’ve really never had lotus root powder before. FYL: It’s really good! C: Use boiling water. LYN: We are. FYL: It’s hot water. How can we use cold? FYL: Do you like it thinner or thicker? LYN: I’ve never had it before! Thinner, I guess? I don’t think I could get it down if it were thicker. LYN: There’s only one cap? FYL: No, there’s another one. C: Use cold water first. LYN: It’s okay. It’s fine like this, too. It works. / They said we need to use cold water to melt it first. FYL: Really? Then I’ll try it with the next one. LYN: Give me the small cup! I can’t take this much. FYL: Shit- Oh, sorry. I  think this is so romantic! LYN: Really? FYL: Yeah, don’t you think this is really romantic? LYN: It is, it is. FYL: Isn’t this better than sitting down and spending lots of money in a restaurant? Isn’t it more romantic? LYN: I don’t think it’s to that extent. I’d rather eat something from a restaurant. I don’t want to eat this! It’s weird! FYL: Oh my goodness, I think it’s so romantic. LYN: (abt the lotus root) Maybe it’s too little? FYL: It’s too thin. LYN: It’s too thin. Add some more. FYL: /pours some more starch/ Is that too much, now? LYN: It looks okay. It has the feeling of making cornstarch slurry. It doesn’t look like yours is working. FYL: ? Exactly how much of this powder am I supposed to put?? I think I failed again! Was that cold water method they told you about correct? LYN: Looks like cold water isn’t it. FYL: I think we should have just used the hot water directly. LYN: Yeah. FYL: Let’s try again. LYN: Again? Oh, no. We wasted some more of it. 

26:32 - fourth time’s the charm? LYN: This really looks like the cornstarch slurry. FYL: That should be the correct consistency. LYN: Sorry, friends. I even told you that I used to be a cook. We can’t even figure out how to make lotus root powder correctly! FYL: Look! Once we used hot water it came together! LYN: Right. That looks right. FYL: But it’s too hot, so maybe add some cold water? LYN: Cold water…? FYL: Yeah, it’s actually just warm. LYN: Won’t that… won’t that… FYL: Make chunks? LYN: It’s okay. It should be fine.

27:14 FYL: Wow, this is the first time in my life I’m making you a meal. LYN: Thank you. LYN: Are we one-shotting it? You go first. - FYL takes a sip & dies LYN: What’s wrong? Was it too hot? - FYL recovers, pours more of the cold water into his cup. (so yeah, it was hot.) FYL: You have a little. LYN: Yeah, I’ll have some. FYL: Wow. I burnt myself to death.

27:54 - cheers FYL: Drink it slowly. - LYN takes a sip & assesses the situation going on in his mouth LYN: It’s alright. A little bit better than what I was imagining.

- /keeps looking around/ LYN: Why do I feel like we’re doing something wrong?? I feel guilty. It’s as if we stole these bowls from somewhere. FYL: Like someone else made them and set them here, and we came and stole it? LYN: We should finish it and run. - /slurps and savors (?) it/ LYN: It’s alright. Like drinking porridge. FYL: This is a bowl of lotus root by West Lake. It’s not just any normal bowl of lotus root. LYN: Right, right. It’s West Lake Lotus Root. With the name attached it sounds much more expensive. FYL: We’re not drinking Lotus Root. We’re drinking in the feeling.

28:55 LYN: You all can hear us clearly now, right? It’s working? The sound isn’t small, right? If it’s not, then- (pans the camera to FYL) Explain to us what “HE” meant. FYL: How could you throw this question to me?? I guess we should answer it, though. But weren’t YOU the one who said it was an “HE”? LYN: No, I- Did I say it?? FYL: It was you! I explained it, though. Just as “河, 河, 河, 河”. LYN: Oh, it’s all in the river?

29:40 - FYL telling LYN that there’s a street some ways over, and there’s a very famous restaurant on that street. The building above that restaurant is currently showing huge YNGS posters. LYN: Thank you, YNGS.

30:10 C: DId you cry while watching the ending? FYL: I didn’t cry when watching myself. I cried for other people, though. FYL: I saw you crying for me, and cried. I’d never felt so sorry for myself. - /slurps the last of his lotus root/ LYN: I finished. It was okay. Nice and warm, a little like drinking porridge. FYL: The weather today is not that bad, either. LYN: Yeah. It’s been a long time since I came out just to sit, too. LYN: They’re saying that your sound is small. FYL: Is it small? - /making adjustments/ LYN: It’s our first time using this equipment, so we’re not good at it yet. 31:19 - FYL gets up to start cleaning up their stuff. LYN: Look. We came out today and Xiao Fang even brought a small suitcase. A very cute and pink color.

31:49 LYN: What day is it? Saturday? FYL: I don’t know. Actors don’t remember what day of the week it is. We only know the date. 

32:35 FYL: I feel a little sad. We didn’t get to accomplish the most romantic part of my plans for today. LYN: What were you planning? FYL: A boat ride on the lake. I brought a bluetooth speaker, and we would listen to 奉上. LYN: Seriously?? FYL: We’d listen to 奉上 on top of the West Lake. LYN: Oh.. that does sound quite romantic. It’s okay- let’s find a different spot. An empty alley somewhere no one else is. We’ll put the speaker on and sit on the ground. We can still listen to 奉上 and it will be a unique romantic experience nonetheless. 

LYN: Let’s go, then. Let’s find an alley! FYL: Like thieves, in an alley? FYL: Today is the first time I’ve learned that even benign romantic can be forced. XD - finding thier way back FYL: Why don’t we just listen to it in the car? LYN: That works!

34:00 - FYL asking LYN if he knows about this certain type of grass that grows on the West Lake. LYN asks if it was the grass that was floating on top of the water? They go to look at it and LYN says- “I think that’s just plain grass.” LYN: Do you want to fish some up and try it?

34:50 LYN: We’re a pair of Exploring Streamers. FYL: I think we’d be the first to find any adventure at West Lake. LYN: I don’t think there’s anything to explore. FYL: Do you think we’d be arrested if we were to actually fish the grass from the lake? LYN: I don’t think so. They wouldn’t arrest us for pulling up a couple pieces of grass. It’s not even worth the gas money. 

35:50 LYN: ! I think we should take pictures there! FYL: There are so many boats here now! Oh, but people still have to line up. LYN: Yeah, there are a ton of people over there. LYN: Let’s take pictures in turn. Stand over there and I’ll take a picture for you. They’ll (the viewers) will take a screenshot. LYN: Stand more by the edge! We came to see the West Lake, after all. LYN: !! You still want to hold that (the pink suitcase)?! - LYN’s turn for a pic. LYN: I want the suitcase, too! Oh, but I don’t want it to look like I have a collaboration with the brand. Then, forget it. - /changes his mind and grabs the suitcase anyway./ LYN: It’s okay. We don’t want it to be obvious that it’s us. It just serves as proof that we came. 

37:50 - Making their way back and finds someone shooting for a program and instatntly turns into a tour guide, introducing Xihu. LYN: You can take a boat ride and make lotus root powder. FYL: You can find an alley to listen to 奉上. LYN: I welcome everyone to come to Xihu on travel.

38:51 FYL: Did you go around Xihu the last time you came to Hangzhou? LYN: The last time? FYL: When you came here before. LYN: I did, once. That was many years ago. Maybe… 6-7 years ago? FYL: Did you ride the boat? LYN: I didn’t. I just wandered around and then went to visit Lingyin Temple. FYL: The first time I went to Lingyin Temple, I went alone and then I was scammed. I THOUGHT the temple I had gone to was Lingyin, but apparently there are a lot of different “Lingyin” temples. My friend had ended up fooling me. They told me it was THE Lingyin Temple, and I was fool enough to believe it.

40:04 FYL: Do you see it? LYN: What? FYL: /points/ LYN: Oh my goodness! FYL: I told you, it was huge!! LYN: Can you see something lighting up this street? LYN: WOW! Seriously?!? FYL: /laughing/ I told you!! LYN: Can you see this??? The highlight of this video frame?41:13 LYN: This wasn’t planned at all. We just happened to bump into it. LYN: Nice. It looks like YNGS (production) spent a fair amount of money. LYN: We should take a picture, here. Please screengrab it for us. Thanks!

43:04 LYN: Wow, this angle is so cool. Oh- it ended. I was planning to show the glass but then it turned into the metal. - /Commenting on how it’s difficult to park by West Lake, because all the parking is usually always taken up. But also that’s good, because it means that people are taking the time to enjoy it./

44:03 LYN: Hangzhou is really quite nice, though. Since we’re in Hengdian filming for long periods of time, sometimes I want to come to Hangzhou to eat delicious foods. Shop around, then return to Hengdian. Since it’s close by. - /commenting how Hangzhou is known as a food city, but how nowadays you can find any type/region of food from anywhere./

45:06 LYN: Right now we’re on our way towards the car, and then we’ll move on to the next destination. LYN: There’s nothing planned, though this sort of counts as my b-day stream. Most people spend it in a room, but I think that’s not much different from how I usually stream. That’s why I thought I would try something different today. LYN: I won’t be streaming on the 8th- I have filming. This counts as my birthday stream, alright? Also- it’s not like I celebrate my birthday, anyway. I’m already this old, what’s there to celebrate? But since you miss me, I still thought I should stream. - /got scared by a person/

----------

- /heading for the car (in the underground parking)/ - in the elevator, they comment on the weather (it’s warmer than usual), and FYL says he feels like he hasn’t seen properly ever since they went out- because the breathe from inside the mask is foggin up his sunglasses XD.

47:22 FYL: Do you have a signal? LYN: Yes! 5G! LYN: Someone complimented us, calling us two Handsome Brothers. FYL: We’re alright~ LYN: Just average~ Puxin Men. X’D The “most confident men in all the world.” (普天之下最有信心的男人)

48:05 C: A handsome pair of men, even though I can’t see clearly… LYN: You can’t see clearly but you’re still complimenting?

- FYL starts the car and LYN comments that it’s so loud it sounds like a tractor, lmao.

48:53 - FYL’s Lost His Phone?!? (he goes to check in the suitcase) LYN: We lost his phone. Oh, no. This is the charm of a livestream. You never know what’s going to happen. C: You were just taking pictures with it. LYN: Right. Right! He gave me his phone to take photos with! It’s in my pocket! /checks his pockets/ FYL: Weren’t we just taking pictures with it? LYN: Yeah. What happened after? LYN: Are you serious?? FYL: There’s no way, right? - /still checking his pockets/ LYN: Why don’t you call it? FYL: That’s so strange… LYN: Yeah! After we took pictures… we didn’t stop, right? We didn’t stop to sit somewhere? FYL: We didn’t stop anywhere. LYN: Call it. FYL: “It’s currently in use.” LYN: ?? What does that mean?? FYL: ! There’s a sound! OMG, that scared me to death! It fell to the side of the seat. It’s okay though, even it I did lose it. LYN: We found it. It was to the side of the seat. Look at our handsome driver. LYN: ! Seatbelt, seatbelt. 

51:26 LYN: Friends, we were making more scenes for ourselves. We pretended the phone was missing, so that the viewers might gain a sense of- FYL: They might go to where we were and look for it?? LYN: We designed a thrilling scenario so that everyone in the stream can be worried for the lost phone. In the end! What you didn’t expect was for us to find it right beside his seat! Too thrilling. FYL: How was our acting? Not bad, right? XD

52:20 FYL: Let me ask you- for the New Year’s stage, why did you cry? On the stage. LYN: Why did I cry? Because I’m a crybaby. FYL: Were you emotional? But honestly, I saw you wearing those clothes and got emotional myself. FYL: Is that your actual costume from the drama? - gets distracted by people taking pictures of the car FYL: Do you think they’ll get a picture of my license number? LYN: Do you think an artist’s license number is a secret? -  But LYN asks viewers to please don’t take pictures of the license plate number. LYN: Oh, so you drive a Ferrari. FYL: As if- I can’t afford it. LYN: Xiao Fang could continue to work hard~ - singing along to 奉上 (sounds good!) FYL: Do you have lyrics? If I said that I can’t remember the lyrics to this song, would it (look bad)? LYN: It’s not important. - FYL harmonizes a line w/ LYN, but LYN didn’t sing that line out loud.

54:33 C: FYL is such a good person! LYN: He’s great! If he weren’t a good person, then we wouldn’t have become friends. 

55:17 FYL: That time we went through the Weibo Headquarters, right? And you sang a couple lines… (LYN: My hair is messed up!) FYL: I went home and was thinking. This song- when I heard you sing it in person- sounded quite high. So when I went woke up to shower the next day I grabbed a bluetooth speaker and tried to sing along with the chorus. I sang my voice hoarse. LYN: /laughs/ That song’s a little high for me as well.

56:40 LYN: I’m guessing- those people who were taking pictures of your car earlier? They probably didn’t know it was US. They probably just thought the car look cool. Really! Because the color is nice. FYL: That makes me sad. LYN: LOL. That the car is more welcome than you are? I don’t think those people were watching our stream, in any case. They weren’t taking pictures of us, I get the feeling they were trying to take pictures of the car. 57:28 C: What color is it? LYN: Pink. /giggles/ LYN: Why is it that FYL can play YSS? This is one of the reasons- he’s flashy enough.

58:00 - complaining about other drivers who don’t follow the rules of the road. LYN: They’re getting reported! 

58:35 - makes a comment about singing Zhang Jie’s songs (t’s hard) 58:59 FYL: But with singing, too. You have to constantly sing. It’s like working out/training your body. LYN: Ywah, you have to keep at it so that you can maintain the skill. FYL: So that’s why every now and then I have to shout my voice out. LYN: Sing every once in a while. FYL: In that case, when I’m on set in the next few days I’ll just have to- /starts singing, loudly/! LYN: If you do that, you’re gonna get hit. C: That scared me to death! LYN: Because you’re wearing the mic!! FYL: Oh! I’m sorry!! I forgot. LYN: No worries. This is also an effect of live streaming.

1:00:02 LYN: The first round was faking we lost the phone. This round is suddenly shouting and scaring you to death. 

1:00:23 - 别梦寒 FYL: This song is also really nice. LYN: This song IS nice. But it was included less, so people heard it less. I really like this song. It’s one that can be considered in the Top 3 of all OSTs I’ve sung in the past couple of years. C: What’s Number 1? FYL: That’s a good question. LYN: There is no Number 1 or 2. There’s no ranking. FYL: But at least you know what Number 3 is. C: There are a lot of new fans. LYN: Thank you.

1:01:25 LYN: Have you arranged a dinner for tonight? FYL: No. LYN: ?? You don’t have plans? You’re not going to treat me to a meal?? You called me over to Hangzhou and you’re not even going to feed me dinner? FYL: Is instant noodles okay? LYN: Okay. // You DID give me a bowl of lotus root powder for my birthday though, yes. But anything other than that? C: What’s for dinner? LYN: I don’t know. He said he didn’t have anything- instant noodles, I guess. We’ll come back around to this later. When we’re in a pinch with filming we don’t have the time to eat at all. FYL: Especially if you have to shoot night scenes. LYN: Are you going back to Hengdian tonight? FYL: /confirms/ LYN: Then, let’s go back together. 

1:02:24 C: Isn’t Hangzhou food hub? LYN: It’s because it is! There are too many good foods (so you can’t choose). FYL: When you have too many choices, the best choice is a pack of instant noodles. FYL: We’re both capricorns. So we’re more conservative. LYN: Is that so? Us two capricorns are so loud and noisy now, so what forced us to be this way? Look at what this industry did to us. FYL: What’s your rising sign? LYN: Scorpio.

1:03:05 C: Are you playing with beads? LYN: I’m not playing with them, but I’m wearing them. 

1:03:30 FYL: All of a sudden my mind has settled. It feels like I’m in a daze. LYN: That’s good. I used to like driving while listening to songs- going out to some deserted place in the middle of nowhere. I’d stop the car and just sit there. - realize they don’t have anything to drink, so they’ll stop by to grab something later 1:04:00 C: I requested time off to watch you stream. LYN: That’s not necessary! Our stream isn’t very exciting. FYL: Our stream is suited for days where you have the day off and you’re still huddled in your blankets because you haven’t thought of what you should do. LYN: Right. When you’re bored, you can play this as something to listen to, on the side. FYL: Maybe if you want to watch tv, you’d have to walk to the living room. But you don’t want to get out of bed so you can watch this on your phone. LYN: But nowadays I just use my phone to watch tv, also. My tv at home hasn’t been turned on in a long time. If I watch dramas, I’ll do it on my iPad. C: Are you talking about me? LYN: Meaning you’re doing exactly what we’re saying? You just turn on your phone and lie in bed, not wanting to get up or move? Turn on our stream and let it play as bgm? FYL: They probably just turned on their phone and have noticed that we’re streaming. C: I’m doing homework. LYN: Doing your homework while listening to our voices. Look up once in a while to give us a gander. FYL: Would they write the answers wrong? You turn your homework in tomorrow and your teacher tells you that you got everything wrong. LYN: They wrote down the lyrics to these songs, instead.

1:05:40 FYL: Do you like love songs more, or ? LYN: Everything is good. The most important thing for me is that it sounds good. There’s no exact genre that I like. I listen to rap as well. FYL: Do you have a song where you rap? LYN: Yeah. FYL: I want to hear it! 🙂 LYN: Let’s not.

1:06:15 FYL: I didn’t get to watch your stage performance with Xiao Zeng (ZXS). Did it go well, the rap? LYN: The rap went well. /starts reciting/ It was memorized by force. Xiao Fang knows this because one day the three of us- ZSX, FYL, LYN- were eating at my house. We all wrapped up early, so were having a meal at my house. ZSX was feeling a lot of pressure, and asked me if I had memorized the lyrics for the opening song. I told him I didn’t, because there would be a prompter. He said, “Ohh, is that right?” But then I thought about it and considered that actually, I SHOULD memorize it. He reminded me. So the two of us were just memorizing the lyrics. FYL: You started doing it while eating! LYN: /recites more lyrics/ FYL: Wow, I bet you were even doing it in your dreams. LYN: Yeah- we were still going through it up until the moment we had to stand on stage. I was afraid I would say them wrong. FYL: I bet when you were dreaming of it, at the sound of your alarm in the morning you’d shock yourself awake and into reciting out loud. 

1:08:00 FYL: I don’t know why, when I was younger I used to remember all the lyrics. But now I can’t. LYN: … Because we’ve heard too many songs by now? FYL: When you listen to a song, do you go out of your way to memorize the lyrics? LYN: Not particularly. If it’s my own song and I have to sing it at some event, I’ll take some time in advance to remember the lyrics. LYN: Nowadays when I sing I pretty much rely on the prompter. But you at least have to know around 70%+ of the song. FYL: Right. You can’t keep looking at it. LYN: Yes. 70% or more. You can look at the prompter every once in a while when you’re singing. If you can’t remember the lyrics you can scan the prompter ahead of time. 1:09:00 LYN: I didn’t see clearly, but I think someone said that they had a fight with their husband because you want to watch us stream? Did you really? It’s not worth it!! Stop watching. Don’t let watching two puxin-men influence your house and home. It’s not worth it. Go make it up to your husband. Stop watching. Turn it off.

1:10:00 FYL: I have to take the chance to wear my sunglasses before it gets dark. I haven’t worn them very much since I bought them. LYN: Is that so? I wear the ones you bought me sometimes when I go out for work. FYL: It’s so flashy. LYN: LOL, yeah. Because the logo is printed all over. FYL: Only “the most confident man in all the world” would dare to wear them. LYN: FYL gifted me a pair of sunglasses from a big brand- all of the design elements on the glases are actually the brand’s logo. Just in case you can’t tell where the glasses are from. FYL: But I get the feeling you can actually pull off wearing them. LYN: Why? Because I am “puxin” enough? XD FYL: You have that aura about you. LYN: No, I can’t live up to them. FYL: I just think you have more of a personality, but more introverted. LYN: Thank you. FYL: You need something bright! LYN: People rely on clothes- I have to rely on my wardrobe to find my aura. Normally I’m too basic, so I need something to help me. FYL: No, you’re not bad that to that extent. 

1:11:19 - FYL takes his hand off the wheel in excitement LYN: Please put your hands back on the wheel. FYL: Yes, right. 

1:11:30 ----- Wang Yizhe time C: Lao Qian is here. LYN: Is he? Let me see if I can connect. LYN: Apparently there are more than 2k people waiting to connect. It’s not worth it! I won’t connect with you. I sent an invite to Lao Qian. Whether he accepts or not is up to him. If it’s convenient, he’ll accept. If it’s not then he won’t. 

- /lag/

WYZ: /wearing sunglasses/ LYN: To fit in. The squad needs to have the same gear. You’re even wearing black. WYZ: No, these are my pajamas. LYN: Where are you, Beijing? WYZ: Yes, in Beijing. LYN: Right… If you were here, we’d be playing together. WYZ: What are you to up to? LYN: We’re doing a simple stream today- my “birthday” stream and it so happened that he (FYL) was off so we decided to hang out together. WYZ: Are you going to shop or…? LYN: I don’t know where he’s taking me- FYL: We’re going to where young people go to have fun. WYZ: ??? “Where young people go to have fun”?? Are you close to Hengdian? LYN: We’re in Hangzhou today. FYL: I already took everyone to our first attraction. LYN: We found some seats by West Lake and made two cups of lotus root powder. After we finished we ran. FYL: I was originally planning to ride the boat, but I don’t know why there was a really long line today. LYN: Yes- we were planning to ride on the boat. FYL: Isn’t it romantic? WYZ: If the two of you went on a boat ride wouldn’t the bridge collapse (because of all the people on it)? LYN: Let me tell you- here’s the embarrassing thing. No one recognized us. WYZ: Well, yes- that IS embarrassing. LYN: Going out wasn’t embarrassing, but since you mentioned being recognized, now it IS embarrassing. No one recognized us. FYL: I was planning to get the speaker and playing 奉上 right then and there! WYZ: Then, Lao Ning. You probably didn’t stand up. If you did you would have ben exposed in an instant. LYN: No- we were wandering around the whole time. We walked back and forth and no one recognized us. WYZ: Are people in Hangzhou all as tall as you are??? LYN: That’s why I was saying, that the two of us are puxin men. Normal/Basic (putong) and Confident (zixin). That’s why no one recognized us. WYZ: You wanted to go out a little obviously, wearing sunglasses so that people knew you were celebrities, but it ended up that no one paid attention to you. LYN: No, it was fine. Also, because I had told people in the stream not to come find us. They probably didn’t want to in the first place, but I just thought I should mention it. They were respectful of us and didn’t come. WYZ: So it’s just the two of you? LYN: Yeah, just the two of us. No sponsor or anything. WYZ: Then I guess you’ve been exposed by now. Your itinerary is going to get a lot more crowded. LYN: Don’t say that! There are two outcomes: 1. People think they need to help us save face and quickly grab a car to come make noise so that we look more popular, or 2. No one shows up at all. 

1:15:30 WYZ: How long are you planning to be out for? LYN: I don’t know. There’s not exactly a time limit. FYL: We’ll see as we go. LYN: We’ll stay out for the day and then return to Hengdian at night and continue filming tomorrow. WYZ: The main thing is because you both don’t have work today, is that right? LYN: Yeah- the crew gave us a day. He (FYL) just entered a new one. - “Dian Gong”?? [t/n: IDK what they’re referring to here] FYL: I entered the crew in December and they haven’t gotten around to my scenes yet. I’ve only shot for one day thus far. But it’s nice that I have this time. The timing was just right.  WYZ: Have the two of you eaten? LYN: I told you, we had lotus root starch. WYZ: Is that even filling?? LYN: Oh my goodness- it was so thick, like eating a bowl of thickened cornstarch. FYL: For people like us who have grown up on dew alone, a bowl of lotus root starch is enough to carry us through the whole day. WYZ: The two of you eat little on a normal basis, anyway.

1:16:45 LYN: I thought since it was my birthday I would bother him a bit, since he’s always in Hangzhou. He’s from Zhejiang. WYZ: This is his territory.  LYN: Yeah- so I thought I would ask my good friend to take me out to eat well. In the end I came here and he dragged me to West Lake- not even getting there by car! we WALKED - to find seats so that he could prepare two cups of lotus root starch. FYL: We even brought our own water. LYN: We boiled the water at home and brought it ourselves. And then we still had half a bag of lotus root powder left, that we wrapped up and are taking back home. WYZ: FYL- I think if you dressed up as YSS and took pictures by West Lake, I think it would look really nice. LYN: That’s true. WYZ: The white clothes really suit the scenery. LYN: If he went in costume, people would probably recognize him, then. WYZ: They might think it’s some rando cosplaying as YSS. LYN: Don’t keep bringing up the topic of people recognizing us. It’s embarrassing (bc no one did). It’s a complicated feeling.

1:17:50 C: It’s my first time seeing Lao Qian say so much. WYZ: I was at home cleaning up and got a notification that the two of you were streaming. I came in then realized that you can see me. I was just planning to watch in silence and be a viewer. LYN: Yes, I can see when you come in. WYZ: Mainly I saw that the two of you were bare faced and wearing sunglasses, so I thought I could also wear a pair and connect. LYN: We don’t have anything planned - we’re just going to shop around. WYZ: Yeah! It’s not your birthday yet, right? Why would you have a b-day stream… LYN: I don’t have time on the day of my birthday. WYZ: I see. LYN: I don’t have time, so I decided to do something today. It so happened that I asked FYL yesterday if he had time, and he did. Since that was the case I thought we could stream together. We could hang out around Hangzhou. WYZ: Sounds great. It’s rare to have some time off, so it’s great to get around. It gets boring staying in Hengdian all the time. LYN: It’s been too long since I’ve been out and about. WYZ: It’s been a long, long time since I last saw you. LYN: Yes, yes. It’s okay- let’s meet in Beijing in a couple of days. I might have an event there, and we can go out to eat. WYZ: Alright.

1:19:20 WYZ: Oh- you’re still wearing the mic? LYN: No- when I connected with you, I unplugged it. Because I wouldn’t be able to hear you talking with it on. We’re professionals, come on! WYZ: Oh my~ You’re SO professional! LYN: I’m not a pro at acting, but for livestream I’m the PRO. WYZ: You’re amazing. LYN: Sing and acting is not professional, but for streaming I am.

- /8 more minutes until they reach their destination/

WYZ: How long have you been streaming for? LYN: 1h, 20m! WYZ: Wow, so long?? You’ve been streaming the whole way? LYN: Yeah, we just haven’t stopped. This stream is not like those business-oriented other streams. This is just for- WYZ: Chatting. LYN: - for “company.” FYL: For “relaxation.” For “water, but no content”. LYN: It LOOKS like stream, but really it’s a surveillance camera. It’s a surveillance camera, aimed at the two of us. It’s like whatever we do, we’re being monitored. Just for fun. WYZ: You’re not streaming in your house today, so there are no special sound effects. LYN: Right. No canned laughter. I have to laugh myself. WYZ: Yeah! But this way it’s awkward and freezes the room over. LYN: We have music though, in the car. FYL: We’re playing some bgm. WYZ: This is FYL’s car, right? LYN: Yeah. FYL: No, I rented it. WYZ: Ah~ You rented a nice car especially for Lao Ning. FYL: Yes, since he came I have to show up. WYZ: Okay, then.

1:21:00 C: Call Yuan Lu over. LYN: No- it’s not like I was originally planning on a two-person stream. If I had thought I was going to do this earlier, I would have called everyone over. WYZ: Right! I just stumbled in by accident. It’s not like this was planned. LYN: Yeah- I wasn’t planning on this, but I only just now thought that I COULD have done it this way. I was just thinking- if I was in my house, I would just stream like normal but stick up some “Happy Birthday” balloons in the background. I would paste up some flowers. Then after a while my staff would come in pushing a cart with a cake on it to give me a surprise. I would be so touched! Then, I would blow out the candles on stream. After that, my staff would bring some paper prompts with like new year’s wishes or something like that. I’m sure there would be something like, giving the fans some benefit like “posting ten selfies” or something. I know that if I were in my room it would go like that. But I thought about it and… It seems like a process many are familiar with. WY: Yeah, you get the process. I think when we were in the crew, they were all this format. LYN: Right. But I didn’t think that was very interesting so I decided to do something different/unexpected and come out with Xiao Fang. It might not be very exciting, but I think this way is more relaxing and free-flowing. WYZ: I think this is nice. It’s more what you would do normally/in your daily life. If you go the same route as people usually do, it would be boring. WYZ: Then will you be streaming later, on your birthday? Or, no? LYN: I don’t think I will, because I have filming to do. WYZ: Okay. LYN: Since I had the time today, I decided to stream. WYZ: It’s good, since the two of you are in Hengdian. Why not meet, since you’re both there? LYN: Right. FYL: I calculated it, and you should be coming here soon, too. WYZ: Well, you take care of Lao Ning first. FYL: No problem. WYZ: And then later-

FYL: Do you want to catch a plane over to eat instant noodles? WYZ: ?? Instant noodles? FYL: Yeah- I reserved some instant noodles to eat tonight. WYZ: You’d better at least add and egg and let him eat Longevity Noodles. FYL: I will. LYN: He can come over, but the caveat is that you have to reimburse his airfare. XD FYL: Forget about it, then! WYZ: I have ground transportation,... LYN: Of course! You need to book a car service to send and receive him, then after hte meal make sure he has enough to-go before sending him back. WYZ: I’m going to need hair/makeup and wardrobe on the way, too! LYN: You don’t need any of that- all black is quite nice. FYL: Why don’t I call you some takeout? WYZ: Then the three of us will be walking down the street and no one will recognize any of us. X’D LYN: I’m sure.

1:24:18 WYZ: I’m sure that FYL has more of a reputation in Hangzhou than either of us. FYL: Huh? I don’t! LYN: Why? Oh- Because he’s from here? FYL: I’m not from Hangzhou- I’m from Jiaxing. I’m not in Hangzhou all the time; I spend more time in Jiaxing. WYZ: Okay, well- if you’re eating instant noodles then I won’t go. If you eat at some fancy restaurant, remember to call me. LYN: I WISH he would take me to a fancy restaurant. FYL: You aren’t eating that today. It’s not in the cards. LYN: There’s no budget, since you’ve rented this car already. FYL: I only have 200RMB in my pocket. LYN/WYZ: You brought cash? FYL: I was planning on taking him to the shops to buy clothes.// But then I thought of something better. WYZ: Oh, don’t expose where you’re going. LYN: If we mentioned it, we’re definitely not going there anymore. WYZ: Reverse operations. LYN: He was thinking of going to the Sijiqing Garment Market- because it’s more fashionable, right? Even though I’ve never been there!- He told me it was very fashionable. But we were thinking- because many clothes sellers often livestream, too- so if we also went we’d be in direct competition. I was afraid to get hit. FYL: Sijiqing CAN BE fashionable. WYZ: Can you even find Lao Ning’s size there? FYL: Yeah, of course. I was originally planning on the two of us preparing 200RMB, and we’d go around haggling. WYZ: So do you usually get your clothes at Sijiqing? LYN: Someone is asking what Sijiqing is! Let me explain- it really is a fashionable place. It’s a garment market. Somewhere people who sell clothes will go to get their goods for their shop. It’s similar to Wuai Market in Shenyang and Dongwuyuan Wholesale in Beijing. WYZ: There’s also Jintaiyang in Dongbei, right? LYN: Yes, and… Baima in Guangzhou? Or something like that. FYL: I was looking up information online and I read that we should each bring a black plastic bag. WYZ: Yes! And you need a little rolling cart, too. LYN: I’m sure if we weren’t streaming, we could go there too. We could selet some clothing and then sell it online to my fans. XD We buy it for 20RMB, and sell it for 25. Make 5RMB off one article, so if we sell 100 articles we would make 500RMB. That’s not bad. WYZ: It would make streaming worth it. LYN: Right?! WYZ: You could get a decent meal out of it. FYL: Then we’re eating big! LYN: We can eat hotpot. FYL: We wouldn’t have to eat instant noodles. :’)

1:28:04 WYZ: Have you arrived? LYN: Yup, we’re here. Thank you for keeping us company. WYZ: Alright, no problem. LYN: Let’s meet up, either in Hengdian or Beijing. WYZ: Ok! Bye~ LYN: Bye bye~ WYZ: Have fun! Bye bye. LYN: Happy New Year! WYZ: Happy New Year~

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1:28:22 - LYN’s 天问 playing as bgm in the car LYN: Did you used to love my music this much? Or did you know I was coming, so you purposely made this playlist?? FYL: No, it’s a really nice sounding song! FYL: I spent my birthday in the crew, right? Do you know what song they played for me? LYN: What song? FYL: 奉上. LYN: Oh, really? FYL: Yeah!1:28:50 - they’ve arrived at the next destination - Aquarium Date!

[t/n: I won’t translate directly much of this next segment]

1:31:00 - FYL: Should we take our sunglasses off? Otherwise we won’t be able to see anything.

FYL: Jellyfish! LYN: Are these real? FYL: Yeah! LYN: I thought it was a special effect!

1:32:00 - trying to feed the fish & the way lyn translates english is... interesting, but you can’t say he’s wrong. X'D “Feed Point” becomes “FOOD Po (po - 泼/sprinkle) - In (li - 里/in (preposition) - T (tou - 投/to cast/send)” FYL: They (the fish) must eat a lot every day. LYN: But there are a lot of fish…

1:34:30 - they found a snake and referenced the drama lol

FYL: There’s no snake in this one. Asian Vine Snake. It’s too thin, we can’t see it. LYN: Is the snake alright?! /laughs/ The snake is fine, and you’re fine too. LYN: The snake’s okay. It’s inside, sleeping. It’s very alive. Just sleeping.

- [t/n: these fish tanks are just… open-topped. What???] - commenting on the blue color of fish LYN: They won’t jump out? THAT would be impressive. FYL: If they come out, they can’t go back. If that happens then they… meet their H-E. (happy ending, referencing the supposed “H-E” of YNGS)

1:37:00 - Giant Pangasius & Gourami - marvels at the size of… whatever fish that is. FYL: Let’s see if it’ll come up (for fish feed). LYN: I don’t think it cares about that stuff. That’s like peanuts for it. FYL: This white one looks like it wants to eat it… FYL: Look from the top!

FYL: This fish's lips are pretty sexy. LYN: Sexy? Why don't you stick your head in there and kiss it, then?? FYL: It’s not eating… /fish eats/ Oh! It is!

1:38:40 - reptiles, some sort of mimic fish, plants 1:40:00 - arapaima (LYN: This is scary! How long is that!? At least 2m???)

1:41:00 - silver arowana & oscar fish FYL: You said they were ugly and they got angry! LYN: No, but they don’t look as pretty as the ones people raise. - give them some fish food C: I’m hungry now. LYN: Are you hungry because of the fish food, or because of the fish?!? If it’s the fish food, then that’s a little strange. C: Are you at a restaurant? LYN: LOL! FYL: Wasn’t it on the news, that a mother took the fish her son was raising and cooked and ate it? LYN: I haven’t seen that news. LYN: But- what are you talking about?!? This is an aquarium, not a restaurant. Do you think we’re picking out our seafood for dinner?

1:42:45 - these fish are poisonous? (Kaluga Sturgeon & Alligator Gar (eggs are poisonous)) 1:43:40 - /points at the fish/ LYN: What are you looking at?!

1:44:00 - LYN: There’s a “Mermaid Theatre” up ahead. Do we want to check it out? XD - found scorpions & spiders. LYN: I won’t show you any of these cold-blooded animals. You were already afraid enough with just the fish. - Comments egging them on to see the Mermaid Theatre :p

1:44:55 - Starfish FYL: A shark. LYN: Shark, where?

FYL: There! FYL: It looks like… LYN: It looks like a mudfish. FYL: It doesn’t have the feel of a shark. LYN: This is a Spotted Bamboo Shark (狗鲨). This nickname is too weak sounding!! - bullying the fish

1:45:39 LYN: The other day I saw an article on the origin of humans, and it was discussing from where we originated- and there was a comment that read, “Correct. Actually, humans came from the sea. We used to be good friends with goldfish.”

1:46:25 - Sea Turtles (they like to eat and like to play, please don’t stick your hands in the tank) FYL: They’re not afraid of humans, look they’re following us. LYN: They’ve probably been alive for longer than we have! - feeding the turtles and making a joke about hotpot FYL: Who thought to feed sea turtles cabbage? They’ve probably never even seen this, in the sea. LYN: Just like me, someone from Dongbei who’s learned to eat Sichuanese food.

1:50:00 - discussing whether they’re going to check out the mermaids or not 1:50:17 - found some sort of dragon throne

1:51:20 -  FYL goes to  "teach the restroom a lesson"; LYN shows us some sharks. LYN: Did you just wear the mic into the bathroom?? FYL: Yeah, I just that of that! It’s okay, I guess. - lost the sound when it was LYN’s turn.We hear some... sounds of him washing his hands, prob.

- little boy came to bring them some water; he proceeds to follow them around the aquarium 1:57:00 - garden eel 1:57:40 - shark! - manta ray in the water tunnel (bad reception here)

- saw the mermaid, but couldn't show it bc they were wearing... a little. but it’s okay bc the stream lagged and we couldn’t see anything anyway. 2:01:30 - kid’s show - now on their way to finding the exit; they gotta run bc people found them :| 2:05:30 - the kid followed them out, too XD

----------

2:06:42 - on to the next destination!

2:07:18 C: Why do you have double eyelids? LYN: ! Sis, I’ve always had them, you just couldn’t tell because my eyes are small. Like this (straight angle)- I have monolids. But if you look at me from the bottom-up it’s double. 

2:08:05 LYN: Please open (turn on) the music. FYL: LOL, Ok! LYN: Play the music. - LYN: ! Did you fasten your seatbelt?! FYL: Yeah.

2:09:00 LYN: Let me show you the QR code, and you can pay the parking fee for me. XD /to FYL/ How much is it? FYL: 10RMB. LYN: 10? Ok- you (the viewers) can pay that for us. /joking/ - can’t find the exit >.<

2:11:07 FYL: If I don’t wear my sunglasses now, would it be… LYN: … too late to wear them. Wear them a while. You just bought them, right? FYL: No, I;ve had them for a while. LYN: Just never had the chance to wear them? FYL: No I’m just.. Not in the mood? Sometimes I feel like I sort of count as an artist, right? Other people in the airport come out wearing sunglasses and they look very cool. But when I wear them myself I feel like I’m pretending. I can’t stand myself. LYN: I feel that way too. When I used to go to the airport before, I wouldn’t even wear a hat. My hair would be messy, and I didn’t wear sunglasses. At most I would have a face mask. But then I discovered a problem- all of that will become your dark history. XD FYL: That makes sense! XD LYN: Sometimes you get up and you’re not in the greatest condition- your eyes are swollen and your hair is messy and they take pictures of it all. When you look back it all turns into capital materiall to bring you down. That’s why now I try to make myself look more presentable. FYL: That’s true. … I keep losing my sunglasses, though.

2:12:27 - discovers it’s looping the same song C: Where is he taking you? LYN: To eat instant noodles. It’s almost dinner time. FYL: Should I just play any song? LYN: Whatever is fine.

2:13:17 FYL: Do you feel like the year passes by too quickly? LYN: Yeah, it’s too fast. FYL: I feel like… the two of us should find a chance to really go out there and travel. It’s just that I don’t feel like we get many opportunities to create any deep memories. You know? I can’t think of anything I’ve done that has left an impression. I remember my dramas! LYN: I know- we only remember that we’ve been filming for dramas. LYN: For me, I don’t dare to go out to play. I feel like I have to make better use of my time. LYN: But my mentality has gotten better. After YNGS aired, I feel a lot better about it. Sometimes I feel like, “Yeah. I should take a break. It’s time.” Otherwise I can’t see the meaning in life anymore. People have to take a rest sometimes. FYL: Go to West Lake and have a bowl of lotus root starch. LYN: Yeah. C: You’ve matured. LYN: I don’t think that’s it. It (the reception) is just different from what I imagined. That’s why I think it’s time to take a break. I’ll finish up the next four dramas I have lined up and then take a break, XD Or was that too basic and overconfident?? LYN: Sometimes I joke in my stream. They’re all inside-jokes. Please don’t take it seriously. Thank you.

2:15:16 LYN: It’s good that we didn’t do anything too out of the ordinary, today. Otherwise we’d get another round of criticism. FYL: Most of the time I speak without thinking first. But now... I’ve become afraid. LYN: Yeah, the nature of the entertainment industry… it’s like everything we say can be blown out of proportion to the point that everyone is afraid to say anything. It’s better to stay quiet. - talking about wearing pink thermals, I didn’t really catch the prompt why.

2:16:25 FYL: Do you have good eyesight? LYN: Pretty good! One is 5.0 and the other is 5.1. Don’t just see my small eyes, my eyesight is great. FYL: That means you didn’t watch a lot of tv when you were young. LYN: I have my family to thank for that. They didn’t let me watch tv. FYL: Mine either! When I was little I REALLY wanted to watch tv. But when my dad went out he would take the remote and put it somewhere, with a hair on it, to see if it moved. When he came back home he would test the temperature of the screen. LYN: It’s like what spies in dramas do. Put a leaf in the door crack. If someone breaks in the leaf would fall to the floor and you would know someone went into your house. That’s too cool. FYL: I could watch every Saturday, for two hours. LYN: What’s funny is that your family would tell you that watching tv would hurt your eyes, but they’d make you read instead. Somehow reading books doesn’t give you bad eyesight?? FYL: But you should still read often. LYN: There are many ways to gain knowledge nowadays, though. You can gain knowledge by looking at your phone, too. FYL: My sight’s pretty good too. About the same as yours… because I didn’t read that many books when I was young. XD LYN: It’s okay, It all comes around. You didn’t read many books when you were young and that’s why you have to read so many drama scripts now. When you were little you never remembered the prompts, but now you have to remember your lines.

2:18:44 FYL: It’s a state of mind! After you stop filming for a while, you become stupid. But when you start filming, then you start thinking quickly. LYN: Right- it’s the same as singing, we said earlier. You have to maintain it. If you keep remembering lines day after day, your memory will get better, too. - stream lags LYN: Sometimes when we’re filming, if the crew thinks we could use the same setting to crank out a few scenes, they’ll shuffle the schedule. But it’s not as if you remembered the lines for the additional scene ahead of time, so you just have to memorize them on the spot. It doesn’t matter that they gave it to you last minute, you have to remember it. You just have to develop that ability. LYN: It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. - LYN was about to say something, but decides against it. FYL says that’s something he has to learn from LYN- the sense of awareness.

2:21:30 - tunnel up ahead, possible bad connection - discussing vertical vs horizontal screen position. LYN chose vertical because this way it feels more like we’re on a video call. - troubleshooting for live viewers (if the video and audio aren’t synced, close the window and re-open it)2:22:54 FYL: I loved Hangzhou when I was a kid. Every time, after the rain, it would smell fragrant with flowers. LYN: There weren’t lakes and rivers in Jiaxing? FYL: There were! LYN: But it smelled different? FYL: Yeah. LYN: Dandong is by the Yalu River, so it just smelled like seafood. - considering the geography of the Yalu River estuary - asking what Dandong is known for, and if LYN knows how to make it (he doesn’t) FYL: That’s such a stereotype. It’s just like when people ask me where I’m from, and when I tell them Jiaxing they say I must be good at wrapping zongzi. Like, who told you that?? LYN: is Jiaxing known for zongzi? FYL: Yeah. So I guess all we do at home is wrap zongzi. -__-;

2:25:05 - switched networks; there’s nothing viewers can do but endure it, bc there’s nothing he can do to help it. Says if he tries an outdoors stream again the next time he’ll bring portable wifi device with him.

2:26:15 - still trying to fix the other mic

2:27:20 FYL: If you keep wearing your sunglasses won’t you not be able to see soon? LYN: It’s not important. I’ll wear it while I still can, because I can’t once we get indoors. FYL: You can still wear it indoors, if you’d like. C: It’s lagging because there are too many people watching. LYN: Aiyoo~ You make it seem like we are very welcome and people are falling over themselves trying to watch us. It’s not worth it, and there’s not much exciting content here anyway. There hasn’t been much today- only pretending we lost FYL’s phone, and then suddenly warming up the voice to scare you to death. LYN: ! We’ve been streaming for 2.5 hours! FYL: Already? How come I don’t feel like it? LYN: When I’m streaming at home I’ll go for about 3-4 hours. But I feel like time has passed by so quickly today. FYL: Me too! FYL: It’s been so relaxing, as well. 

2:29:00 C: Is your hand sore (from holding the phone all day)? LYN: Of course it is. - Thanks weibo for promoting the stream and also makes sure that FYL’s channel is also livestreaming.

2:30:05 - they’re both trending in the hot search C: Xiao Fang is on it. LYN: He is, but I’m not? XD FYL: Don’t~! LYN: ! You focus on driving. C: There are three topics. FYL: Am I trending because I lost my phone? They all went to look for it? LYN: They’re saying that you have a solo one, and then there’s one with us together. Thanks for all your support. - continues to entertain the thought that FYL is trending bc people are at Xihu trying to find his phone. LYN: So are we heading back to the hotel to eat? FYL: No~ LYN: This is where we passed by before, right? FYL: Yeah. My location is set to this parking. /indicates the gps/ In this parking lot. We’ll park there are eat instant noodles. LOL. LYN: The day went like this: we went to Xihu to have a bowl of lotus root starch, and now we’re going back to find some parking near Xihu to have instant noodles in the parking lot. I’m guessing the hot water in his thermos is still hot. It should be enough to cook the noodles, right? FYL: It should be no problem. LYN: Oh, I know. Since there’s cold brewed tea, there must also be cold cooked noodles. FYL: Maybe we just let it soak for longer. Eat it and soak it at the same time. LYN: This is called slow-cooking at a low temperature. FYL: Cold and crispy noodles. LYN: Amazing. FYL: We’ll test out the texture for everyone.

2:32:25 C: What did FYL give you as a b-day present? LYN: I’m not complimenting him just because he’s right here, but it’s not as if I compliment him behind his back either- /LOL/- but he’s a really nice person. If we haven’t met for some time, he will always bring me a small gift. Sometimes Lego, sunglasses, or clothes. Today he gifted me with clothing. I haven’t worn it yet. FYL: ! That reminds me of the candle-tray I borrowed from you. When we’re back in Hengdian, I’ll bring it to you. LYN: Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it later. - talking about different ways to say “sensible/having high EQ” FYL: But actually it’s mutual! A few days ago he even sent me Dandong strawberries. C: FYL learned he was streaming and then put on his sunglasses. LYN: /cackling/ FYL: No! I just wanted to wear them while there’s still some sun out! LYN: Right! I know we didn’t do anything fashionable today, but we have to look fashionable while doing it. All-black outfit and sunglasses- I feel like we should be going clubbing. - lag again

2:35:15 - almost at their destination - commenting on the traffic

2:35:37 LYN: We brought a selfie stick, but it’s in the suitcase. Later we’ll take it out and use it as a stand. FYL: But the color is too puxin. LYN: XD It’s also pink colored. 

2:36:20 - trying to navigate around but got kinda lost (a little chaotic)

2:38:27 C: Go spend money at Jinsha Pavillion LYN: LOL FYL: If you give them YSSs name, you get a 5% discount. C: Can YOU drive? FYL: He’s an old driver. LYN: But it’s been a long time. FYL: You don’t really have a chance to drive. LYN: Right. When I go out it’s always to the hair/makeup. You want me to wake up early to drive myself there, then drive myself back at night?? I’d rather use the time to rest while I can (while someone else drives).

2:40:17 C: The back windows are open. LYN: It’s because the security guard earlier scared us! FYL tried to open the front window but pressed the back by accident. FYL: ? Then that means the video is pretty clear. They can even see the windows are open?

2:40:20 - they have arrived at their parking area, and will walk to the final destination? C: It’s dark out now. LYN: Right? We started streaming from when the sun was out and now night’s fallen. - trying to find a parking spot

2:44:56 - in the underground parking FYL: No- I can’t wear these sunglasses anymore. I can’t see a thing!! - /took them off/ FYL: I’m not handsome anymore, but at least I can see. - backing into the space, amazing. LYN: FYL’s steering wheel is about to start smoking. /imitates the aggressive turning of the wheel/

----------

2:46:40 - getting ready to get off the car, masking up, and grabbing supplies (power bank, phone stand) LYN: Where are we going? Are you taking me there? FYL: Yeah! 2:47:50 LYN: Would we get hit for wearing sunglasses when it’s night out? FYL: Huh? LYN: /repeats his question/ FYL: No, they will only think that we are very fashionable. LYN: /laughs/ Alright, then. LYN: In Dongbei, when we want to describe someone as really silly we’ll call them “cao hu”. FYL: If I went to Dongbei, someone could be cursing me out and I would probably say “Thank you.” LYN: Wow, what type of place is this?

- their destination was in the lot they were in earlier, but they weren’t allowed to park there so they have to walk :\ FYL: Oh no, my sunglasses. LYN: It’s too dark. I’m almost at my limit, too. It’s dark but in order to keep my look I can’t see the road very well. C: Take them off. LYN: No, we’ll keep at it for a while longer. No matter how dark it gets!

2:49:42 LYN: Wow, it’s cold at night. Good thing I wore this hat. FYL: I never understood what these things (poms poms) were for. LYN: For fashion. FYL: Is that so?? LYN: When it’s cold you can stuff them in your mouth. FYL: When it’s cold you can stuff them in your ears. 

2:50:38 LYN: We do look quite strange like this, though. FYL: We don’t! LYN: It’s dark and we’re wearing all black, wearing masks and sunglasses. C: Why are you bringing a suitcase? LYN: The power bank and phone stand are in there. The thermos, too. We have to use it to make our noodles later. LYN: We’re here on the street pretending to be celebrities. FYL: I think it’s not that bad in Hangzhou, though. The other day I went to cut my hair, and the building- the whole building- was full of cosplayers. I think this city has a lot of people who like to wear something out of ordinary. We just have to not consider ourselves as all that. LYN: Right. You think that people are looking at you, but in reality no one cares.

2:50:50 - walking

2:53:50 FYL: When did you eat lunch? Did you eat? Don’t tell me you didn’t eat anything before you came out?? LYN: When I came over from Hengdian I had a bread. FYL: How big of a bread? LYN: That small croissant from S*bucks. LYN: That’s all I ate. I woke up, had a coffee and bread, had a bowl of lotus root starch, and now we’re heading to eat a bowl of noodles. So filling. FYL: For your noodles, no matter what I’m going to find a way to fish up some of that grass from the lake. XD LYN: Weren’t you the one who said we’d be arrested if we took anything from the lake?? 

2:55:00 - searching

2:55:40 LYN: It’s here? Such a nice place!?? You don’t want me to foot the bill today, do you? XD LYN: /to the stream/ If he wants me to pay I’m out of here.

2:56:15 FYL: !! I still have two boxes of fish food in my pocket! We can add them to the noodles. LYN: Get some hot water and we can eat the fish food. That’s what they’re saying, that humans originated from fish, right?

-----

[t/n: I don’t think I’ll trns much of the chaos/idle chatter of dinner]

2:57:30 C: Wow, I fell on the floor! LYN: I dropped my phone- FYL: That was a ploy. LYN: Right, we have no content, so we’re forcing it.

- took off the portable mics since they are inside now

2:58:05 - FYL is helping to get everything set up C: Assistant Xiao Fang~ LYN: No! He’s very professional about it. He learned we would be streaming yesterday and went  to buy a selfie stick. C: The sound is suddenly loud. LYN: It’s because, when we were outside, if you could hear too clearly then we might catch other people’s private conversation. That’s impolite. (so they were using the external mics)

2:58:58 - shows off the bright pink selfie stick, which matches the carrier. The sleeve for the stick also matches LYN’s hat (with the pom poms). - plugging in the power bank bc after a day of streaming the phone he’s using has low battery. - suspects that either his power bank doesn’t have power, or the cord he’s using is faulty. It’s the latter, but he has other cords.

3:00:53 LYN: What is this? What are you doing?? You really brought your own tea leaves?!? FYL: I brought my own tea. LYN: Why are we even eating here, if you’re going to even bring your own tea?? FYL: I wasn’t kidding you! It’s because I was thinking whether I should give you lotus root powder or tea on the boat. I was wondering which one looked more “fashion”, and then- LYN: I’ve met people who bring their own beer to a restaurant, but never someone who brings their own tea!

3:02:00 FYL: Step-in Streamer Xiao Fang is at work~ C: You won’t take your sunglasses off? FYL: I’ll wear them for a little longer. FYL: It’s only been recently that I’ve started drinking tea. I used to really like drinking coffee- iced coffee, but in the last two years I feel like I’ve started liking to drink hot things. - cleaning up some spilled water C: You’ve worked hard. FYL: I haven’t~ What have I done? C: It’s healthier. FYL: It is.

C: West Lake Fish in Vinegar Gravy. (Song Sao Fish) FYL: I don’t know if people who aren’t from here could handle eating it. Because, if I’m remembering correctly, the authentic Sour Fish dish doesn’t have salt in it. It’s just sugar and vinegar. Have you had it before? C: Longjing Shrimp. FYL: I think I’m starting to get why people call Hangzhoou a food hub, because the dishes here are more on the light and mild side. But maybe other places in China are known for their strong flavors, heavy on the spices and salt. Hangzhou dishes are cooked to maintain the original flavor of the ingredients. C: Take of your sunglasses. FYL: If he hasn’t taken them off, I won’t! Has he already? Oh, he did. XD Alright, I’ll take them off. You can’t even let me wear them for a little longer? C: Is there a surprise? FYL: Yes~ The surprise already happened when you weren’t there to see it. LYN: You mean losing your phone? FYL: That counts as one of the surprises, yes.

3:05:00 LYN: I was originally thinking- if I streamed at home, I could put a row of rice and soybean oil in the background and then raffle them off to you. But since we made it into an outdoors stream, I don’t think we can raffle anything. Next year, then. FYL: The shipping fee for the rice alone would be ridiculous. It’s so heavy! One bag is what? 5kg? LYN: The shipping fee would be fine. We can just have the recipient pay. It doesn’t make a difference to me. FYL: But would it be embarrassing if it couldn’t be sent? If someone returns the item to sender? LYN: The simplest thing would be to autograph each jug. I’m sure they would reluctantly accept the parcel, in that case. 

3:06:04 LYN: Did you bring your speaker? FYL: Yes, I was just planning to play some songs. But… I think this speaker is a knockoff. LYN: What do you mean? FYL: Yesterday I went to buy takeout and then I saw this brand, so I bought it. But the sound quality isn’t great, and I bought it for the price of the real thing. LYN: How do we know the quality of the sound just isn’t like that to begin with? FYL: You’ll know when you hear it. - puts his fluffy hat back on LYN: I should still wear this hat, because I bought it especially for this stream. I don’t want it to go to waste. FYL: Is in included on the expenses for the day? LYN: It’s included.     

3:06:55 LYN: Are we doing 50/50 split today? FYL: Uh… Sure. - moving the camera FYL: I was thinking on moving it to that side of you? At an angle. FYL: I actually bought two bags of potato chips and bag of shrimp chips, but last night when I was watching a movie I ate them. - LYN, drinking tea and spitting out the tea leaves. ; FYL trying to get his speaker set up FYL: What do you think? Isn’t my tea better than theirs? LYN: I haven’t had theirs. Why don’t I order a cup, and we can compare? FYL: Don’t~ That will hurt someone’s feelings. (either his or the restaurant’s, lol) LYN: Yours is good, too. What is it- “jing ju mei”? It’s a red tea. FYL: You should drink red tea in the winter. FYL: Don’t you think the leaves:water ratio is great? LYN: Yeah, I keep having to pull stuff out of my mouth.

3:08:11 - promoting his and FYL’s weibo accounts. subscribe if you haven’t already. LYN: Thanks for keeping us company today. FYL: If it’s your first time seeing us, we’re two eat-streamers. - checking out the speaker LYN: It looks fine? FYL: Let me play you something, then you’ll know. What should I play? LYN: Anything’s fine. The playlist from the car. - /starts playing music and FYL looks to LYN for assessment/ LYN: How much did you buy this for? FYL: 800+ LYN: It’s fake. FYL: I know. :( LYN: The weight isn’t heavy enough. FYL: Right? I thought it was too light, too.3:09:40 - the dishes are starting to come out. It’s course by course. FYL: We suddenly went from eating instant noodles to this. LYN: I thought we were really going to eat noodles!

3:10:50 LYN: Let’s… eat, then. Sorry, friends- we’re going to eat now. If you have something you can eat with us. LYN: Thank you… thank you to Xiao Fang for treating me to such a grand meal. FYL: ?? I thought we were splitting it? LYN: Oh, then we should eat separately, too. FYL: Is that how it works? XD LYN: If it were split, then you would eat more of the dishes on the table. Whoever eats the most makes the most out of it. 

- eating the dish and describing it as “it’s okay.” RIP. LYN: We were just at the aquarium and now we’re eating (chocolate) shells. - FYL listing out all the ways he discovered the speaker he bought was fake - LYN laughing at FYL for taking a drink from his tea and having to spit out a bunch of leaves - all crabs taste the same to LYN - flipped the camera because it was mirrored and people were confused why LYN was left-handed - it’s also FYL’s first time at this restaurant with their “creative” dishes (usually he just buys takeout) - talking about soup dumplings (the salty kind, not sweet) from Nanjing

FYL: What are you supposed to do in this situation? When someone has sent you a knockoff but insist that their product is real? :(

3:16:20 C: 40 million people are watching two puxin men eat dinner. LYN: One of the reasons why I rarely to eat-streams is because I think it’s impolite to be streaming while I’m eating. When I’m doing other streams, I would not eat while everyone else was. I just feel like eating isn’t right. 

3:17:12 LYN: Wow, you reserved such a nice place, thank you. FYL: It’s nothing. LYN: Thank you. FYL: Stop! If you keep saying that, I’ll be the one footing the bill! Now I’m under pressure. LYN: We’re “internet famous” aren’t we? We’re not lacking that money. FYL: Oh, is that how it is?

3:17:43 C: Ning-ge is really pale. LYN: No- the beauty filter is on. C: Introduce the dish to us. LYN: It’s just… a very delicious soup. FYL: Mushroom and seafood flavor. /desscribes it more/ FYL: /to LYN/ What do you think? I have a talent for cooking, don’t you think? :D - LYN: I feel like everything we’ve done up to this point isn’t important. Right here, this is the most important. Sitting here, eating this meal. It’s like bitter first, then sweet. Eating lotus root starch next to the lake, then having a sweet date (the fruit) for dinner. FYL: Otherwise you wouldn’t have remembered that you had such an exquisite meal tonight! If I had brought you to a restaurant to begin with, wouldn’t it seem too expected? In comparison to the lotus root starch, now don’t you feel- LYN: Wow! This meal is too amazing!! FYL: “FYL took me out to Hangzhou and then treated me to such a nice meal!” 

3:19:10 FYL: Do you have that tendency, to leave the things you like to eat the most until the end? LYN: Of course. FYL: Then have you experienced leaving it for the end, only to have it be taken by someone else before? LYN: I don’t think so. I would never eat out with people like that again. - LYN: I finally feel like I’ve entered an actual city, today. Because I’ve been in Hengdian for close to four years now, so I’ve eaten all there is to eat there already. There aren’t very many shops there, either. FYL: But one thing about it is that you can obviously see that it is much different than it was four years ago. There are a lot of new shops. LYN: Because all the other shops keep closing down. XD It’s a vicious cycle. FYL: I think the food stalls in Hengdian are pretty tasty. LYN: When we were shooting YNGS and we’d get off work at 3-4, I would go eat at the night market. - trying to figure out which night market, LYN doesn’t know the location exactly bc he doesn’t drive [t/n: Same, bro. I know things by landmarks, not streets.]

3:22:07 - FYL grabs Lotso from the carrier LYN: ?? What are you doing? FYL: It’s your birthday present. LYN: Really?? FYL: No, no. I’m joking. /takes it off camera/ LYN: It’s okay, (you can show it) since it’s Disney.

3:22:48 C: How long have you known each other? FYL: Maybe… 15 years? (shí-wǔ) LYN: Not that long. I think you need to fix your pronunciation- 4-5 years is more like it. (sì-wǔ) LYN: We came to know each other filming The Long Ballad. FYL: The first time I met you I still had no idea what you looked like. The first time I saw you, you were wearing a face mask. You were giving everyone hand sanitizer and personal protective equipment. I kept looking at you, trying to figure out what you looked like but you never took the mask off.  LYN: I was too ugly. FYL: No~ Don’t say that. LYN: We first met when shooting The Long Ballad and even after filming had ended we didn’t become close. Because we had never gotten together to eat; there were no crew gatherings during that time. The timing was pretty rushed too, so as soon as we wrapped for the day everyone would turn in to get some rest. FYL: I think I was filming another drama at the same time… so… LYN: So we didn’t meet much in private either. 

3:25:10 FYL: You eat so little, now? LYN: I’m alright. It’s just that I’ve walked a bit much today. XD I’m tired. I’ll rest a little before eating. There’s no rush. LYN: But we’ve kept in contact and then with YNGS we happened to be able to work together again. So we were able to hang out, and it turns out that we get along well.  FYL: After YNGS, we started to hang out more in private. LYN: The most important thing is that we’re able to see each other. With most artist friends it’s hard to even see them half the time. Unless we’re all shooting guzhuang dramas, then of course we could meet each other in Hengdian. FYL: I used to try to make friends after a drama with the intention of keeping in contact, but it’s hard. LYN: Yes, it’s hard. Once you’re in a crew it will be at least four months until you’re out. Once THEY enter a crew it’s at least another four months for them. FYL: Where could we meet up? If in Beijing, it’s always with the possibility that you could be holding up some of their work or vice versa. For the friends you really get along with, it could be one or two years in between meetings. But I think that Hengdian is the place that we could see each other the most often. LYN: Right, because there’s a larger gathering of actors here.

3:27:08 FYL: Do you normally like eating spicy things? Or milder things? LYN: Milder, I guess. FYL: Can you handle spice, though? Like the really spicy kind? - stream lags :p 

C: Since you’re both sitting there, why don’t you take the time to explain what you meant by “H-E.” FYL: They’re really not going to let this go.

LYN: I didn’t really want to talk about YNGS very much, because we’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. Sometimes we just try to answer questions in a joking manner. C: What were you afraid of? LYN: At the time it was- if we had told you right off the bat that everyone dies- FYL: No one would watch the drama! LYN: No one survives, we all die! Do you think people would even want to watch the drama, then? So we could only take one for the team. If you had asked us how the drama turns out, and we told you everyone died, wouldn’t you just give up right then and there? We’d have leaked the ending and destroyed the drama. LYN: But on the other hand, how ISN’T it a happy ending? Whether you’re in the “river” (pronounced “he”) that’s still an “H-E”, and in another world- a parallel universe- that’s also a happy ending. So we didn’t say anything wrong. 

3:29:20 FYL: You should make Ning-ge eat more. He’s too thin. On camera his face is pretty thin, but in real life h’es really too thin. LYN: It’s not important. - some mention of working out together FYL: Is anyone eating right now, while watching us eat? LYN: It counts as eating together. Here, let us give you a toast. LYN/FYL: Happy New Year. FYL: Does watching us make your food go down faster? LYN: Probably not, because we’re not eating it in a way that makes them want it too. - /starts imitating how eat-streamers eat things (loudly and deliciously)/ FYL: Oh, ASMR.

3:30:55 - viewers salty bc of the New Year’s stage (the part where the dancers leaned their heads on Ning-ge’s shoulders) LYN: “It’s just for work.” It’s not like I could ever princess-carry him on tv. C: So you can do it in private? LYN: No~ We’re good friends. Don’t say that or else we’ll have to start avoiding each other to dispel rumors.

3:33:00 - saying (again) how this stream counts as his b-day stream bc he’ll be busy w/ work on the 8th

3:33:30 FYL: In the new drama, is ZLS still a princess? LYN: No. -  her character is one that fishes for pearls? FYL: Then are there scenes by the ocean? LYN: Yeah. FYL: Where did you go to shoot those? LYN: In a water tent. FYL: It’d be nice if you went to Zhoushan. LYN: We might go to a different location, to get the desert (?). FYL: /naming potential locations/ FYL: I feel like in the recent years a lot of guzhuang dramas have gone to the northwest to shoot. - for the scenery, since there’s not much new to see around Hengdian.

3:35:15 FYL: Oh! I asked you earlier, but didn’t get the answer. Was the clothes you wore for new year’s one you borrowed from the drama? LYN: Yeah, I borrowed it. I found Fang (Sizhe)-laoshi’s group to borrow it. FYL: And they still have it? LYN: Yeah- one set is with Fang-laoshi, and the other is in Linmon’s warehouse. FYL: There are only two sets, right? LYN: Yep. FYL: I’m sure my clothes are torn beyond recognition. LYN: I’m sure they have it, though. One that’s new and one you wore for fight scenes.  C: Other people can’t wear it? LYN: No- they usually don’t reuse the same clothes we wear for the drama. They keep it and maybe in a few years Fang-laoshi- FYL: !! LYN: No, not you. The wardrobe designer- Fang-laoshi. Maybe he’ll want to have an exhibit and show all the clothes he’s designed for dramas. I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s what I’m thinking. FYL: It’s possible. FYL: Also the more basic articles, I feel like they’ll wait until the drama has aired and then take those clothes and repurpose them for other clothing.  FYL: But the quality/texture of the drama costumes is really much thicker than the hanfu that people can usually buy to wear. LYN: The material used to make them is probably a lot better than that used to make the clothes we’d normally buy online. Because first of all, they’re tailored, so all the materials are high quality fabrics. You’d rarely find a shop on Taobao that does the same. But I did see one- a set of tailored high-quality clothing going for 3k. Even that’s on the finer side but I’m sure that their fabrics are not as good as what was used in the drama. FYL: I’ve bought some myself before, and from the texture of the fabric- they tend to be thinner or gauze/lace-like. - discussing price and quality of clothing- including all the embroidery, beadwork, metalwork, etc. all the work and attention to detail in these pieces is in scale with the price.

3:39:05 - concert, when? wait for him to release his album first. FYL: You probably won’t have the time this year, right? I think you’re blocked up until at least July or August, right? LYN: I don’t know. I’ll have to see. I keep thinking about taking a break, like I said in the car. Even just one week would be great. FYL: Does that count as taking a break? One week??

3:40:15 LYN: Is it your first time doing a stream like this? FYL: You mean with two people? LYN: Yeah. FYL: It’s my first time. LYN: Then do you go out by yourself? FYL: I went out for my birthday. LYN: You did that? FYL: I had just gotten to Hengdian, so I was streaming myself going around. I started on the street and walked to the restaurant I wanted to eat at, but there was a long line so I went somewhere else. I just wanted to change it up from a regular birthday stream like I’ve had in the past.

3:41:17 - “give shisan more screentime” FYL: I’m here, I’m here! I’m just eating here (out of frame) and then I come back. FYL: It’s moving so fast, I can’t see what they’re saying. LYN: They just want us to eat more. Also they’re spamming “Blooming (Yi Nian Hua Kai)”, what’s that about? FYL: Yi Nian Guan Shan!! LYN: How did Blooming go? When did you film that? FYL: Before YNGS. … Was it? It was the one before the one before YNGS.  LYN: I think you were shooting a modern drama before YNGS. FYL: /confirms/

3:42:48 -LYN breaking his dish into smaller parts FYL: ? You eat such small bites? LYN: No, I’m getting full. But maybe if I look like I’m not eating that much of it I won’t have to pay the bill. LOL. LYN: I actually really like this dish, but pretend that I don’t like it so that he would not have the heart to make me pay for the meal. FYL: :O! LYN: Like, “Oh, you didn’t eat much so I’ll get the bill.” FYL: WOW! Such a dirty trick!! FYL: When we’re done eating we’re both going to sit here like this: /arms crossed, waiting for the other/ LYN: Pretend to look at our watch, take a phone call… XD FYL: It’s a little spicy. LYN: Yes, there’s some pepper in here. /picking at his food/ FYL: /looking at how little LYN is eating/ You’re eating so little I feel like this is making me look like a pig. LYN: No, no. I’m eating everything! I ate a lot. C: What were you doing before in the State of An? LYN: I had a jewelry shop. FYL: Really? LYN: /boldfaced lie/ Yeah. Or what did they say I was? FYL: Weren’t you.. a businessman? LYN: A paramour? FYL: Yeah. LYN: I wasn’t! - LYN: We acted it one way, and how you want to interpret it is whatever you want. There’s actually no fixed answer. LYN: You must not have watched the drama closely. Wasn’t there a scene where they asked me if I was a paramour, and I said, “Do you think I’m worthy, with this appearance?”  FYL: That’s called “retreating in order to advance.” (make concessions to gain advantages)LYN: Use some truth to cover lies. FYL: !! Wait a minute! I almost fell for it!!

3:46:33 - it’s a set course, so the same amount no matter how many people you have in your party. they’ll bring the leftovers back for their staff to eat. LYN: We were originally planning on having our two groups meet and have a meal altogether, but then we figured we would use the time we were eating to chat with you, since we probably wouldn’t get to while we were walking around. LYN: I don’t know if you like what we’ve done today… FYL: The original plan wasn’t like this! There were some unexpected changes of plan. LYN: But sometimes he’ll hang out in his room and chat with you, and normally I’m in my room chatting with you. So today is a special occurrence. This way two good friends- truly good friends- could hang out together and we can back each other up. It’s a more natural and slice-of-life stream. - thinking about doing some more fun streams in the future (FYL: Boxing?) LYN: One of the things we were thinking of was streaming ourselves in an escape room. But most of them- FYL: It’s too dark! LYN: Yes, first of all it’s too dark. You wouldn’t be able to see anything. Secondly, most escape rooms don’t let you record video.

3:49:24 - oopsie! (FYL: Maybe it was thinking you needed a new phone.) FYL: We has a lot of ideas, like go-karting. But it would be hard to hold the camera. LYN: I went karting with HZT once, but I watched the playback and- FYL: How did you film it? LYN: There was a third person- FYL: Outside the track! LYN: Yes. But I don’t think the viewers felt very included, that way. FYL: Yeah, they want to see the gopro aimed at your face- LYN: All of the chin jiggling. XD C: Horse riding. LYN: /nah fam/ LYN: Honestly, even when we’re shooting horse scenes in the dramas there are always setbacks. FYL: Right. It could be pretty dangerous. LYN: The danger is a given, since it’s all part of the job. But the horses in Hengdian aren’t… putting it bluntly, aren’t very good horses. They’re not any prized breed or like the horses you would see at a ranch. They work very hard- not like horses on a ranch that get fed well and washed and have mild personalities. Think about it- we film for hours on end and the horses are right there with us. They’re being pushed around, not getting to drink water- FYL: Hot in the summer and cold in the winter, and no one can help it cool down or put on any layers. LYN: So these horses work very hard and have developed pretty explosive personalities because of it. It’s a little dangerous. FYL: If you know how to ride a horse, you’ll know that the horse will mostly listen to your direction. But have you met a horse where, the director is counting down- three, two, one- and before you can do anything the horse is already moving on its own?  LYN: They understand the directives. LYN: So when I have to do a scene including a horse I always feel apprehensive. FYL: He prepares so many carrots! - every time LYN finishes shooting a scene on horseback (with all the different cuts and camera angles) he’s happy to be alive, lol. LYN: So I’m not really interested in your idea of going to a ranch to ride horses. :\

3:53:20 - other ideas: gym/workout stream. it was a thought but LYN says he would go 10 minutes then be unable to do anything else. XD but the competitive spirit would make them keep going. - FYL has a weight-set he has to put together FYL: If you don’t think it’s heay enough I can go buy more weights. LYN: No, you don’t have to. I think you have 25-50kg already, right? FYL: I think it’s 100kg on each side. LYN: I’m definitely not pushing 100kg, don’t worry. I don’t think I ever will in my life. FYL: You can by the time this drama wraps. LYN: I’d be happy if I could push 40.

3:54:57 C: Swimming stream. LYN: We didn’t even let you see the mermaid show, you think you’d get a chance to see us two Hai’er Brothers?? Don’t say you want to see a swimming stream, and just tell me directly that you want to see the Hai’er Brothers. The next streaming topic will be: Hai’er Brothers. The two of us will be bare-hested and wearing speedos, sitting by the beach? It’s really not worth it. - C: Beach Stream LYN: That could be doable. LYN: But I just can’t stand… having nothing to do. I’m talking about in the stream. Let’s say we set the phone by the sea, and then what? What do the viewers do? Just look at the water? If we do stream I just want to do something that could create good content. The aquarium today was good, because they could at least see something other than our faces. - - more ideas: LYN cooking stream, where he starts from buying the ingredients, prepping and cooking, then calling his friends over to eat it. FYL: Can I add something? How about YOU don’t buy any ingredients. You just use what your friends bring to you. They might bring you something out of the ordinary. LYN: The only problem is that most of my friends probably wouldn’t have time. I’m telling you, today’s stream was and act of heavens and stars aligning. How often is it that we both have some time off at the same time? FYL: I’m okay, but you on the other hand… 

3:57:26 - comments spamming “abs!”, LYN calling them spoiled XD 3:58:35 - idea: LEGO stream (it’d just be a camera and the sound of blocks being put together) 3:59:00 - idea: waterclor painting stream (LYN: I’d just be wasting the paints. XD) 4:00:00 - idea: camping stream

LYN: Today was pretty fulfilling and I was happy to be able to come out and wander around. Truly a day I could do nothing- I didn’t have to think about work at all. FYL: Chill. LYN: What else do you want to chat about? We’ll talk some more and then wrap it up. C: Log off when you hit 50 million viewers. LYN: That seems a little far off.

4:01:42 - chatting about spending their new year holiday with the drama crew C: Will you two collaborate again? LYN: We would have had one… but actually we always bump into each other. FYL: I think it will depend on the project… LYN: Right. There’s no need to forcefully work together. That’s something actors fear- being forced to work together, you know? The script will always take precedence, since friends can always be made. Yuo can hang out with friends all the time, but for work it’s better to choose something you like. 

4:02:50 C: Compare heights. FYL: Why would you- You want me to humiliate myself? Why should I? C: Daimi, Daimi! FYL: … ! Have you shown them how Daimi can peel the sausage herself?? LYN: They know. FYL: Wow. That’s too amazing. I’ve really never heard of a dog being able to do that.

4:03:43 C: Six Realms Hall Prequel?? LYN: I mentioned that because I was watching the drama along with all of you. At the end I felt… that we all died pretty miserably and it felt unfair. Qian Zhao, Sun Lang, Yuan Lu- it was a grievance. I didn’t want to let them go. So I wanted to ask them- why don’t we arrange our own project? We can shoot a Six Realms Hall Prequel. We could grab a DSLR and shoot it ourselves. If we don’t have enough funds, we could use our phones to record as well. We’d edit, cut, and put it all together before selling it to the platform and making some profit. X’D LYN: No, but seriously. I didn’t want to let it go, so I was thinking IF we had the chance to film a Prequel, how great would that be?? But as for how that idea is developing, I can’t say at this moment. C: You can do it. We’ll invest. LYN: Stop messing around, jiejie~ You make it seem like any project I mention in my stream, you’ll invest in. That’s terrifying. FYL: They want to be your boss. - FYL mentions wanting to see Xiao Chuan in this version LYN: A drama isn’t something that can be crowdfunded like this. It requires a lot in investment- at least 1B to START. I don’t think it’s worth it to crowdfund 1B… LYN: But we’re just saying nonsense- gossiping. Don’t take us seriously. 

4:06:35 - there’s abosultuely no way they’re streaming until midnight LYN: We’re pretty much at our limits, today. Our brains are starting to lag. - LYN leaves to use the restroom

FYL: Step-In Streamer Xiao Fang is here. C: I’ve been watching for four hours. You’ve worked hard. FYL: It wasn’t as hard for me as it was for you. - C: The tea is too light. FYL: It’s not… It’s not that I don’t want to let him drink it (give him more leaves), either. I really bought this yesterday , so I felt like if we didn’t drink it, it would go to waste. Since I don’t usually make tea for myself. Since I bought it we should at least try it, right? - C: There’s no birthday cake? FYL: I’ll get him a cake on his actual birthday. - - talking about needing to start maintaining his healthy becuase he’s getting older XD - C: Sing a song. FYL: Don’t let me make a fool of myself. - C: What drama are you currently shooting? FYL: Guess! You’ll know if you look it up online. - C: Ning-ge makes pies in the sky. FYL: What artist nowadays doesn’t?

4:09:04 - switching out FYL: We drank the whole pot of tea! LYN: That’s great, so you didn’t buy it for nothing. But that means that we’re full because we drank so much tea. 4:09:25 - planning on doing a variety show this year since he didn’t have one at all last year (soon to be filming, not a music related one) LYN: I want to do a variety show so that I can rest my brain. LYN: Music varieties are doable, but I don’t think I have enough experience. Because you have to prepare a lot- like arrangements, or think of the song and how you want to change it, get involved in the whole production of it, and I just think it would take up too much brain power. I’ll probably still be shooting the drama at the same time, so I might do a more physical/experiential-type variety show. Like going somewhere to play or sharing an experience. 4:11:00 FYL: Do you think variety shows or dramas makes you more tired? LYN: Dramas… variety shows. You’re a lot more steaday/stable with dramas, because all the time is spent in the drama and you don’t have to think of anything outside of it. On the other had variety hshows are more REALITY shows. The cameras are on ALL THE TIME and you have to remember that and keep your wits. In a variety show, your value is in what you can bring to the table- whether that’s being funny, being smart, or active. You’re constantly on the edge. 

4:11:47 - talking about LYN’s manager staff: NiuNiu (from Shanghai) and GeGe (from Hangzhou); and how he really only has a small team whose only worry is to keeping him alive and well (and working). LYN has no resources, despite what rumors say (that he’s the Devil King of the Entertainment Industry). LYN: I don’t want to reply to a lot of things, even about YNGS, because I don’t WANT to respond. I just think it’s laughable. As someone on the inside, the things that are said about me look strange. A lot of the time I don’t feel the need to respond because people inside the industry all already know what’s going on. I don’t need to make it a point to explain everything.

4:14:00  LYN: The most unusual rumor I’ve heard is that YNGS has yin-yang scripts. There’s no way- us for example, in the same drama- would have two different scripts. There’s no way that can happen, because we need to rehearse the scenes. If even one line or scene is different, we would know immediately. We all have the same script. There are no yin-yang versions. No way. We’re not idiots, either. If he’s holding his script and I just take a look at it- I would know if it were different from mine! It’s just strange. I don’t even know how such a rumor could get so blown out of proportion. For example, we’re sitting here eating this meal and you tell me there are two versions of the food.  ??? It’s all laid out in front of us- it’s all the same food.

- [t/n: that dessert looks tasty *Q*]

4:15:30 LYN: ! I have a song called “Fall in Love” right?? FYL: I saw that!! LYN: He saw it the other day and forwarded it to me. It goes “We want Fang Yilun, Fang Yilun at this moment~” (Let us Fall in Love, Fall in Love, at this moment) FYL: I opened weibo and there were all these notifications of people @-ing me, so I followed the link to see why and sure enough. I forwarded the video to him with the comment, “I know you like me, but you don’t have to say it out loud.”

- FYL recalling how he was shooting a VLOG once and then heard Ning-ge’s song (by recognizing his voice)- Magical Surprise  LYN: We were even planning on going to Disney today! FYL: It’s a little far though, right? LYN: It’s not that it’s far, but more that they don’t allow people to livestream (because of copyright issues). You COULD go, but you have to write out a whole itinerary first. Then the plans have to go through multiple levels of clearance, because safety is most important. You could go to play, you just can’t stream it. 

4:17:00 - will stop streaming when it hits 50M viewers. Subscribe to their weibos if you haven’t already. LYN: We’re both just small actors, who hope to bring roles that we like to life for you. We hope you like them and can continue to support us. FYL: If you want to hear us sing, we’re actually both singers as well. If you want to see us dance, then I’m sorry there’s nothing we can do. LYN: Isn’t your dancing pretty decent, though? FYL: No~ Remember I tried to get you to dance with me? LYN: We can try! LYN: When we were shooting YNGS, he had run this by me. That we could sing a song with some basic choreography together. We could have a good time with everybody. But then we never found a suitable song. 

4:18:20 LYN: I think the day’s been pretty fulfilling. We streamed for 4+ hours, had a good time and- thanks to our friends’ support- had some trending topics. It was a meaningful stream, and I also got treated to a meal at the end of it. FYL: !! You’re saying that so early. It’s still unclear who’s paying for all this or not. LYN: I have something to do later, so I’ll leave first. You can pack all this up. (joking) FYL: I don’t know if everyone enjoyed watching? Or maybe you were bored? But in any case the two of us had a relaxing time. But if you can still enjoy a stream like this, maybe next time we can arrange another one if time allows. LYN: Yeah- it doesn’t need to be because of a birthday. We could discover something fun and want to share with you. I know many of you are working or going to school and you can’t afford to travel and look around (so we’ll take you with us). It’s just like chatting with friends, only on a huge platform like weibo where we can’t be too relaxed and need to watch what we say, a little bit. If we’re too relaxed then people can easily find something to use against us, and then we’ll be cursed at again. Please, spare us.

4:20:10 FYL: You can’t see the number (of viewers) from here, can you? LYN: I can. FYL: Wow, then your eyesight is better than mine!! LYN: I can see them typing clearly, too. FYL: You must not have watched a lot of tv when you were little. LYN: Right, I didn’t watch any.

C: I like your string of beads. LYN: Don’t even think about it. If you like them, go buy your own. I won’t be giving these to you. FYL: When it hits 50M, I’ll make the decision for you and pick a random fan to win the beads. XD FYL: Kidding! I’m kidding!

4:21:00 - people telling him happy b-day in advance~ LYN: Thank you! FYL also came to help me celebrate. Today is the 6th, and the 8th is my birthday. But I won’t be streaming on the 8th; I think I’ll have a lot to shoot. So I’ll thank you in advance, as well. LYN: At times like this, shouldn’t the door open and a cake get rolled in? I can’t believe there’s no cake surprise! Normally, we would be chatting and then all of a sudden- (a cake comes)- and I should say, “Ohh! I’m so touched!” and then cry, then make a wish in front of all of you, then blow out the candles. “Thank you all for keeping me company!” That’s what I should be doing, but I guess not. FYL: We can go to the convenience store and buy a bread and stick a lighter in it. 

4:22:27 LYN: Today was quite nice. I know a lot of my friends are from Hangzhou- I’m sure I have fans here- and you didn’t all come find me, so I’m very thankful. Thank you. FYL: And then you find out they’re waiting to ambush you in Hengdian. LYN: No, no. They wouldn’t do that. They’re very good. FYL: “I couldn’t find you in Hangzhou, but in Hengdian I will never let you off the hook.”4:23:20 C: How about you sing a song? LYN: Come one, let’s sing. You sing something. FYL: What should I sing? LYN: Whatever you want to. Otherwise you bought the 800RMB knockoff speaker for nothing. You have to make the most of it. Sing something worth at least 800. FYL: What should we sing…? What do YOU want to sing? LYN: Something worth 800. I don’t know, anything’s fine. C: 走天涯 FYL: How does that song go? LYN: /sings/ No, not this one. Let’s change. You can choose. Whatever you want. LYN: He likes to sing. Sincerely someone who loves music. FYL: I really can’t think of anything. You pick one. LYN: You can’t think of ANYTHING? Then how about 奉上? FYL: Okay! 奉上, it is! LYN: We’ll use this song as today’s ending. - LYN: Singing in a restaurant, I’m so happy. It’s like we drank too much. FYL: We got drunk on tea. LYN: Self-brought tea will do that to you. - the first notes of the song start playing FYL: I feel like I can’t hold on anymore, I’m about to go (die)! LYN: Why? Oh- because once you hear this music you’re putting on the blindfold. FYL: It’s sending me off! - FYL: I need to sing it properly. LYN: No, it’s okay. We can’t let too loose. Otherwise the other room is gonna think there are lunatics in here. - ♫♪ FYL: The lyrics to this song are really hard!

LYN: We want to thank everyone for their support and their company. I’m happy to be able to spend four and a half hours with you. I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope your whole month goes splendidly. I’ll see you again in the next stream! Goodnight, everyone. Bye bye! FYL: Happy New Year, everyone! And Happy Birthday to Ning-ge! LYN: Thank you. LYN/FYL: Goodnight everyone! Bye bye!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for how I got a friend? So this is messy and I’ll admit that but hear me out. Some of the details may be identifying so I’m trying to be as vague as possible, and I’m hoping Tumblr isn’t as public as Reddits AITA.

I have a coworker named Brian. Brian is a giant dick and an asshole, and most people don’t like him. About a year ago, the company we work for had a mixer where we could bring significant others, and Brian brought his girlfriend, Maddie (not her real name.) I fell really hard for her. She’s so cool, her hair is cool, her style is cool, she has a really cool science-y job. She’s witty and beautiful and I fell for her hard, and I didn’t understand why she was with this loser. I have a feeling the relationship isn’t healthy, but I figured I wouldn’t gain any points with her by trying to break them up or getting her to cheat. At first I was willing to wait it out to see if they would break up but it’s been a year and they’re still together. A few months ago I decided to take the L and start dating to try to get over her. I don’t follow her on social media and I try to avoid Brian at work.

Here’s where I kinda fucked up. A few weeks after I met her (about a year ago) I was going through her instagram and I saw that she had a brother who works at a (niche home installation) company. My dads been wanting (thing) so I recommended the brothers company to him. Her brother ended up doing the installation. I visited my dads place after work because I wanted to see the new (thing) and see how it worked and her brother was still there and walked me through it. I noticed he was wearing a Star Wars shirt and I struck up a conversation about Star Wars and we ended up having a conversation for a while about book of boba fett (and how bad it was) and we ended up exchanging numbers. We talk regularly now because it’s nice to talk to someone with similar interests. We’ve become pretty good friends and we’ve hung out a few times. I feel kinda bad about it and I haven’t told him the story. He also doesn’t think much of his sisters boyfriend but I haven’t said anything. I think I would be the asshole if I was using him to get to his sister, but if I’m trying to get over her am I still the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[mingiswow]

Color this cold world | Jeong Yunho

Pairing: Yunho x gn!reader (reader has a vagina)

Genre: smut, post-apocalyptic, dystopic, porn with a little of plot

Word count: ~4k

Warnings: mentions of death, weapons, fight, blood, wounds and murder, mentions of father and mother figures, reader doesn’t believe in god, reader is shorter than him, many pet names it gets sickening, not proofread, smut

Smut Warnings: oral (reader receiving), fingering, piv, protected sex, choking, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, slight degradation, Yunho has a big dick, uses of pet names (baby, bunny, etc), semi-public sex if I forgot anything let me know

A/n: I’m going through a Yunho and Seonghwa brain rot ever since the concept photos were released and when the mv came out I HAD to write something. It’s not completely inspired by Ateez universe (also because I still don’t understand a single thing about the storyline and tbh gave up, I’m too old for this lol), but a little inspired by the mv, and the dystopian novels I grew up reading, so if anything sound similar it might be that. 

⚠️ English is not my first language, so sorry if there's any grammatical error

↪ Feedback is always welcomed

Materlist | Ask

⇉Minor DNI ⇇

You paced around the little room. The skin around your nails already hurting from how much you’ve been biting them while waiting for any news from your boyfriend and his friends.

You looked over the small dirty window and saw the grey and ashy sky of the country. You don’t even remember seeing the sun, ever since the revolution started years ago and the opponent side won, the world have turned into a big mess of ashes and destruction, the few pieces of vegetation existing being the small weeds that besides all the pollution and destruction rose upon the cement cracks and dry soils. They are, somehow, the reason you still believe in a better future. And Yunho.

You still remember how you met him and the others, your father was one of the heads behind the rebellion against the state, always busy trying to make this destruction stop. He was a very smart man and raised you and your older brother alone after your mother left you three to run away with the chief of the opponents when you were born. Your dad recruited young children and teenagers who wanted to fight, and Yunho was one of them. 

He was your age, his chubby cheeks fuller to make him look stronger but his eyes and the way his knuckles were white from hilding into a fist betrayed him. 

The first time you had contact was when you helped his wound a few months after he joined the rebellion, you were one of those responsible for the nursing, alongside his friend Jongho, that joined with him.

“Are you okay, man?” the younger asked and he nodded, clearly scared.

“If you want to be part of this, you’ll have to be stronger. The state army have no fear nor remorse, not even for young people like us” you stated as you prepared the gauze to clean the cut. “I know it’s hard” he nodded and held all the pain he could. That day he promised to fight not only for his family and friends, but for you as well.

As the years passed by, the young chubby boy you used to know grew to be one of the best body combat fighters as well as shooter, his body now tall and well built made every one swoon over him. When your dad and brother were killed, Yunho was the one that held you close and wiped your tears, the one that soothe your pain away and made sure you were strong enough to go back to your duty as the head nurse. All while assuming the combat training chief position. 

So when you looked at the watch in your wrist and saw that Yunho was more than half an hour late you panicked. You didn’t even believe in god but started praying for him to come home safe and sound to your arms. 

Him, Seonghwa, Hoongjoong, San and Yeosang went to a mission on the frontier a week ago and you marked to meet in the spot this very day at 3pm but so far no news of him or the others. The minutes seem to pass one by each hour yet, at the same time, to fly fast. 

It was past 4pm, your eyes betraying you and watering down on the thought of losing Yunho, the hope was almost gone but then a loud noise scared you. The first thought being that they came to get you. The enemies. You stood quiet in your corner of the room, listening to the noises that seemed to be happening a few floors under the one you were. You hugged your legs and more tears spilled as you expected the worst to fund you. 

And then you heard silence. Everything went quiet. The only sound being your fastened heartbeat and steps that came closer and closer by second. You closed your eyes and waited.

“Yn? Yn, are you here?” You recognized Seonghwa’s voice and immediately jumped into his arms to hug your friend. “Hey hey hey. It’s fine, big brain. We’re back” he hugged you back and let you cry on his shoulders seeing how overwhelmed you were. 

“What happened? Why are you guys late? Where's the rest? Where's Yunho? Is he okay? Please tell he’s fine and safe and-“

“Yn, calm down” the tall man held your shoulders. “We were surprised by an enemy troop while almost arriving at the gates. We had to wait till we could attack”

“And what were those noises before you entered?” 

“There were more of them waiting for us here, thankfully they didn’t know you were here as well otherwise…” he went quiet and you understood what he meant. Seonghwa always has been the reason in the group, always making sure everyone was both physically and mentally well. 

“And where’s Yunho? And the others?” 

“They are back at the HQ, Hongjoong, San, and Yunho were hurt a little. But they’re fine!” He was quick to add seeing your eyes widen when he mentioned your boyfriend’s name. “Let’s go back eh? I know you want to see him” you nodded and quickly started to go down the stairs, a few dead men over the floors and some of your people collecting everything useful they had. 

You couldn’t help but notice the number of dead men, especially on the first floor and your heart squeezed thinking about how many of these Yunho and the boys had to fight knowing that they were at a disadvantage. “There were many but you know how good San is with traps and Yeosang in bulk killing” Seonghwa spoke as he could read your thoughts. You nodded and sat in the passenger seat of his van, more anxious than before. 

As soon as the van stopped in front of the nurse HQ you jumped out of the vehicle and ran to find Yunho. 

“Wing four” you hear someone scream to you and you went straight to the place. 

You opened the door and there he was, sitting naked on top of the doolie, his back facing you and you could see some cuts, burns and scratches.  He heard your footsteps and turned around, a smile finding its way on his lips amidst the dry blood and wounds. 

He left the bed and opened his arms for you to hug him and before you could even think about hurting him more, you ran to his arms, burying your face in his chest and crying all over again. 

“Sh, little one. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” he caressed your hair and kissed the top of your head. 

“You scared me, I almost thought I had lost you” you confessed to him, feeling the anxiety finally leave your body, legs becoming a bit weak after the tension vanished.

“I’m not going anywhere, love” he held your face between his hands, making you look into his eyes and wiped your tears, his smile never leaving his lips. “I love you too much to simply leave you like this, you have to make more effort to get rid of me” 

You chuckled, even after being beaten and hurt, even after almost dying, he still had the energy to be playful and make you feel better. “I love you so much, Yunho” he nodded, pecking your nose. “I love you too, my love”.

You kept in each others’ arms for some time, just enjoying the presence and warmth of your bodies before you remembered you had to treat his wounds and clean him. 

“Go to the bath to clean the dirt and relax your muscles. I’ll grab the things to clean your wounds and patch you up, k?” 

While he did as you said, you grabbed the necessary items from the other room and prepared some ointments and medications.

“Were you waiting for me to come and stitch you?” You asked as you entered back the room, putting everything in its place and going with gauze and some antiseptic spray to disinfect the cuts and bruises. You sat at the edge of the tub, bending towards the bigger cut in his chest. 

“Always. Only my little bunny knows how to treat me” he sniffed your neck making your skin shiver. 

“You could have had an infection with that” you could feel him tense up his muscles under your touch as you spread the ointment and analyzed if it needed stitches. He smirked when he saw you bite your lips when you felt his broad chest in your hands. You always have been obsessed with Yunho’s body and, for some wicked reason, every time you saw him with some type of bruise your body heated all up knowing that those were symbols of his strength and that he could kill someone with his bare hands. 

“I knew it was not that bad. Besides…” he slowly ran his fingers through your exposed arms and legs, the hairs getting bristly at the touch. He smirked. “I was dying to touch you” 

“You almost died and that’s all you can think of?” you were scolding him but deep down your thoughts were the same. Such as that you locked the door before entering the bath area. That also didn’t go unnoticed by the man. 

“Of course! What if I died before claiming you mine one last time?” He put you on his lap inside the bath, wetting your whole uniform.

“Yunho! My clothes!”

“I’m gonna take them off anyways, bunny, you won’t need them to be dry” his lips attacked your neck, kissing, licking, biting, marking you like a hungry animal with his prey. “The last thing you should be right now is dry”. You threw your head back and enjoyed the touch of his lips on your skin. You had missed him dearly. 

His hands started to roam your body up and down and you could feel and see his erection underneath you. The cold bath water already welcoming the warmth in your body, cooling the fire that seemed to consume you both. 

Finally, his lips met yours, hungry and desperate, fighting against yours as he needed your air to live, teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance. His hands held your hips strongly and started to rub your clothed core against his dick that you could feel hard even under the thick fabric of your pants. “Fuck baby, all I could think about while fighting those men was coming home alive so I could fuck you senseless” Yunho whispered in your ears as he kept you rubbing yourself on him. “Did you miss me, bunny? Did you miss my cock buried in your pussy?” You could only nod, too caught up in the feeling building at the pit of your belly. “Are you already close? Are you that cock starved that just rubbing your cunt on me is enough?”

You did not answer, not being able to form any sentence, everything coming out of your mouth being nonsense babbles and moans.

It didn’t matter how many times Yunho had touched you or made love to you, every single time felt like the first. He had a special power in making you putty in his hands just by touching you, whispering dirty things into your ears. He knew exactly how to get you worked up and desperate for him. 

But on his side it wasn't any different. Every time his nervous system felt the texture of your skin on his hands it was like he had never touched something so sublime, it was almost as if he could taste you in the tips of his calloused fingers. The roughness of your skin was something he could only feel by touching. The years of helping people and handling the apocalypse that became this earth marked up in your body, in the way your skin reacted to his touch, the scars of your own battles adorning you like you were a hand-crafted fabric. He loved each and every part of you. The visible and invisible signs of your strength, determination and will. He loved the strong and determined person you were. He could admire you for days but he always thought that nothing showed his love and adoration for you as the way he made love to you. 

And that’s exactly what he was planning to do. 

The man started taking your wet clothes away from your body, slowly, feeling every inch and bump from your skin. The shirt being the first one, the fabric clinging to your wet body like a vice but Yunho was more vicious than a simple shirt. 

Your chest, now fully in disposal, rising up and down with your uneven breath caught his eyes immediately and he listened to his intrusive thoughts and dipped his face in between them, smelling your scent and enjoying the warmth of your skin. 

You reached his face and grabbed with both hands, making him look at you. His eyes black, dilated with lust yet still covered in love. “I love you, Yunho” you spoke in a whisper, joining your foreheads. His smile was bright as he nodded and joined your lips in a slow and sweet kiss. The one he expects to feel the day you get to get married. “I love you too”. 

He kissed you again as his right hand enclosed what he could get of your left boob, squeezing and massaging it. You cut the kiss to breathe, throwing your head back. Yunho took advantage of your position to put your other breast in his mouth. Sucking it, biting it, and licking it. You were far too gone in the pleasure, your hips starting to move again on top of his dick, making him moan on your chest, the vibrations sending shivers down your body and concentrating in between your legs, your walls closing against nothing. 

Your boyfriend kept his assault on your chest for a few minutes, enjoying the way he could make you squirm just by playing with your boobs. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. 

When he was satisfied with the purple marks all over your chest he lifted you both up from the tub and took you to the bed he was previously on, sitting you and standing between your legs. He started kissing you again, his mouth and hands eager for you. “Baby please do something” you moaned against his mouth and grabbed his hands to put on top of your clothed core. “I need you"

“Your wish is my command, Princess” he gave you one last kiss before getting on his knees and taking your pants and panties off. The cool air hitting your labia and making you shiver in anticipation. He gently opened your legs more so he could be inside them, his lips ever so gently touching your inner thigh. Yunho was a strong man and he knew you loved when he used that on you, so he grabbed your legs and pulled you closer to his face, thighs resting on his shoulder as his lips finally touched where you wanted the most. His tongue licking from bottom to top, lapping every single drop of your wetness that rested there. To him, your taste was the same as dionysus wine should taste, bittersweet, intoxicating and addicting, he could live just with your taste. 

His fingers spread your labia open as he made sure to give a powerful suck at your clit, a particularly loud moan leaving your lips as you quickly covered them trying not to be too loud. He kept his assault at your clit, alternating between circling and licking up and down and left to right, spelling the whole alphabet against your little bundle of nerves that sent desperate signals to your brain, the fire in the pit of your stomach rising dangerously fast. When he felt you squirming against him, he held you down on the bed and lowered his attack to your hole, entering it with the tip of his tongue, provoking you, tickling your insides, making you want more. 

“Baby, fuck, please” you managed to moan out in midst all the pleasure. “Do something, please” he chuckled but nevertheless he gave what you wanted, what you needed, and started to fuck you with his tongue, thumb going to your clit and drawing circles to help with your pleasure. Your moans started to get louder and louder, your hands that covered your mouth were now attached to your boyfriend’s hair, pulling his face closer to your vulva. You were so lost in the feeling. The fire in your belly snapped and you came undone in his mouth, him never stopping his movements, riding you through your orgasm. His mouth then replaced his thumb and he inserted two fingers knuckles deep inside you. An obscene scream left you as you felt your belly tighten again.

“You’re doing so well for me, bunny. Such a good girl taking everything I give. Can you give me another orgasm, huh?” His deep voice praised you, his fingers going faster and faster inside you, your clit swollen and sensitive from all the pleasure and friction against it. Your voice betrayed you, a high gasp coming out instead as you nod your head. Legs shaking on top of his shoulder. 

Soon enough another orgasm waved through your body, leaving you already in shambles on top of him. Yunho helped you ride out your orgasm again, this time stopping his ministrations and getting on his feet again. 

He kissed your lips, making you taste yourself in his tongue, your mind dizzy with pleasure. “I could taste you all day, bunny. But my little friend down here needs a little help” you chuckled at his words and pulled him close to you again, locking his hips with your legs and rubbing your sensitive vulva on his dick. You hissed at the feeling, still sensitive with the previous orgasms. “Can you take me, Princess? Or are you still too sensitive?” 

“I can always take you, baby” you grabbed his dick in your hand and started to put the condom on him, torturing him with how slow you were sliding the piece and how sometimes you’d squeeze his member in the process. “After all, you were the one who got me addicted to your dick, isn’t it? Made me your cock slut”

“Fuck yn don’t talk like that” you smirked at his reaction and aligned the tip of his dick in your entrance. 

He slowly pushed inside you, the burning of the stretch making you lay your back flat on the bed, hands grabbing the sheets. To say Yunho was gifted with his dick was just a fact. He was just the right size for you but it was the girth that always made you cry. In a good way. In a delicious way actually. No matter how much he preps you, stretches you open with his fingers, nothing will compare to him slowly entering you until he’s balls deep inside you. He always waits for you to get used to his size and start moving by yourself. 

“You are made for me, baby bun. Your pussy was made for me, wasn’t it?” He pulled you by the back of your neck close to him, foreheads glued as your eyes stared at each other. His hips ever so deliciously moving at a punishing slow pace, getting as deep as he could. 

“Faster… please” you moaned and threw yourself back against the bed, back arching with the feeling. “Need… more…”

“Is my baby cock drunk already? Can’t even speak properly?” He mocked you but still gave you what you wanted, pistoning his hips against you, one of his hands going to your clit and the other wrapped around your neck. Your eyes rolled at the overstimulation, feeling so much at the same time. “Good god bunny you look so hot right now. Wish you could see yourself, all fucked out and cock dumb for me. Such a good girl. Go on baby, cum for me again. I know you can do it” you nodded desperately, a string of whispered yes leaving your lips as you felt the burning feeling take you over for the third time and snap a few minutes after. Your juices starting to fall down your legs, an obscene squelch sound reverberating in the room as you weren’t even able to moan anymore. 

Suddenly Yunho took his dick out of you and before you could even question it, he turned you around, bending you on the bed, legs falling wobbly from the edge. “I’m not finished yet, bunny” he spread your ass cheeks and entered you again, the new position and the sensitivity almost knocking you out, eyes wet with tears of pleasure as he went even faster this time. “If you give me another orgasm I’ll reward you. So be a good girl and cum again, okay?” You nodded, body too weak to resist. 

Yunho then slithered his hand under your chest and pushed you flush against his chest, his hand once again going up to wrap around your throat, getting you even more dizzy and light headed than before. 

“Yunho… p- please” your voice was hoarse and low, the next orgasm ready to snap at your pussy once again. 

The man wasn’t so far from coming himself, his cock twitching inside of you and you both could feel your highs approaching and his thrusts losing its rhythm. He let go of your chest and neck, letting you fall limp onto the bed as he grabbed your hips to get more stability. 

He kept thrusting, a bunch of profanities and praises to you leaving his mouth as he came, his hips losing its speed but going as deep as he could. His right hand reached your clit with some difficulty and started playing with it to help you reach your high as well, his hips never stopping its slow and deep thrusts. 

Within seconds you reached your fourth and last orgasm of the night. Your whole body aching in delicious pain and overstimulation. Little whimpers left your mouth and finally Yunho stilled inside of you and felt on top of you, his weight being comforting against your completely gone body. 

“I fucking love you so much” he whispered against your ear, leaving small ticklish kisses against it. 

“I fucking love you so much too, Yunho” you smiled against the bed, sighing happily. 

After a few minutes he lifted himself and got out of your body, going to the bathroom to take the condom out and clean himself. He damped a piece of cloth and came to clean you, careful not to hurt you. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to exist after today” you chuckled as he cleaned you, your whole body aching now that the pleasure was gone and the adrenaline went down. 

“I’m sorry, bunny. I went a little overboard” he gently kissed your shoulder blades, caressing your back. 

“No, I loved” you tried to move but your legs were still weak. He grabbed you and put you on top of the bed, throwing the wet cloth away before laying by your side and cuddling you. “I missed you so much” you whispered as you played with his fingers wrapped around your tummy. 

“I missed you too” he deep sighed and held you stronger. “I just want this to end so we can have a peaceful life” you nodded, your eyes getting heavy. “I can’t wait for us to be free and have a huge farm with many animals and our little kids running around and playing with no fear and worries in their life” Yunho nudged his face against your neck, scenting you and feeling his chest warm with love and hope. 

“Soon, baby. Soon” you said as you both drifted asleep, both dreaming with a better world and a future together. 

----------------------

"Have you guys seen yn?" Jongho asked his friends as he helped the hurt soldiers that came back that day, San hissing at the feeling of the antiseptic spray sting. Seonghwa just chuckled as he exchanged looks with San and Yeosang. "Again? Great! Now I'll have to clean all that wing again because Yunho can't hold his dick inside his pants". The man rolled his eyes as the others laughed at how predictable the couple was.

[devildom-persephone]

More about Persephone’s character

Age: 8 years old(in human years)

Height: 4’5

Favorite color: purple

Favorite animal: Dogs

Personality: Very cheerful and bright. Absolutely no bad thoughts in that head whatsoever. She wears her heart on her sleeve and overall trusts everyone!

What she looks like:

Backstory:

Persephone is the daughter of Diavolo. She’s a child born out of wedlock. No one in the Devildom knows how it happened and Diavolo doesn’t mention anything about it either. All that is known however, was a women was brought to the castle hidden in a cloak with a baby in her arms. This was the last time she was seen by the public.

A week later, a search party was sent out looking for the cloaked women. She was however never found, leaving no physical or magic trace behind. All that was left was a baby, who was definitely Diavolo’s daughter.

Any rumors going around Persephone were quickly taken care of. Not a single bad word was said about her since.

Relationships:

Diavolo: That’s my dad! I love my dad ^^!

I like when he picks me up and throws me in the air hehe! He also takes me flying around the Devildom sometimes!

Barbatos: Baba! He tells me funny stories hehe! He’s also my friend! :D

Baba makes great desserts! I like his fruit tarts the best. ^^ He also reads me bedtime stories if daddy is too busy to do so!

Mephistopheles: Mephie! He’s funny hehe

I spend time with his little brother sometimes when Daddy is too busy and Baba needs someone to watch me temporarily. He gives me head pats too!

Lucifer: Luci. HE TAKES MY DADDY AWAY INTO HIS OFFICE DOING “adult things.” 😒 Baba says I can’t disturb them. I think I heard a crash one time in there.

Mammon: Momo or mammie. He’s cool! I like to braid his hair hehe!

He gets to do all these photoshoots and I get to see him on magazines! He tried to convince me to get him some treasure from the castle a few times though…

Leviathan: Levi. Levi is alright.

He lets me play on some of his games and watch anime with me sometimes. One anime was called “missy princess cutie and her great adventuring companions but oh no a dragon attacked and now missy princess must save her friends before they get sacrificed by a cult”

Satan: Tan Tan! He reads books to me and talks about cats hehe

I don’t like when he’s angry it scares me :(

Asmodeus: Assie! Hehe he gives me makeovers and I get to try on pretty dresses!

Me and him take a lot of pictures for devilgram! He says I’m pretty popular ^^

Beelphegor: Beel. I like Beel because he keeps picking me up whenever I ask. He also gives me yummy food!

Hehe I remember one time I was at one of his games and when he won I ran up to him and I got spun around!

Belphegor: Belphie. He keeps falling asleep on me :(

One time he said he was tired and he leaned on me and he got too heavy so he laid on top of me 😠 HE WAS EVEN LAUGHING!!!!

Simeon: Simeon makes me feel really safe when he’s around!

I like his stories most of all! They’re funny and really interesting hehe!

Luke: He gives me cookies whenever he makes some! All of the desserts he has made tasted really good!

Solomon: Sol. He’s interesting

No one lets me taste his cooking, but with the way it looks, I don’t think I want to try it 🗿 He also does funny magic tricks for me

Raphael: Raphie! He let me hold one of his spears before!

Onetime I dressed up as a hedgehog for Halloween and he followed me like a guard dog haha!

[weywookitswestwood]

HEYYO I FINISHED MY VIV CHARACTER ANALYSIS/BIO/HCS!! +18

(UPDATE: I added a few more hcs cuz I forgot to add them. I might remember more so expect the list to get a little longer)

Just putting a few content warnings out there before you go on scrollin’, there are some nsfw hcs down below so if you’re under 18, you’re in the wrong place. Also there is some mentions of family em*tional *buse and trauma so please skip if you don’t wanna read. Anyways, please enjoy~

Full name: Viviano Westwood (wasn’t born with a middle name)

Nicknames: Westwood, V, Viv, Vivi(don’t ever call him this, he’ll get mad), Vivikins(Or this), Big Guy/Fella/Lug, Vivano, Vibiano, Fabiano, Steve, Eastwood, Winwood, Jarhead(on second thought, only refer to him as either Westwood, V, or Viv)

Stand: Planet Waves (DISC)

Birthday: July 31st, 1983

Zodiac: Boar

Age: 28

Height: 6’1 (186 cm)

Nationality: American (Mostly of English and a bit of Italian descent)

Occupation: G. D. St. Prison guard

Personality: Large and in charge… sort of. Values brawn over brains. Not meaning he’s stupid, he’s just a simple man. Lacks in direction, both figuratively and literally. Because of his physical strength and his simple nature, he gets treated like an ox, whether it be from his parents or his job. Due to his upbringing, he has difficulty opening up or being sentimental. Instead, he copes through anger such as punching walls or snapping at people. He sees crying or being vulnerable as signs of weakness, another result from his upbringing. Likes to antagonize weak targets or criminals to make himself feel better. He claims he turned to the justice system because he wanted to keep evil people locked up for good from the public. That could be true, BUT others around him know there’s more to it than the reason he gives. Behind this mask, he’s an insecure and lonely man. Doesn’t have a spouse or kids or pets. He can be sociable, but doesn’t have any close friends. His love life is zero to none. He relishes in the heat of the moment, but once the discussion of marriage or starting a family is brought up, he’s out the door. Despite his flaws, he’s strong, resilient and yearns for excitement in his life. Perhaps being with the right people, he can find himself underneath that cold exterior and be a nicer, happier guy.

Favorite musician: Earth, Wind, & Fire, The Marshall Tucker Band(he’s a closeted country fan), and not a fan of the singer but he likes Fantasy by Mariah Carey

Favorite book: Playboy magazine

Favorite food: Anything SPICY

Background: Viviano was born in 1983 in Texas to a military veteran father and a hairdresser mother. From the time he was in diapers to 12 years of age, he lived a strict military lifestyle. No, his father wasn’t physical towards Viviano, but their relationship was better described as a “drill sergeant and cadet” dynamic than a “father and son” one. Basically this meant raising Viv how to be a “man” like teaching him how to use a gun at 4 years old and berating him if he began to cry. If there was one thing Viviano feared the most… it was his father. He had a close relationship to his mother, even being labeled a “momma’s boy” by his dad.

By 12, his parents divorced and he chose to go with his mother to Florida, not before his father called him a “disappointment”. For seven years, Viviano lived with his mom in Port Orange, Florida, being enrolled in junior high. While not as bad as his father and at times would be overly affectionate, his mom did boss him around. He was a growing boy after all, he was able to reach and physically do things that she couldn’t. At school, teachers looked down at him as a strong, yet intellectually incompetent boy, who could care less about his grades. Not only that, he needed to boss someone like how his parents bossed him, so he made a name for himself as a bully. He would continue to pick on classmates all through high school until his grades were so abysmal he had to be held back in his senior year and didn’t graduate until the year 2002 when he was about 19. Both of his parents were ashamed of this news.

After graduating high school, he tried to join the military but after three months of boot camp, he left. His father called him a “lost cause”. It was the most humiliating moment of his life. He got a job at a Miami customs house and was there for years until he was let go. He wouldn’t tell anyone why but supposedly it was due to his temper. At 25, he got a job as a prison guard at the Green Dolphin State Prison.

Random headcanons: (Warning: some are sfw/nsfw)

SFW:

-Has a bit of a gambling addiction

-Only child

-Not the best driver, gets worked up if he misses his turn

-Mf doesn’t wear socks (I know I bring this up constantly as a joke but this is canon)

-His mom cuts his hair

-Overheats easily, he’s always warm to the touch not even an ice bath will cool him down

-Big sports fan, especially football and baseball, his favorite teams are the Dallas Cowboys and the Miami Marlins, respectively

-Has a really bad habit of cracking his knuckles

-Has naturally long eyelashes

-Doesn’t really have any talents besides bench pressing and being strong

-He can be self conscious about trivial things like being insecure about the size of his hands (he’s afraid of having small hands)

-Accidentally punched his grandma in the chest after tickling him too hard (she was okay just had to go to the hospital for a small fracture in her ribcage)

-Misses living in Texas

-He had a bit of a Texan accent growing up, it’s mostly gone but it’ll randomly come up when his voice cracks

-Sucks at flirting

-Doesn’t have a filter

NSFW:

-Not a virgin

-If you ask him who he’s into, he would say women but secretly, he’s a bit curious if ya catch my drift

-Doesn’t really have a type as long as the woman is of age, consenting, and isn’t a bitchy hag

-Likes being the dominant one when it comes to… ahem, the bed

-He likes to make anything into a “battle”; sex, play wrestling, tickle fights, etc. he’ll do whatever it takes to make his partner submit (psst hey you, yeah you, there’s a way to beat him, he’s super ticklish on his belly, ribs, and feet, get him in one of his death spots, he’ll be sobbing for mercy)

-Frequently gets hard ons, even in the most inconvenient of times (at work)

-Likes to be on top, but is nice enough to be a service top too

-Loves a partner who’s either a switch or just as domineering as he is

-One of his kinks is bondage, loves the idea of cuffing up his partner and letting his hands roam all over their body

-Can see him being a foot guy (dunno why, just cuz I guess); prefers to give than to receive because he’s ticklish but will be okay receiving it if his partner really wants to; but he loves foot jobs

-His favorite thing (I’m sorry everyone)… is CBT; any chance his partner is grabbing or crushing him down there, he’s on cloud nine (this part was honestly painful to write)

-Loves oral, receiving that is (but he likes to give as well)

[thyandrawrites]

You know, in the hug between Dabi and Shoto, although I know Dabi was teasing Shoto about burning him alive, etc. But after watching the newest episode and looking back on that scene, would Shoto be in pain if Dabi was hurting him in that moment? Or was he implying he was going to hurt him? I know Shoto has a high pain tolerance, but killing Shoto was never Dabi’s priority and you can see in future chapter he’s willing to tell his story. Sorry, this comment doesn’t really make sense, but what did you think of the hug scene I guess?

you're not going to like my answer, anon.

Now, preface: I don't think Dabi is a callous person or a ruthless monster, and I don't think he's too far gone and insane. Please don't take what follows as an attempt to demonize him because it's really not. But I think it's important to discuss the wrongs in his actions instead of brushing them off as something he didn't mean.

I don't think Dabi was just teasing him about burning him alive. He actually hurt Shouto significantly enough; in the aftermath of the war we see him with his head and throat covered in bandages, and he can’t speak properly because of his injuries. Shouto does have more resistance to fire than his brother, but Dabi’s fire is much hotter than his, and even a fairly short exposure to it didn’t leave him unharmed. I believe Dabi would've gone with a killing blow if Enji hadn’t passed out after hitting Machia; or in the most recent arc, if his body had held up long enough to propel him to Enji afterward. to quote what I said to a friend in dms: 

Right now Dabi is using murder as a way to “leave a mark on this world”

that is, he’s killing to fill the emptiness in his life, to give himself a purpose for why he’s still alive even after outliving his usefulness. Just like how Hawks justifies killing Twice over and over to give himself a purpose as a hero who protects the country, even after Dabi burned his wings and pushed him past his physical prime (which was instrumental to doing his job as a hero). 

But murdering Shouto obviously cannot give Dabi the recognition he aims for, in much the same way murdering Jin didn’t give Hawks the the public acclaim he hoped for: 

simply because those things aren’t solutions; they’re just fucked up mentalities and moralities born out of trauma that each of them adopts to deal with the hand they were dealt in life. So imho brushing off that Dabi actually wanted Shouto dead makes us ignore a significant portion of his issue that needs addressing in the story. His grudge was never with Shouto, and it is entirely fucked up to take it out on his little brother, especially since Dabi knows Shouto is as much of a victim as he is. Again, just like how it’s fucked up of Hawks to take out his daddy issues on Jin for refusing a hero’s help, just because he sees his parents' “brokenness” reflected in that mentality that is stubbornly against “doing the right thing”.

At the same time, though, I want to point out that Dabi only “wants Shouto dead” on the condition that Enji is there to see it. If his grudge had been against the kid per se, he could’ve targeted him at any point in time. Particularly during the attack at summer camp. But Shouto barely enters his radar, and any harm he wants to cause to him is always instrumental to breaking his father’s spirit, to devastating Endvr by taking the source of his pride and crushing it. 

So I do think that if Dabi had found a better way to get back at his dad, he would’ve left Shouto alone. But it’s important to acknowledge the ‘if’. So far, Dabi didn’t make the conscious choice to spare his brother, much less out of any regard for Shouto’s personhood. If anything, I’d say that he has yet to acknowledge that Shouto is a person in his own right. So far, he’s still thinking of him as an addendum of his revenge, an extension of his grudge against Enji, and a puppet completely under his father’s thumb. And that’s precisely why he’s able to detach himself from the idea of killing his brother, blood of his blood, victim of the same shitty parenting.  

[moonshynecybin]

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how vale has a strange relationship with his parents and how his dad is not really the best father and sees his son as something that he can brag about to his friends. But I was wondering if you had any thoughts on or know anything about Marc’s parents and his dynamic with them or how they act cause the only things I know is are that they go to every race and he seemed to be the one comforting them when he gets injured. Also him and Alex seem co-dependent on eachother but Marc seems to rely on Alex a little bit more than Alex does on him and I was wondering is you had any thought to why or maybe it’s just an older sibling thing.

talking about marc’s parents feels a leedle uncomfy for me (PERSONALLY. everyone else go ham) bc well. they’re certainly part of marc’s story and we know a lot about him because they’re in marc’s orbit and he’s brought them into the public sphere, obviously. but they’re not the MOST public of figures, and marc himself doesn’t comment on his relationship with them much except to emphasize he loves them (as opposed to vale and graziano who have been pretty publicly quoted about their relationship multiple times)

so im not going to pretend i don’t have opinions (eye dooooooo) but i also think all of those things are a little nebulous and hard for me to personally articulate so i’m gonna steer clear bc if i do say something i wanna have it be thought out a lil more than my usual caffeine fueled migraine essays where frankly i skate by on clownery and my parasocial projections on marc as resulted by us both being aquarius suns and capricorn moons. my soul sister fr

and like marc clearly is very close to his family and, considering how bananas and high stakes/pressure his life is, that makes sense ! there’s also some stuff that makes me raise a little bit of an eyebrow in terms of like. putting the financial future of the family on him as a teen and the injury stuff as you’ve mentioned. so infer from that what you will but i’m gonna chill in tha corner on this one

[cruiseshipmoment]

This might be a controversial take, but I think Luther tries to love Mac, but genuinely doesn’t know how.

From what we know he’s missed out on a lot of his sons life because he’s been in prison, and it’s put physical and emotional distance between them. Mac feels abandoned but maybe Luther feels abandoned too, even if he’s the one who essentially left his son without a father. Luther is shown to be very repressed emotionally, but when he is out of prison he does make the effort to build bridges with his son (and includes Charlie in that as well, likely only because he’s the friend of his son, which could’ve been so fascinating to explore in the show tbh) only to see his own actions end up putting him back in prison again—all because he couldn’t express the idea of making amends to others, or communicate his feelings or actions to Mac which ended up further driving them apart because Luther is so stuck in his own ways and Mac can’t trust him because because he doesn’t actually know him. Mac thinks his dad is a criminal. Luther was making positive steps forward, and ready to extend an olive branch to his only son, only for the rug to be pulled beneath him and discover that ‘oh, my son is afraid of me. He sees me as a criminal and believes I’m a bad person.’

It would be so hard not to hold onto that anger at both himself and towards Mac, who essentially just turned Luther’s attempts at redemption into a criminal act all because Luther himself wouldn’t let himself be vulnerable enough to be honest with his kid. Plus, to know your son is so scared of you that he would threaten to lie to keep you in prison? That he thinks you would take his life and the life of his friend—believes it with enough conviction he tries to stage his own death? That would feel so awful, knowing you’ve wronged your child this severely and that they in turn have tried to defend themselves from that pain by going on the offense and trying to hurt you first by sabotaging your chance at parole and at freedom? How do you come back from that from either of their perspectives?

But then we find out that Luther wrote to him, consistently, and we never know what he said because Dennis doesn’t tell him. All that pain and distance between two people and once again Luther is trying to bridge the gap and send out a chance for them to be redeemed to one another and have a father-son relationship. He might not say he loves Mac in those exact words, but it must mean something to keep writing to him even when he wasn’t getting anything in return. How long did he send letters only to never have anything returned? Did he think Mac didn’t get them? Did he think Mac got them but didn’t care? When did he give up on receiving a response and send his final letter?

And then we have Mac, who thinks his dad hates him. He can’t reach out because he feels responsible for putting him back behind bars. He is afraid that if he is his true self that his father won’t like what he sees. He doesn’t know if his dad hates him or if he ever thinks about him at all and all that time Luther had been doing what he could to close the rift between them.

We don’t know almost anything about the letters, and I wish we got some follow up to that. There is so much miscommunication and misunderstanding and pain between two men who should have been integral players in one another’s lives—and they are, but not how they should have been, you know? They’re both grieving for what they’ve lost. Mac lost a father, but Luther lost a son, too.

And then Mac shows up one day, out of the blue, and makes the public declaration that he’s gay. Luther didn’t have a moment to process that, or the privacy to do it, and basically he just sees his son show up after years without contact—with a surrogate father, no less, who has gotten to be privileged to seeing Luther’s son grow up and become a man and become His own person. And Luther didn’t get any of that. He’s the last to find out his son is gay, without any sort of warning, and he is expected to make some kind of declaration to that; to love his son anyways despite their tangled history and such a fractured relationship. Mac has come to tell him something important, because he is his father, but Luther hasn’t actually been his ‘dad’ for the majority of his life. He can’t repair ages of loss and absence in one sitting. So he walks away. He doesn’t say anything, but the action itself speaks loudly anyways.

Then there’s Luther’s own childhood, drug abuse/addiction, the criminal background that he’s always had and the hyper-masculinity that is probably all he’s ever known. The strength and stoicism required of his environment being met with the earnest and hopeful personality of his son. I’m sure there’s some envy there, too, to the freedom that Mac has with his feelings and emotions, even if we know that even Mac has such a limited outlet and willingness to acknowledge and express things. Plus the religious trauma and how that might effect both Mac and his dad.

I feel like Luther would see the worst of himself in Mac; whether that be in softness or in hardness. It’s hard to love a mirror of yourself, sometimes.

Idk if I explained my perspective clearly, but I think there is a lot of pain but also a lot of love between them both. They just don’t have the tools or the history required to understand each other and meet in the middle. They don’t know how to love themselves in their entirety, so they hate the versions of themselves that they see in each other. Idk I just think Luther is very repressed and even if he is a horrible father and a terrible man I really believe he is trying to learn how to love his son from a distance with the tools he has because being close to one another only leads to more hurt.

They’re so interesting to me. I want to much more content between the Mac family and a closer look at the dynamics of it all because there are so many ways to read everything we’ve seen between them.

Please tell me your perspective on this, I would love to hear whether you agree or disagree on my interpretation of them!

This is an interesting interpretation, and it's a much more generous one for Luther than I would think of. However, from what we see, I don't think this is true.

We know from "Mac Kills his Dad" that Luther was a distant parent even when he was around. Mac says Luther couldn't possibly have killed someone, since his "bad shoulder" meant he could never play catch with Mac and also couldn't possibly decapitate a guy with a stop sign. The tone with which Luther says "Riiiight" makes it clear that was a lie. Even when child Mac tried to connect with his dad in a hypermasculinity-approved way, Luther wouldn't engage. Catch is not an overtly emotional commitment. Plenty of emotionally repressed people can manage it.

Unfortunately, from Luther's later behavior, Mac is right to be afraid of him in "Mac and Charlie Die." Decapitating a guy with a stop sign takes a lot of rage coupled with some level of calculation. It's not a thing you can do on accident or a split-second impulse, like a gunshot. Also, in "Mac Finds His Pride" we learn that Luther cut out a guy's tongue for tattling on him. "Mac and Charlie Die" was Luther on a very good day. It could have so easily gone a different direction. There's maybe a case to be made for his time in prison contributing to the violent behavior, but since Mac was terrified from the get-go, I don't think the violence came out of nowhere.

We do know a little bit about the letters. Per Dennis, "He never once said he loved you," and, "He mostly just wanted you to send him pornographic magazines and put drugs in your butthole." This very much says that Luther just wants Mac to help him out, not build any sort of connection with him. I don't think Dennis is lying, because these are the same requests we've seen Luther make previously. It's a pattern.

By "Mac Finds His Pride," Luther has completely written his son off before we even get to the coming out scene. When he thinks Mac got someone pregnant, he says "There's hope for you yet. Not with your life, of course, but with the life of your son." He only values Mac for his potential to give him a grandson who might be better able to adhere to Luther's standards of behavior.

Luther waited until Mac was looking at him to walk out. He did so calmly and with an incredibly cold look on his face. That's not a man who got overwhelmed, panicked, and left. That's an awful, calculated "Fuck you." He didn't have to make a public sappy declaration. He just had to sit and watch. Mac is so starved for unconditional love that he would have been happy with Luther saying something as bland as, "Okay, son."

All of Luther's behavior, put together, screams "I love you, but only when you behave exactly the way I want you to." He wants a prop or a puppet, not a real son. Especially not a son like Mac, who has a lot of complicated feelings and needs.

And I'm sure you're right that Luther's own upbringing fucked him up. There's definitely trauma there, since apparently Grandpa McDonald effectively shunned Uncle Donald for being gay. Luther definitely learned that love is conditional from his own childhood. Luther's had sex with a man at least once, so there's a good chance there's internalized homophobia at work too.

Luther does love his son, but in a conditional way. And that's exactly what fucked Mac up so bad. Mac spent decades bending over backwards to be the son Luther wanted, and in the end it still wasn't enough.